The exercise:
Today we write about: the hole.
Very full day in the garden. We spent the entire morning harvesting for our local orders (most of that time was spent finding eighteen pounds of strawberries) and then I went back out in the evening to get another spray on our cabbages. It's an organic mixture that helps keep destructive bugs away, which is nice. But the ratio is 10 grams to 10 liters of water, which is... less nice.
On my shoulders, seeing as I'm carrying all this around in a pack strapped to my back.
Anyway. At least it only needs to be applied once a week, rather than every day. That would be a nightmare.
Mine:
"Fill that in."
Lemmy looked over at his supervisor for a moment before inspecting the surrounding area. He scratched his chin, squinted for a few breaths, then gave up.
"Fill what in?" he asked.
"The hole."
"What, the whole hole?" Lemmy was starting to get a headache.
"Are you provoking me on purpose?" his supervisor countered before pointing a rather intimidating finger in Lemmy's direction. "Now grab that damned shovel and get to filling, or I'll grab it and get to hitting."
"Yessir. Right away, sir." Lemmy took hold of the shovel and placed it safely out of his supervisor's reach. "Now, just so we're clear here... you want that hole filled in, wholly and completely?"
"Get to work before I decide to throw you down there and then do the job myself."
10litres is 10kg isn't it? I can see that starting to feel really heavy quite quickly! Still, think of all those muscles you're developing :)
ReplyDeletePoor Lenny, looks like he's going to be aching for weeks by the time he's finished!
The hole
"You see," said Clarisse, shifting her 300-pound bulk uncomfortably on Oprah's sofa, "I used to weigh much more."
Oprah tried to look as though she believed Clarisse, but the woman was nearly spherical. Jabba the Hutt would have been delighted to have her as a pin-up model for his posters.
"Really?" she said. "So you're dieting now? That's a good thing, and a great example to be setting. Too many people today don't realise how much they put their health at risk by not thinking about what they're eating."
"Yes," said Clarisse, producing a doughnut box from behind the sofa. "Did you know that Tom Cru--"
"Ignore him," said Oprah quickly. "Doughnuts? On a diet?"
"Yes, that's just it," said Clarisse. "It turns out that all the calories in a doughnut can be scared into the hole, which you don't have to eat!" A look of joy wormed its way across her slightly-piggy face.
"What?" said Oprah, her face carefully blank.
"RAWWRRRGGHGGHGHGH!" screamed Clarisse at the box of doughnuts, her face going a deeply unhealthy puce colour. She offered the box to Oprah.
"Calorie-free," she said happily. "Just remember to spit the hole out!"
Greg - scaring calories away seems like a fine way to diet :)
ReplyDeleteThe hole was dug and never used, well that was what we thought. Mr.Mills went over to look at the hole every day and every night. It really scared me.
ReplyDeleteOne day i was brave enough to look in it. When i looked down the hole i saw feet but then i felt somebody push me into the hole.
No one ever saw me again.