The exercise:
Write about: the misnomer.
Beautiful, sunny yet cool morning. Really pleasant walking around collecting not a lot of litter.
This afternoon dark clouds came blowing in and things were not quite so nice out there.
I guess it's that time of year.
Happy to have reached my third to last weekend with this job.
Mine:
"Sir? Can you please sit down? The folks behind you can't see."
"Lucky them."
"Sir. I don't appreciate that. At all. I've worked very hard on this presentation."
"Doesn't show though, does it? I mean, come on guys, I can't be alone on this one."
"I believe that you are. And I invite you to leave so that everyone else may enjoy this information session without interruption."
"Enjoy, Mr. Aldim? I see you're aiming high. I suppose there's something to be admired about that."
"Please leave, sir. I beg of you."
"No need to beg, Mr. Aldim - I was just going anyway. Forgot my cigarettes in my room. Penthouse suite, by the way. In case any of the ladies in attendance were wondering."
"This is highly ina-"
"I mean, other than you two. You ladies were very definitely wondering."
"Monsieur Henri, get -"
"Oh, please don't call me that. You sound like you've got a mouthful of worms when you sat it like that."
"Out! Get Out!"
"I just said I was leaving! Weren't you listening, Mr. Aldim?"
"And that is not my name!"
"It's not?"
"It's Mr. Albright and you know it!"
"Yes, well, from what I've seen and heard tonight, that is very definitely a misnomer..."
I quite like the sound of your afternoon myself, but I like rain and thunderstorms and don't even mind getting caught outside in them (unless I have to be somewhere where being soaked is inappropriate... but luckily that doesn't happen too much!). I'd offer to swap jobs when that happens, but I'm sure you'd hate going back to an office job more than the lack of sunshine :)
ReplyDeleteIt is very, very pleasant to have Henri back, though we may be the only two people on the planet to think that. I like his coarse attitude, his approach to everyone in the room, his renaming of the presenter - I like all of it! Bravo :) I especially like his first responses to being asked to sit down... oh how I've longed to be that open with people.
Misnomer
ReplyDeleteMiss Nomer was the teacher for the Divination classes and she and Hermione had been eyeing each other up like newly introduced cats since the start of term. Instead of being a scatty-brained wild-haired witch in a grey, shapeless cardigan with a crystal ball and too many teacups, as Hermione had dolefully predicted, Miss Nomer was power-dressed in a scarlet three-piece suit. Her hair was pulled severely back and tied in a bun with what looked like a dragon's wing-bone, and she wore tiny circular glasses whose lenses seemed to reflect light back at anyone who tried to see her eyes. Instead of asking the class to read the tea-leaves in their first lesson ("and since when did tea start getting all the important messages about the future?" snarled Hermione after reading about it in the text-book) Miss Nomer had them all write a five page essay on how they would go about ensuring a specific future for a client.
Hermione had received an "Excellent" grade but was given six things to look up where she could make easy improvements. Ronnie Weasel had received a "Barely passing" grade and a note that his ambitions to be a gigolo were probably a result of magical tampering with his thesaurus, and Harry Potter had been given a strange look and a private meeting with Miss Nomer.
"Today," said Miss Nomer, her tone arch and pitched so that the wine-glasses on each table started humming as they resonated, "we shall study the crystal ball."
"Flux urinorum," muttered Hermione, and a splash of yellow liquid was added to the other glasses on the table, shifting their resonant frequency and calming the hum. "I knew she was a fraud!"
"The crystal ball does not show anyone the future," said Miss Nomer. Two girls at the back sighed. "It provides a focus for the witch or wizard using it and enables them to catch spells around the client with less chance of detection. A future can then be determined for the client, by the use of suitable spells. For example, a simple love charm woven with some random elements can ensure that 'you will find love today' will come true, even if the client finds love with a dog, a fire hydrant or a stick insect. A minor curse can ensure that 'a black cat will cross your path and you will have bad luck' comes to pass. And for those of you feeling generous, an hour-long binding of Mingenot's Money Magnet will ensure that the client feels that they truly are destined for riches. For the next hour then, class, you are to practice binding minor spells on the members of your group. Go!" She turned away and sat at her desk, a copy of the Wall Street Journal in front of her.
"Whose going first?" asked Ronnie Weasel. Harry smiled sleepily and waved a sock-covered hand at Demeaned Thomas. "He can," he said.
"Oh Harry," said Ronnie. "You've put your socks on your hands again. What's on your feet? Oh Ba'al, I told you not to take Hermione's slippers!"
"Doesn't matter," said Hermione. The crystal ball in the middle of their table glowed white and gave off a lot of heat. "There, done."
"What have you done?" Ronnie crouched.
"There might be some wizard police turning up this afternoon," said Hermione sweetly. "Looking for... people to arrest I suppose. I predict that you're all going to find out about the wizard prison before the end of the week. Send me a postcard!"
Greg - yes, I'm not sure anyone else would be happy to see Henri return :)
ReplyDeleteAh, and a return to your world of Harry Potter. Somehow I've wound up feeling sorry for most everyone involved, yet again. You're terribly good at this, you know :D