The exercise:
Your theme for today's writing: breathless.
Can't even explain how much fun it is to hang out with the guy I chose as my best man for my wedding day. Honestly couldn't breathe at several points this evening, I was laughing so hard.
I don't know if anything will actually come of it, but we appear to be in the planning stages of writing a children's story together. Possibly the most bizarre children's story ever.
And also, in my humble and unbiased opinion, the most hilarious.
I'll let you know if we get our act together and actually make a serious (so not the right word) go of it.
Mine:
Air slips free but does not return. All is calm initially, there is no reason to worry. Just a temporary inconvenience that will be over soon.
Seconds pass and still there is no new air. Concern blossoms in dark, secret rooms within. A slight tightening of the chest, a darting about of the eyes. Knowledge that something is amiss.
Panic awakens and speeds through veins, forcing limbs to flail and grasp. What was light is now dragged toward the dark. Thoughts grow sporadic, confused.
Still there is an emptiness where the breath of life should be. Fighting, refusing to give up. A losing battle.
Heh, sounds like it's a good job you're only diabetic and not asthmatic ;-) I would certainly be interested in seeing this children's story that you're going to write, need a proofreader?
ReplyDeleteI really liked "dark, secret rooms within" and "emptiness where breath of life should be" from the piece today. The whole thing seems somehow poetic.
As for mine... I'm going to cheat a little I suppose, since I wrote this a while back, but it seems perfect for both the prompt and the thoughts that your piece have inspired: Waterbaby.
Greg - if I also had asthma I don't think I could be friends with him :P
ReplyDeleteI imagine that with all the alcohol involved with this story we will need at *least* one proofreader!
Cheating is allowed on occasion. And is most definitely permitted when it involves a piece of writing of such high quality that I had not seen before.
Not sure I can pick a favorite part, but I'm leaning toward that opening paragraph.
As I walked into my classroom I am breathless with fear and shock. My class was not there. There was a note on my desk. It read: 'Leave now and we will definitely not eat your classes brains, except that really dumb boy his brain is no longer needed and i don't think that he uses he uses it that much'. I started to hyperventilate, the classroom became stifling, I couldn't breathe. The last part of the note read: 'from.....THE ZOMBIEZ!!!!' . Am I in a dream I don't know but if it is I probably would have woken up by now.....
ReplyDeletePapple - hah, great take on the prompt :)
ReplyDeleteThat would be a very disturbing dream to have, though it would be a whole lot better than actually living through it for real!