Monday September 26th, 2016

The exercise:

Our writing today shall revolve around this question: are you listening?

I don't think I could ever coach toddler soccer classes. I learned that today, if nothing else.

The community center called the other night to let me know that they didn't have enough kids signed up to make two separate classes, so they were combining the two into one. This was disappointing news, as Max and I quite liked having a smaller class (there were six total in his class last week).

But they were all together this week. Which, for the record, is a much better option that just cancelling them both. But it was more like twelve kids. And I'd say about a third of them were borderline incapable of listening to what the coach was telling them.

Yes, I know they're toddlers. But... goodness me. Plus: they really feed off each other, so when one or two start acting out at least three more follow their lead.

Chaos.

Pure chaos.

Anyway. Max still managed to have fun.

I needed a coffee afterward.

Mine:

I will transform these kids. My years of experience and knowledge will spread over and enshroud them like a warm blanket on a winter's day. My techniques and skill will be bestowed upon them. They just need to be willing to put in the work.

"Coach?"

My awards await me. Coach of the Year? That was mine before I got out of bed this morning. I'm gunning for Coach of the Century. Greatest Coach Ever is not beyond my grasp. I just have to get them to listen to me and to do as I say. The rest will follow as it should.

"Coach? Emily asked for a bathroom break twenty minutes ago."

They should count themselves lucky. There are toddlers out there who would kill to be in this class, learning at my feet. Most of them are in jail though. Sadly.

"Hey! Would someone tell the janitor to get in here with a mop?!"

I should demand a raise. Clearly, I deserve one.