The exercise:
Okay, one more from the workshop and tomorrow I'll have something fresh. For the record I haven't been taking a break from writing the last few days, just focusing on other stuff. Some of it is over on Protagonize, some of it is not.
*Ooooooh, mysterious*
Anyway, today's starter: your first writing memory.
Mine:
Grade eleven - I was not at my most shy but I was still uncomfortable with my mind and my body. I couldn't take a compliment to save my life.
Writing class, a grade ten/eleven split. Being one of the older kids gave me some confidence. I sat behind a grade ten boy who was very academically gifted but he struggled with creativity - a math type, not an art type.
We had been given an assignment to write a short story that had a twist at the end. I remember my opening paragraph very clearly still - it was a first person story from the perspective of an ant, that was my big reveal at the end.
When our teacher was handing back our work I was quietly thrilled that I had done well, the boy in front of me was loudly unimpressed he had done poorly. He didn't understand what he had done wrong.
The teacher suggested that he he read mine as an example of what he should have been striving for. I handed it over with a heady mix of pride and terror.
He read my first paragraph and said that he could never manage that. I politely attempted to convince him otherwise but internally... I knew he was right.
That was the first time I felt proud of my ability to write. I think chasing that feeling is a part of why I write today. I bet he doesn't even remember that day, that moment, but it means so much to me still.
"Fff...ih...ssshhh...fff...ih...shhh", I couldn't spell it to save my life. I was in kindergarten, and had thought of myself as quite smart up to that point. I was nearly in tears when the teacher finally told me to go play.
ReplyDeleteAfter that i thought of myself as much more mathematically inclined. In retrospect, i think my capacities changed with developmental stages. I spent some younger years avoiding books due to insecurity. Sad, i know.
I remember writing a Halloween story in grade 2, and the teacher sending me to the principal's office for praise. I also remember being placed in a "learning enrichment class" and hiding within myself, utterly consumed with anxiety. I felt horribly inadequate and insecure. I didn't attend the next enrichment class.
I remember writing poems when i was 11 or 12; my first poem was about "Dracula", the movie. I still have it.
Then i was in grade 8, and mostly absent from school. I was quiet and conflicted. I felt disliked by my English teacher. I showed up for the final exam and enjoyed writing a descriptive essay -apparently she liked it.
A lot has happened since then, and I have written a fair bit -mostly poems. I took a creative writing class while awaiting my nursing program.
I told someone the other day that i really like to write. I've said this before, but somehow that day and that person... The idea settled within me, and i could feel this new person, this "writer" looking out confidently and self-assured.
Thank you so much for sharing this.
ReplyDeleteyoure welcome. it was nice to reflect. thanks for the opportunity.
ReplyDeletethank-you for sharing your story as well.