The exercise:
Two haiku about: the sailor.
I thought I'd start off by sharing a few pictures of the resort we stayed at in Negril during our first week away. It was a beautiful location, and it was nice to be completely taken care of for the first few days. But after we'd settled in we were ready to get out and explore, to see some 'real' Jamaica. It was just a bit too sheltered for our liking.
But yeah, beautiful spot:
We had a room in one of the buildings at the left of this picture:
The grounds were amazing. This silk cotton tree is (if I recall correctly) about 175 years old:
More pictures to come tomorrow!
Mine:
The captain said he
should show more initiative -
so he mutinied.
* * *
In all directions
nothing but water to see -
sweet serenity.
Today's pictures are lovely; the top one reminds me (unsurprisingly) of the beach in Antigua, and the bottom one is a really good picture. It's actually a shame that the smaller tree on the left is there; without it you'd have the silk cotton tree able to really capture the eye.
ReplyDeleteThe first haiku is good, but I like the second one better today. It just sounds peaceful to me :)
The Sailor
He met Davey Jones,
on a stormy, winter sea:
Hope springs eternal.
-----
His boat can be found
On the Mare Imbrium,
Just look up tonight.
Marc - welcome back! The pictures are lovely and Jamaica looks amazing! Looking forward to more pics.
ReplyDeleteI like both haikus but the second one more for the imagery it conveys :)
Greg - I like both but the first one more, perhaps because it has the word "hope" in it which I like very much :)
Here's mine:
The sailor
A sailor, he said,
But hardly on a vessel –
for I get seasick.
***
Rolling waves and days,
Keeping my boredom at bay –
Destination nears.
Hey people, i'm back!! Had lots of fun out there in Taiwan :D
ReplyDeleteMarc, thats some beautiful pictures! Very well taken, it symbolize beautiful nature!
---
The Sailor
Aye, roll with the wind.
The flag flying with their wings.
Steady arms, sailor!
---
Don't panic, stay calm!
Hurricane, typhoon - fearsome!
Let's create storm then!
Marc - great pics - welcome back. And solid haikus - i really liked the first one.
ReplyDeleteGreg - really liked the second one. I'll be slightly critical of the first - the use of a cliche in the last line fell flat for me.
Watermark - I really liked your first one - nice, whimsical style.
Zhongming - welcome back. I like the first one - i needed a pirate interlude.
Here are mine - apologies for the darkness, I wanted one of them to be light. Unfortunately, you never know what will come out:
Tattered rags hug me
Ragged sail propels the boat
The leaks spell our doom
Full moon shines brightly
Swinging boom splatters her head
Where shall I dump her
Hi Marc! Glad you had a nice trip and you made it back safely.
ReplyDeleteI'm the captain here
He announced and then we
Pushed him overboard.
The captain's in charge,
Ma'm, right up until the crew
Mutinies. Now, charge!
Greg - yeah, that tree was so massive I had trouble finding a good angle to capture it from.
ReplyDeleteTwo great haiku, I can't pick a favorite.
Watermark - thanks, good to be back :)
I love the rhythm of your second haiku. I like the first as well, but perhaps 'rarely' would work better than 'hardly', for the sake of clarity? Unless I'm reading it wrong.
Zhongming - glad you had a good trip too :)
Really like your first one, it has a nice flow to it.
David - the use of the word 'splatters' in your second haiku really conveys a grisly image. Kudos on the word choice :)
Morganna - thanks :)
Haha, really like your first one. I can just picture it :D