The exercise:
Four lines of prose about: the town elders.
Two guesses where I was when I wrote mine, and the first one doesn't count.
Mine:
"I seek the honored wisdom of The Town Elders."
"Surely you must know where they can be found, my child."
"No, Sister - my search has proven fruitless thus far."
7 comments:
were you at, uhm, Timmy Hos? that's not where we're going, is it? not that i don't love me some Timmy Hos every day, but... was expecting a little more, i dunno, pomp?
mine
The attendant at the door was kind enough, ushering me into the brightly lit space with whispered words.
"So nice of you to drop by, if unexpected."
I took my seat, and what happened next assured me that the elders had in fact anticipated my coming.
"Oh, please, help yourself to a Werthers, I know they're your favourite!"
@Jackerbie: Heh, that last line is almost directly pulled from their advertising isn't it? Great little piece!
@Marc: I'm with Jackerbie, I think you were in Tim Horton's tormenting yourself with the knowledge that donut day has been and gone this year :-P
It does make for a nice punchline for your piece though.
The town elders
"We wish to see the town elders," said Jack, his face unsmiling. Next to him Suzie was pulling faces and generally acting more like a six-year-old than the sixty-year-old she actually was.
"This way," said a slender woman with a slightly dented head; her voice was thick and she limped slightly as she walked.
When they arrived at the requisite stand of trees and Jack produced his hand axe she looked truly horrified.
The council election is coming up.
There are five candidates from which to choose the mayor.
They like to think of themselves as the town elders, all wise and everything.
Nah, I don't think so, those days are long gone.
“The boy may enter now, Hanzel”
The man standing at the doorway bows to the members of the tribal counsel and lifts the flap of the tent. Without looking back he exits and begins to address a young man standing outside the tent.
“Ranku, the counsel requests your presence.” Without another word Hanzel leads Ranku back into the tent.
The eldest member of the counsel stands. “Ranku of Tabreth, today is the eve of your sixteenth birthday. Today we will see which quest shall mark your transition to manhood. Walk to the sacred chalice and draw from it a single stone.”
Ranku does as he is told. He places his hand into the chalice and pulls from it a small blue stone with the number three engraved upon it. He holds it out to the counsel elder.
“Three has been chosen. It is the quest of the oceans .You shall retrieve a black pearl.”
Immediately Ranku curses his luck, a tear falls from his eye and he is left wishing he would have learned to swim.
JorJack - I imagine there will be both more pomp *and* circumstance involved :)
Also: mmm, Werthers.
Greg - I was actually enjoying a coffee while managing to completely ignore the existence of donuts. Or something.
Love your descriptions, as usual.
Writebite - heh, it often seems like those running take themselves more seriously than those voting :)
Krystin - oops, you snuck in while I was writing my comment!
Oof, that is bad luck! Ah well, no time like the present!
Intriguing start to a story though, lots of possibilities there.
“Well this is ridiculous,” said Jack, shaking his head and waving his hands around for emphasis.
“How so?” Replied Katie, who managed to sound unimpressed as she looked up from the book in her lap.
“I was supposed to find the bloody 'town elders' but I've been up and down every damned street and to all the municipal buildings and public spaces I could find and bupkiss!”
“Maybe you should have looked here,” said Katie pointing to the pages under her finger, “So far I've got Dave Elder and Sam Elder and Joe Elder and even an Eileen Elder!”
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