tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149217012399643733.post5781102289719489350..comments2023-12-06T00:48:23.734-08:00Comments on Daily Writing Practice: Wednesday February 20th, 2013Marchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14952331166517430843noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149217012399643733.post-88737521111766481212013-02-22T00:14:38.624-08:002013-02-22T00:14:38.624-08:00Greg - I probably should have clarified that it wa...Greg - I probably should have clarified that it was with Max :P<br /><br />Love it, love it, love it. That 'Excuse me' is so understated and awesome.<br /><br />g2 - awesome descriptions in that final paragraph. That last line in particular.<br /><br />Well! This certainly got dark and creepy in a hurry :DMarchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14952331166517430843noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149217012399643733.post-12280749558468686442013-02-21T06:44:56.532-08:002013-02-21T06:44:56.532-08:00Geez, this reminds me so much of Midnight. It'...Geez, this reminds me so much of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Midnight_(Doctor_Who)" rel="nofollow"><i>Midnight</i></a>. It's kind of wonderful.<br /><br />I don't have a ton of time today, nor do I really know what to do here, but I still wanted to join in. So let's get a look at this creature.<br />- - - - - - - - - -<br />People at the back of the compartment surged forward to try and see what was happening, as those at the front scrambled back from the driver's body. Jake, and his immediate neighbors, couldn't bring themselves to move at all.<br /><br />Both the thin man and the woman with the mobile stopped screaming when the the viscous echo came from the driver's compartment. Everyone held their breath when something started to move in the compartment.<br /><br />Jake brought himself to lean and look, then immediately wished he hadn't. Someone---something---stretched itself to standing, its head just brushing the ceiling, and in the emergency lights Jake saw it was a spiky caricature of the driver. Same general face, but with lopsided features. Angular arms that were much too long, and letter-opener fingers. Blobs of color that were supposed to be the uniform, carelessly fingerpainted on. And stuck at the back of its head Jake saw the chunk of the driver's head, with missing tufts of hair marking the seam.g2 (la pianista irlandesa)https://www.blogger.com/profile/11746312007846172620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149217012399643733.post-47569948102843616102013-02-21T00:55:34.263-08:002013-02-21T00:55:34.263-08:00An amazing experience at the doctor's office? ...An amazing experience at the doctor's office? I know there's a joke about prostates in there somewhere.... I'm going to guess that your diabetes is improving after the care you take of yourself though :)<br /><br />Interesting, a subway, a halted train, and no lights? Great scene setting, so I guess it's my job to provide a little action then.<br /><br /><b>Continued...</b><br />The woman next to him looked up briefly and then returned to the pale glow of the screen of her mobile device. Jake envied her utter lack of concern. The slim man on his other side was less calm, and started breathing faster and more heavily. Jake shivered a little; the noise reminded him uncomfortably of his days as a conscript.<br />There was the sound of a bolt being slid back behind him and then a gruff voice saying "Excuse me, excuse me." A little white spilled out from a widening gap, and as people shuffled around Jake realised that the door from the driver's cab was opening. Clearly there was emergency lighting in there.<br />"Excuse me, excuse me." The driver shuffled out of the cab, and in the ghastly glare of the emergency lighting he was mostly in silhouette to all the passengers. Which meant that Jake and the slim man were the only two who could see that the entire back of his head was missing, bloodlessly sliced away leaving ragged edges of bone and torn brain tissue. A smell of cloves suddenly filled the carriage, and Jake coughed, his throat reflexively trying to close against the suffocating miasma. The slim man started screaming, a high pitched whine like the whistle of a boiling kettle, and the train driver turned his ruined head towards them.<br />"Excuse me," he said again, and fell over, landing on the woman with the mobile device. She stared at the back of his head, deep into his brain, and then she started screaming too, hoarse and terrified.<br />"Excuse me," whispered something from the driver's carriage, a glutinous, mucus-filled slop of a voice mimicking what it had just heard.<br />"Excuse me...."Greghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08503319830584828982noreply@blogger.com