tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149217012399643733.post4842776971453196042..comments2023-12-06T00:48:23.734-08:00Comments on Daily Writing Practice: Friday January 21st, 2011Marchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14952331166517430843noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149217012399643733.post-60955890793158203492011-01-23T23:54:49.995-08:002011-01-23T23:54:49.995-08:00Heather - thanks!
I could picture your scene per...Heather - thanks! <br /><br />I could picture your scene perfectly :)Marchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14952331166517430843noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149217012399643733.post-24008979449137023132011-01-23T20:47:26.542-08:002011-01-23T20:47:26.542-08:00Marc- Great little vignette!
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Sitting at th...Marc- Great little vignette!<br /><br />-----<br /><br />Sitting at the bar disappointed with the day-old-donut taste of the glazed Dunkin Donut on my plate, I watched out the window. The little shop itself sat half under ground and so I only saw shoes, calves, and hems. I smiled as a pair of zebra print shoes with a bright red three inch heel clicked by. I could always recognize Sylvia by her sexy and completely inappropriate shoes on the Chicago streets.Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06237138428325062807noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149217012399643733.post-63471247985944170062011-01-22T23:42:58.651-08:002011-01-22T23:42:58.651-08:00Dumbricht - agree with Greg, you packed a lot into...Dumbricht - agree with Greg, you packed a lot into those four sentences. Very nicely done.<br /><br />Greg - ah, I did miss those two. Glad to see they haven't (totally) forgotten about the good doctor.<br /><br />Zhongming - thank you, and I liked the tie-in with the final line of your writing :)<br /><br />Summerfield - oh man, I think I've been the customer in that scene before. Though, to be honest, I usually give up after the second try and just eat whatever they've brought me :PMarchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14952331166517430843noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149217012399643733.post-75164256522270369192011-01-22T21:09:14.659-08:002011-01-22T21:09:14.659-08:00For the fourth time, this time with the Tim Horton...For the fourth time, this time with the Tim Horton's store manager as witness, Olivia repeated her order of "cinnamon-raisin bagel, lightly toasted, double butter, please."<br /><br />And the cashier asked her, also for the fourth time, if that was all and the manager nodded in approval.<br /><br />"Large green tea, bag on the side, please," says Olivia, rolling her eyes at the exercise.<br /><br />When her order came, for the fourth time, she received a small cup of green tea with the bag in it, and milk, and a maple glazed donut with a slice of cheese.summerfieldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15517091613960178381noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149217012399643733.post-76873281393099076292011-01-22T18:07:29.435-08:002011-01-22T18:07:29.435-08:00Marc - Happy Donut Day! I agree with Greg that thi...Marc - Happy Donut Day! I agree with Greg that this is a great idea to mark it as an anniversary. And I pray that you're all well! :D <br /><br />You bought me into the scene of the narrator’s mind instantly. It feels like I’m in a dreamland! :)<br /><br />dumbricht – that’s wonderfully well defined and I like it’s proceedings! The potential for expanding seems awesome :)<br /><br />Greg – I like the conversation and the licking lips action. Very cool! :D<br /><br />---<br /><br />In the donut shop<br /><br />“Hi, can I help you, Sir?”<br />I looked through the glass counter, full of different donuts, “Can I have two chocolate donuts, please?”<br />“Of course, Sir, is there anything else you would like to purchase?”<br />“I’m sorry but can I have another extra donut for our diabetic little girl?”Zhongminghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03316151636704591892noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149217012399643733.post-86279839054766717022011-01-22T10:55:52.803-08:002011-01-22T10:55:52.803-08:00@dumbricht: I like the pregnancy of your piece. I...@dumbricht: I like the pregnancy of your piece. It's complete in itself, but there's so much just waiting to happen there! I think I liked the details of the stain and the sunrise most, they hint at interesting revelations to come.<br /><br />@marc: I remember Diabetes Donut Day, and I still think it's one of your better ideas. I hope it's been a fun day for you :)<br />I'd forgotten washers and dryers have to be level -- well done achieving that in your basement.<br />Ah, your actresses are all clearly Portman-style, doing the whole method-acting routine. I did like your little vignette.<br /><br /><b>In the donut shop</b><br />"Why are we here, instead of looking for Dr. Septopus?" Sylvestra stared around the Donut shop, while the Green Lightbulb drooled on the counter.<br />"I got thirsty for coffee," he said, licking his lips. "And this is the only place I can get it donut-flavoured."Greghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08503319830584828982noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149217012399643733.post-15934256214522296152011-01-22T04:47:57.478-08:002011-01-22T04:47:57.478-08:00Marc, Happy Donut Day - my wife will be so displea...Marc, Happy Donut Day - my wife will be so displeased when I greet the kids with jellies today.<br /><br />Loved your last line - makes the piece so sad.<br /><br />I look at the stain, straining to remember how it appeared on my favorite blue dress. I shield my eyes, as the sunrise pierces the storefront window. Mouth tasting sour, I light a cigarette. The cheap bastard returns and hands me a glazed jelly stick.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com