tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149217012399643733.post446952761988084420..comments2023-12-06T00:48:23.734-08:00Comments on Daily Writing Practice: Monday January 30th, 2017Marchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14952331166517430843noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149217012399643733.post-82695885151777874052017-02-02T10:57:48.087-08:002017-02-02T10:57:48.087-08:00Morganna - that's a great little continuation,...Morganna - that's a great little continuation, with a perfect cliffhanger for Greg to continue. Great work!<br /><br />Greg - I thought you might not only like a return to Gardenvale, but also a chance to play there :)<br /><br />Thanks for the kind words on mine, yet again.<br /><br />I like what you've done with the place, and am especially pleased that you returned to the textbook there at the end. I'd intended for Timothy to be reading something... subversive, I suppose is one way of putting it... but I certainly didn't expect it to be what you made of it!<br /><br />Some interesting developments all around, and I feel like we might be coming back this way sooner or later to see what's going on.Marchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14952331166517430843noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149217012399643733.post-88346562131993810722017-01-31T22:08:23.645-08:002017-01-31T22:08:23.645-08:00@Morganna: Great work; I like particularly how you...@Morganna: Great work; I like particularly how you've kept Celeste's voice perfectly and the way Timothy finds to get Celeste to where he can see her. A nice increase in tension there at the end as well, and you leave me with plenty of ideas of how to go on!<br /><br />@Marc: Sounds like football is definitely good these days, so good luck with the swimming!<br />Thank-you for the return to Gardenvale! I had a feeling we might be back there about half-way through -- you dropped enough clues for me to figure them out, which was rather gratifying. There are a lot of nice details in here: the napkin as bookmark (done that!), the sense of exhaustion in the town, and the omnipresent feeling of dread that permeates everything Timothy does. It's quite immersive. I also quite liked the detail that there are layabouts in Gardenvale, but much, much earlier in the day than we might expect. Something odd is going on here....<br /><br /><b>Continued</b><br />"Who's that with you, Celeste?" he shouted. The woman next to Celeste looked identical to her and he was sure that Celeste had never mentioned having a twin sister. He dropped down from his toes, his feet aching slightly, and then bobbed back up, trying to see more clearly. The woman next to Celeste looked annoyed, and Celeste looked furious. He couldn't see her hands but he knew that they'd be bunching into fists.<br />"Timothy! Open the door now. I <i>own</i> this shop and I want to drink my coffee! Introductions can wait till later."<br />Timothy's hands went reluctantly to his keys, his fingers fumbling them as though they rejected the idea of opening the door as well. As he finally got the right one Celeste spoke again, her voice quieter but more urgent.<br />"Tim, hurry up please. There's a <i>stranger</i> at the top of the street."<br />His hand started pounding in his chest and sweat sprang out on his forehead as the memory of yesterday returned with full force. Even though the key was now slippery in his sweat-slicked hands he fumbled it into the lock, undid the top and bottom bolts and released the three chains. He heaved on the door and it swung ponderously inwards, and after a moment Celeste and her double came through. All three of them set to closing and locking the door again, and only when it was all done did the sense of terror subside.<br />"Second stranger in two days," said Celeste. She sounded tense. "Where are they all coming from? Timothy, this is Daphne, Daphne this is Timothy. Did you clean up the coffee machine already?"<br />Timothy nodded. "I haven't put the cleaning fluid in yet," he said. "I had the floor in here to do still."<br />Celeste and Daphne looked at the floor at the same time, and they both made a little moue of disappointment.<br />"Slow," said Celeste. "Still, I suppose I get the coffee faster. Come on."<br />She and Daphne went first, and Timothy hesitated a moment, then turned his textbook over so that the title on the cover rested against the table surface. He instinctively felt that <i>Dopplegangers: psychology and biology</i> might not be the right thing to be found to be reading at the moment.<br />Greghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08503319830584828982noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149217012399643733.post-22718450271059056632017-01-31T05:46:26.597-08:002017-01-31T05:46:26.597-08:00Timothy frowned. It sure sounded like Celeste, and...Timothy frowned. It sure sounded like Celeste, and it wasn't unusual for her to forget something important, but something seemed off.<br /><br />"Come around to the front, Celeste. I just mopped the floor in here." It was a little lie, the floor was almost dry, but he didn't want to open that door. The bars were down over the front window now, but he could look out through them or the window in the door to make sure it was really only Celeste before he opened the door.<br /><br />"Ugh. Okay. I'll come around front, but you better let me in then." He could hear her exasperated sigh through the thick door. <br /><br />He hurried through the back room and through the coffee shop at the front. At the front door, he stood on tiptoe to see through the high window. There was Celeste, as promised, looking fine, but she wasn't alone.morgannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04295309367485408358noreply@blogger.com