The exercise:
I managed to survive the opening segment of my NaNoWriMo novel last night without having an aneurysm, so I guess it wasn't that bad. I think the most galling thing was seeing words that had been left out.
Kat and I are in the beginning stages of shopping for a used car.
So this week's Two Haiku Tuesday is brought to you by: car shopping.
Mine:
I can't believe it!
This one's totally perfect!
... Does it come in red?
* * *
The greasy salesman
says it's a steal. The police
would seem to agree.
5 comments:
hi! how about that crosby kid eh? nah, i didn't even watch the game. couldn't or i would've had a heart attack, so i did karaoke. and i found that that's how i'm going to shake this olympic thing off me so i could start writing again. :-)
so to start, let's go car shopping and let me try that haiku again:
-0-
what would it be now?
fire engine red, or dark blue?
banana yellow!
prime plus six percent
with free gas and a car wash
take it or leave it.
-0-
toodles!
Hehe, I find I miss words, usually small ones, out when I'm tired, and I completely agree that it's so frustrating to see that you've missed the verb (e.g. do) out when the rest of the sentence is beautifully articulate. Then again, when I get really tired I miss out the middles of sentences when I'm speaking, so maybe I should be grateful.
I like the Canadian pronunciation of about, I just can't work out what you're doing with the vowel sound to be able to copy it.
The second haiku is fantastic, it made me smile in a broad grin. The first one's good, just not as funny :)
Car shopping
All of these look good:
Sporty, Fast. But what I want
Is a railroad car.
-----
That's the third today,
How does anyone fit them
All in a trolley?
I really like everyone's second haiku. Except mine. I prefer my first one. :)
He told me the price.
You´re crazy! I cried. He laughed.
I´ll take your leg, too.
°°°
Rolling colour field.
Ordered according to price.
Long walk to best deal.
Haha! Liked the first one, as it reminded me of our family's Priusito Rojito (as I lovingly call it ^^), and the second one's just brilliant. Unfortunately my car-shopping knowledge is next door neighbors with didly-squat at best, so I don't think I could write anything decent even if I wanted to for this one.
However, if you really want something I could be completely irrelevant.
- - - - -
snack-apple-chiclets
in'tresting what your mind thinks
up when it's drifting
. . . . .
chaos it papers
my desk most hectically. I
can't find my homework
- - - - -
Completely irrelevant, yes, but hey! At least there're two hiakus! =D
Summerfield - good to see you again :)
Those are two fine haiku, but I think the banana yellow wins it for the first one.
Greg - yeah, it happens to me when I start writing in a rush. It's just cringe inducing when you see it in something that was so much about the word count, you know?
I like both of yours... the second one slightly more though :)
Tristan - haha, I like both of yours but I'll admit to preferring the first as well :)
g2 - two haiku are all I ask for (on Tuesdays anyway).
I really like your second one :)
Post a Comment