The exercise:
Your four line poem this week shall be based around the words: leaving the city behind.
On the road to Osoyoos today. If I have internet access at the house I'll be sure to update this post before the day is through.
Mine:
Dearest city: So long and farewell,
I must thank you for all the great fish;
I'll admit you've treated me just fine,
But leaving you is my only wish.
A Douglas Adams reference? I hope g2 reads your poem today!
ReplyDeleteI like it, but there's an uncharacteristic hint of bitterness there as well; nothing malicious, but turning a back on something is always a little bitter, I think.
Leaving the city behind
The train shakes and its wheels hum:
Too fast, too fast, too fast
We're leaving the city behind,
And all the things that I thought would last.
haha! Not only is it an Adams reference, but it's perfect because this weekend's my graduation (which I still can't entirely believe)! I agree with Greg, just a tiny bit of bitterness; it's a sort of "this has been great but I need something different" sort of bitterness, if it can even be called that.
ReplyDeleteGreg, I certainly liked yours; there's definitely a sort of bitterness there, or a hint of disbelief that whatever's connected with the displacement's actually happened. Maybe it could be connected to a piece about riding the rails during the Depression or something.
It won't be long before I must
bid this fine town farewell,
but I'll be back before too long...
home casts that sort of spell.
Greg - yours has a great little rhythm to it. I've read it about four times now and am nowhere near tired of it :)
ReplyDeleteg2 - congratulations! That's absolutely fantastic :)
And your four lines are just about perfect. That last line is totally spot on, great work.