The exercise:
Write two haiku about: the river.
Utterly beautiful day here today. Apparently they took full advantage at daycare, as when I picked Max up I was told by one of his teachers that he'd spent four hours outside.
Sounds like my son all right.
I shall cherish the memory of today's warmth in the coming days, for the forecast is calling for almost nothing but clouds and rain for the next five days.
Mine:
Step in and let go;
I will carry away the
weight of your sorrows
* * *
Sitting on the bank
at the bend in the river -
I am the lookout
Up from the river
ReplyDeleteRolls the fog, filling the town
What lurks beyond sight?
Smooth and placid, glassy
Don't step in, the undertow
Waits to pull you down.
@Morganna: I think I prefer your first haiku today, though I change my mind every time I read them! But the fog just has the edge on the undertow for now :)
ReplyDelete@Marc: I'm not convinced that five days of beautiful rain is really enough to make you miss Spring sunshine, but I'm sure you'll find a way to prove me wrong :) But it will stop daycare putting the children outside (unless they've been really naughty) I suppose!
I think I like your second haiku better today, partly because I'm curious as to what the look-out is watching out for.
The river
Autumn mists hang on
Dark waters, concealing the
River's twists and turns
Ice from remote floes
Floats unseen, a danger to
Those who drift along.
[I'm quite pleased with that acrostic, actually!]
Morganna - I'm with Greg and his difficulty in choosing a favorite. I think I'm leaning slightly towards your first though, for all the story that potentially awaits within.
ReplyDeleteGreg - yeah, they definitely spend a lot less time outdoors when it's raining. If it's really coming down I don't think they go out much at all (though I think they're required to have some outside time).
I'd say you have every right to be pleased with this one! Very impressive. Love the imagery in your first, and I enjoyed your tie-in to your acrostic in your second. Hard to pick, but I'll go with your first as well as my favorite this week.