The exercise:
Write something that has to do with: eyes.
Finished mulching the third row of strawberries this morning, then moved on to the next section. Did a bit of spot weeding here and there and put some mulch in as well. Going to do my best to get the remaining three rows done as quickly as possible, as those berries are starting to turn red already.
And, you know, there's other stuff to get done around here besides strawberries.
Mine:
He watches as they pass,
So unaware
Of his glare.
Walking here,
Running there,
So unaware
Of his glare
As he watches.
Yes, he watches.
Twin hidden holes
Are just right
For his height.
All day and all night,
All are within his sight,
For his height
Is just right
For those twin hidden holes -
His twin hidden holes.
His rage is unchecked
Toward all in his view.
Him, him, and her too.
Yes, it's true,
Even you,
If you too
Have come into his view
And felt the heat from his rage,
His unchecked rage.
3 comments:
I've just had notification that our tennis feed provider will be getting the rights to the Wimbledon feed this year, so your strawberry comments are very timely indeed! If they're ripening now you're going to be torn between eating them and selling them! It sounds like you're going to be busy for another week or so....
I really like the repetition that you use in your poem; it seems like the kind of thing that's aching to be spoken and performed on stage, perhaps with the poet miming peering through the eye-holes and expressing the rage. It's a really evocative, emotive piece. Bravo!
Eyes
Cyril was onstage, standing in a spotlight in front of a microphone. Catto was standing a few feet away, a large canvas bag at her feet and a wicked smile on her face. A sign, a white board with Partners in Rhymes written in Comic Sans on it, was propped at the front of the stage, and several people in the first three rows were showing signs of font-rage.
"On the battlements above Troy,
Where Cassiopeia stood, ignored
By Agamemnon and his generals,
She found the walls have eyes," intoned Cyril. His deep, basso profundo, voice reverberated in the room and the audience were spell-bound.
"And yet it's still the case!" said Catto, pulling spraycans from the bag at her feet. Each can was bright red and labelled with the number 5.
"Where'er authority lies
Security cameras spy,
Stealng pictures of your pretty, pretty face!"
She stepped lightly down from the stage and swiftly quartered the room, spraying paint onto the lenses of all the security cameras. The audience started clapping, then it faltered as they wondered if this was actually part of the act.
"The soldiers raised their weapons,
Which glinted bronzely in the sunlight.
Armour shielded breast and thighs,
And reflections dazzled eyes," said Cyril, as Catto danced among the audience spraying them with Mace.
"It's time to start a collection to show your appreciation for the show," said Catto, raising her voice above the coughing and crying. "Please give generously!"
Wow, Marc. That is some poem. I am absolutely speechless right now! I feel like it could be some quirky children's rhyme or even the haunting opening to a horror movie.
And Greg. Again, wow. That is really quite a scene and you describe it so beautifully. It's so creepy.
Eyes:
I can see the universe
Within the depths of your eyes.
The swirl of green and brown
Are cosmic clouds of creation,
Building stars and planets;
Your very own Pillars.
Those orbs are the stuff of dreams;
The driving force behind further reachings,
And teachings of song and tale. Those orbs keep
Souls up at all hours of the night, praying
For just one glimpse of that beauty.
Those orbs have a light so strong and bright
That every soul on earth wishes to wish
Upon them.
And I am lucky,
For I have been blessed
With the gift of looking
Upon the final frontier
For all of eternity.
Greg - it's nice when the first pick, as this one was, is so small that the only option is to eat them :)
And thanks for the kind words on mine, they are much appreciated.
Ah, I do enjoy reading about these two and their capers. Always a pleasure to see them drop by for a visit!
Ivy - thank you! :)
Yours is a treat to read as well. I like the way it seems to build momentum as it goes, and how you wrap things up so neatly in your final five lines.
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