Morganna - hah, the picture you've painted in my head of this patient is fantastic. I can just see the facial expression while this is being spoken/demanded.
Dragonfly - really like your first one, as that final line just hammers the theme home. Nicely done!
@Morganna: I thing Marc said it perfectly to be honest, but I agree with him nonetheless -- it's so easy to picture this scene!
@Dragonfly: again, I agree with Marc, the last line of your first haiku is apposite and punchy -- really, really good.
@Marc: I held the laptop over an open flame until the invisible ink was revealed, and -- I'm sorry, but that first haiku of yours was just disappointing. But the second was much better, especially where you rhymed 'inconsequentialities' with 'sinning senescent dual disabilities'. That was quite something!
Strike Showboating again – The crowd are booing, then the Ref... calls it a Strike!
I don't play sport but Knitting is fun: three strikes means Eating all the wool....
Greg - I'm not sure how I managed the syllable count there, but thanks!
I'm also not sure that I'd want to compete in competitive knitting, as I'm quite sure that I'd be the one eating all the wool the vast majority of the time...
They can't make me eat
ReplyDeleteI won't! Not until they fire
The nurse who hates me.
The Strike 2 haiku
ReplyDeleteambulance drivers
were going on strike over pay
illness become death
lightning strikes the tree
it creates a bush fire
wipes out the whole State
Morganna - hah, the picture you've painted in my head of this patient is fantastic. I can just see the facial expression while this is being spoken/demanded.
ReplyDeleteDragonfly - really like your first one, as that final line just hammers the theme home. Nicely done!
@Morganna: I thing Marc said it perfectly to be honest, but I agree with him nonetheless -- it's so easy to picture this scene!
ReplyDelete@Dragonfly: again, I agree with Marc, the last line of your first haiku is apposite and punchy -- really, really good.
@Marc: I held the laptop over an open flame until the invisible ink was revealed, and -- I'm sorry, but that first haiku of yours was just disappointing. But the second was much better, especially where you rhymed 'inconsequentialities' with 'sinning senescent dual disabilities'. That was quite something!
Strike
Showboating again –
The crowd are booing, then the
Ref... calls it a Strike!
I don't play sport but
Knitting is fun: three strikes means
Eating all the wool....
cheers, guys,
ReplyDeleteI guess the fact of life adds to the reality sucker punch of that line ;)
Greg - I'm not sure how I managed the syllable count there, but thanks!
ReplyDeleteI'm also not sure that I'd want to compete in competitive knitting, as I'm quite sure that I'd be the one eating all the wool the vast majority of the time...