The exercise:
Write two haiku about: conversations.
Today I present the haiku I wrote yesterday while I was under the impression that yesterday was today.
Indeed.
Mine:
His motormouth leaves
me with no hope to escape
this conversation.
* * *
Words drift between us,
delivered via secret
butterfly mailmen.
5 comments:
Well (continuing from yesterday's comments), I know what you mean about not letting people read stuff while you're still writing it. I always find it makes me feel like it's finished and I stop working on it.
I like your second haiku better today as it's a beautiful image. That, and I know too many people who would fit your first haiku nicely!
Conversations
I let his mum talk
Because he won't. Alzheimer's
makes her words seem strange.
-------
Aged two, he don't know
It's not a competition
To say your words first
[Sorry about the poor grammar in the last one, but I couldn't make the sentiment fit otherwise!]
Your 2nd one made me smile, Marc.
------------
I speak, you speak, a
conversation illusion
Of taking our turns.
It's very clear, sir
He wouldn't let me converse,
So I killed him.
Sorry for being so absent, but work is kicking my butt. I'm now the only one in my department (when we used to have 3) It’s not bad, I just have to get used to not having as much free time at work, which equals less time to read and post to blogs.
Anyway I’ll do some NaNo Prepping with my Haiku, which means you get three, one for each character.
Conversations
Lori
Soft spoken questions
Not expecting to be heard
She’s the lower class
Travis
Authoritative
Words compensating for skill
He is the crown prince
Andrew
Double entandra*
Always trying to impress
He lives for the girls
(So sorry for not knowing how to spell that word that means double meaning...)
P.S. @Greg, it doesn't stop at two, and volume control is out of whack - when you need to hear them they are so soft and then when you'd rather they weren't they are super loud! *grins*
Marc, I'll be joining Cathryn Leigh in NaNo land, so this will probably be my last contribution for a while. Of course, one of your prompts may stimulate a chapter or two. One of them has already given me the title for this year's novel.
Conversations
Sun sets, moon rises
Opposite ends, arguing
Two weeks: reconciled
Whispers in the dark
Quickly hushed squeals, sweet gossip
“Okay, girls! Bedtime!”
Greg - I'm just rarely happy with the first draft of anything I write and prefer to keep it to myself until I'm reasonably pleased with it.
I think the phrasing works well, considering the subject matter. But I can understand, that would bother me too :D
Morganna - thanks!
And I probably shouldn't admit this, but I've totally imagined, on more than one occasion, having that conversation in your second haiku :P
Cathryn - glad you're hanging in there! I hope things calm down for you at work soon.
And best of luck with this year's NaNo - keep us updated on how things go!
I think, based on these haiku, I like Lori best :)
The spelling you're looking for is entendre, by the way.
Aholiab - and best of luck to you this November as well! Now you've got me curious, which prompt lead to what title?
Enjoyed the imagery in both of your haiku, perhaps the first one slightly more than the second. But only slightly :)
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