The exercise:
Two haiku about: outcasts.
Inspired by a couple of unfortunate players in the NFL's conference championship games last weekend. I even went and wrote my first haiku about one of them, or at least what I expect the end result will be.
If you'd care to help me out a little, do the following:
1. Look up from your writing.
2. Pick out one object that grabs your attention.
3. Send me a quick email with it. Subject: One Object. Body: The object. That's all.
I'm planning on making a prompt or two out of this. So, really, you're just helping yourselves. Or something.
Onward!
Mine:
He is leaving town
with a new name, just because
he missed a field goal
* * *
The circle has closed.
He stands beyond its safety
as the wolves draw near.
9 comments:
Piebald and scrawny,
Huddled in a cardboard box,
Runt of the litter.
High in the mountain,
His beard like a waterfall,
The hermit listens.
@Jack: I like your first haiku best, definitely.
@Marc: I think I like your second haiku better, but the first is good too. I'm at ICE today, so email will happen later!
outcasts
They claim they're a band,
But it's just five homeless guys,
Singing out of tune.
@marc - like your second one best - makes me think of the new Liam Neeson movie
@Jack- love the first one - particularly "piebald and scrawny"
@Greg - like yours, first thing I though of with this prompt was the band Outkast - but didn't do anything with it.
I hate myself for my first one, but that's what practice is for:
Survivor outcast
Voted off of the island
The tribe has spoken
Nerd loser geek tool
I won’t let you see me cry
I’ll own you some day
@Marc - I like your first one.. .probably because that missed field goal let my home team win (Not that I'm a sports fan, but I grew up when the New England Teams were the pits! I'm no fareweather fan...) Anyway...
@Jack - I like the second one better. My husband had a dog who'd been the runt of the litter, she was an awesome stocky yellow Lab. *sniflles*
@Greg - ha ha, nice one.
@David - don't hate yourself for the first one, though it's the second one that rules! :}
the first one is meh, but I defiantley loke the second even if I"m not sure the last lines says what I mean it to. :}
Outcast
A book I once read
It was called The Outsiders
They were the outcasts
Outside looking in
I can see what you can not
Gives me words to write
Outcasts
She is alone now,
they left her behind again.
Her new life begins.
He is gang leader
until the Bloods overrun.
A new death begins.
Jordan - 2nd haiku is the best, excellent imagery.
Marc - 2nd one kicks ass
Greg - v. good
David - 2nd one is great (however I think you should give yourself 50 lashes for the fist one...lol)
Cathryn - your 2nd one is the best, it is very literary.
Cathryn -- love the 2nd one, I have written poems about people in that way that I think you mean. :)
--------------
Each town he comes to
Welcomes him for a while, then
He must move along.
----------------
It's meant to go along with my response yesterday to the grifter prompt.
Very busy day. Took the prompt with me. Haven't even had time to read everyone elses. Headed to bed, it's already "tomorrow". Oh here's mine.....
Hung from high above
He gave his life out of love
Now he reins supreme
Goth girl tries to hide
her pain and disgrace, under
black hair and pale face.
There are days my nerdiness knows no bounds. What can I say, I love me my internet radio.
He knew of a time
When his people were welcome.
Now they walk alone.
What did you said now?
You like streaming media?
No Grandpa, 'Outcast'!
JorJack - that's a great opening line in your first haiku!
Greg - do I know what ICE is? I've a feeling you've mentioned it before...
Heh, I'm not sure I'd want to see that band in concert.
David - oh man, that first one :P
I'd say your second one more than makes up for it though!
Elor - definitely like your second one best. Says a lot with so little.
Iron Bess - really like that you managed to work in those contrasting last lines. Nicely done.
Morganna - I think that makes an excellent partner to your previous response :)
Krystin - two nicely handled haiku. Sweet dreams!
GZ - hah, well I suspect you're among friends here :)
Quite like the sentiment in your first one. Can see a story growing from those three lines.
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