tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149217012399643733.post7758946234757661480..comments2023-12-06T00:48:23.734-08:00Comments on Daily Writing Practice: Wednesday June 29th, 2016Marchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14952331166517430843noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149217012399643733.post-23170723658551192842016-07-20T17:09:31.666-07:002016-07-20T17:09:31.666-07:00Morganna - I'm with Greg and his appreciation ...Morganna - I'm with Greg and his appreciation of your second verse. It really brings the whole thing together. Brilliant :)<br /><br />Greg - hah, I don't recall what was going on for me when I wrote this, but I'll admit to enjoying re-reading it!<br /><br />Fantastic atmosphere in yours, and I really liked the effect of the lighting. The final scene, played out on the 150th floor, is beautifully executed.Marchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14952331166517430843noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149217012399643733.post-19454507723459525102016-07-02T00:32:51.080-07:002016-07-02T00:32:51.080-07:00@Morganna: your second verse is wonderful, it prov...@Morganna: your second verse is wonderful, it provides a lovely counterpoint to the description of the quest and the hope that the alien has. And it's very nice to see it turned around as well, with aliens (possibly) searching for us.<br /><br />@Marc: quite a solemn piece from you today, clearly those tourists have put you in a thoughtful frame of mind! I like the motif of the ringing telephone in the background to show off the obsession that the astronomer has, and the descriptions at the end of the stiffness and other problems that come from standing still for too long. I'm also liking the fact that even though this discovery could be a hopeful one, you've played that down, which makes me wonder if it's going to turn out to be trouble....<br /><br /><b>The observatory</b><br />Wooden doors clicked shut behind them, and lights came on automatically. It was late evening and most of the staff had gone home, so the building was quiet and the only lights were the ones that lit ahead of them, and faded behind them. Maurette turned her head to check; behind them the darkness hovered like a stalker, leaping forward so as not to lose them, but never getting close enough to touch. They turned a corner and reached a metal door: the elevators. James pressed the call button, and the doors slid open immediately as though they'd been waiting to be asked.<br />The elevator accelerated after a moment, and the floor numerals went blank. She must have looked at them too sharply, for James placed an authoritarian hand on her shoulder. She wondered briefly if he were holding her in place to stop her lifting from the floor with the acceleration.<br />"Express elevator," he said. His voice was still pale and listless, still evoked memories. "We have to change at the 40th floor, so this is non-stop." Three minutes later the numerals lit up with "40" in red, and the elevator stilled and the doors opened with a ping. The darkness was outside, waiting for them. As James stepped out it retreated again, recessed spotlights turning on and illuminating a room that was nothing but a lobby: a table with a bowl of flowers, a painting on the wall of a depressed horse, and two other elevator doors.<br />They changed elevators three more times, stepping out at last on the 150th floor. Here there were corridors and doors and the soft-humming of the air heaters. James led the way, the lights still coming on as they approached and turning off behind them.<br />"Many of these rooms contain computers," he said. "Each one requires a support staff of nearly thirty people. The only reason we don't need more of them, and the staff, is because at this height we're just outside the Earth's atmosphere." They walked through double doors with armed guards on both sides. They wore the white and blue uniform of the Unified Authority and had the cold, dead eyes of serial killers.<br />"This is the Observatory," he gestured around the at the wood-panelled room, "That is Mars," and he gestured at the projection of a telescope view on the wallscreen, "And that is where we intend to send four men to plant our flag."Greghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08503319830584828982noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1149217012399643733.post-59984242822100180352016-06-30T08:24:51.618-07:002016-06-30T08:24:51.618-07:00Away out there in space
Staring hungrily into its...Away out there in space <br />Staring hungrily into its telescopes <br />Scanning the skies with regularity <br />An alien searches for life like it. <br /><br />Every year it must justify <br />The continued search -- <br />Money-counting aliens want <br />More than a drain on the bank account. <br /><br />There's other life out there, <br />I'm sure of it! <br />Just wait -- I promise <br />Some day we'll see evidence, I know!morgannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04295309367485408358noreply@blogger.com