The exercise:
Write two haiku about: the mouse.
Kat's come down with a cold of the energy sapping variety, which meant she wasn't up for taking Max to swimming lessons this afternoon.
Which meant he wasn't interested in going to swimming lessons.
Sigh. Maybe next week.
I feel like I'm fighting something off as well, but I plan on not allowing it to get the better of me through sheer stubbornness. Can't see any potential issues with that.
Mine:
He tiptoes around
the library, looking for
safety in a book
* * *
Strolling through his parks
on two legs - how is this not
a nightmare for kids?
Twitchy whiskers
ReplyDeleteSharp black eyes in a grey face
Searching for some cheese
Trap snaps shut, ending
Little mouse's life in a
Heap on the cold floor.
@Morganna: I like the contrast between your two haiku: one slightly hopeful and the other bleak, and how the first leads into the second as a tale of a short life. For that reason I'm calling it a draw between them today :)
ReplyDelete@Marc: Well, learning to swim isn't time-critical I suppose, but I get a faint sense of frustration from you :) I admire your stubbornness though; never give in, and never surrender!
I really like how neither haiku initially appears to about a mouse, and then when you re-read it it all falls into place. Very clever! It's a tough choice to be honest, but I finally decided the second haiku has managed to layer more meaning and subtlety into it, so that's my favourite this week.
The mouse
Mus musculus is
Under the couch, keeping quiet.
Ready to scare you.
Ice mice in the fridge,
Nesting next to the butter,
Eating all the cheese.
Morganna - these haiku will not make me feel bad about killing mice. These haiku will not make me feel bad about killing mice. These haiku... are making me feel a *little* bad about killing mice.
ReplyDeleteNice work :)
Greg - if it's only faint then I'm doing a better job of holding it in than I though :P
Thanks for the kind words on mine :)
Ice mice. In the fridge. Eating the fridge cheese. I do not care to live in a world where such things exist.
The mouse sneaks in the
ReplyDeletecoop at night, slips by chickens,
stealing their lettuce.