The exercise:
I was feeling silly today, so we're going to do some unfavorable comparisons.
AFC Word Count: 22,589
AFC Word Target: 20,000
Mine:
His voice was like a fallen angel: broken, burned, and tortured.
Her drumbeat had the rhythm of an epileptic seizure.*
Your breath is like garbage that's been left out in the sun for three weeks.
What did I think of your speech? It was like listening to a gathering of drunk alley cats at midnight while I'm trying to sleep.
*Before anyone asks: no, that was not inspired by something that happened at class last night. I've just had drumming on my mind and that, combined with something Greg wrote the other day, produced that rather unflattering comparison.
2 comments:
ALC's coming along nicely I see :) Are you on target for the end of the month still?
I think your first two comparisons are superb, and the others good. Looking at them again, I think I'm preferring the more exotic comparisons this morning!
Unfavourable comparisons
He said his fancy-dress was motley, but we all thought it was rather more muttley, except (of course) that none of our lap-dogs would be seen dead looking so ill-dressed and scruffy.
Your sympathy is as convincing as an unshaven, overweight drag queen in hot pants after a bar brawl.
Your face reminds of me of cod: better when battered.
Your fake sun-tan's so badly applied that the zebras at the safari park keep trying to mate with you.
The end of the month is looking iffy. We'll see. If I don't make it I'll just keep going until I do though.
I can't believe you made your first one rhyme. I am impressed.
I also liked that last one :)
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