I think I prefer my second haiku too, looking back. Of yours I really, really like the first one which just gives me this wonderful image of a seedy little dojo with a Master with a scruffy moustache, torn uniform and an offer to sell you whatever coloured belt you'd like... for a price. Your second is excellent too, with a very different air about it, but that first one just draws me in :)
Isn't Mojo Dojo a villain in the Power Puff Girls cartoon? Just a thought... :)
ReplyDeleteThe dojo
Many challenge him
At his own dojo but he
Serves them for breakfast.
Theory is not
Enough, he trains 'til he drops,
Recovers, repeats.
Greg - no idea!
ReplyDeleteOoh, I like both of these. Very different from each other but both so good. Hard to choose... but I think I like the second best. Tight race though.
Mine:
Our Master is no
Master - last night I saw him
dip his belts in paint
* * *
Night falls. Silence reigns.
Sweat soaks into floor boards while
blood dries on the walls.
I think I prefer my second haiku too, looking back. Of yours I really, really like the first one which just gives me this wonderful image of a seedy little dojo with a Master with a scruffy moustache, torn uniform and an offer to sell you whatever coloured belt you'd like... for a price. Your second is excellent too, with a very different air about it, but that first one just draws me in :)
ReplyDelete