Sunday January 24th, 2016

The exercise:

Write about: the hypnotist.

The weather is gradually warming up around these parts. Max has taken full notice, now that almost all of the snow has melted away.

This morning he was determined to get outside and play in the yard, whether I was ready to get out of bed or not. He insisted that I get some of his outdoor toys out of the basement so that we could play together. I brought up a couple of his tools, some trucks, and a ball.

Surprisingly, the ball was pretty much completely ignored. The tools required new batteries, so while I was busy with that he got right into building things and digging in the dirt with his trucks.

I'll just be over here, pretending that it is spring now. Please don't bother me.

Mine:

Relax. Just relax. That is all that you need to do, right now. Relax.

I'm sitting in the back row of the packed auditorium, reading the words of the famous Dr. Franklin. World renowned hypnotist, as his poster proclaims. Dirty rotten conman, as I know him.

Allow the world outside to melt away. Watch as your worries and conflicts and cares are washed away. Relax. You have nothing to worry about. Nothing at all. Relax.

Nothing outside of this room, maybe. Just you inside of it, you bastard.

Listen to my voice. Listen to my words. Listen to me.

Fat chance. I've got earplugs in both ears. Your voodoo hoodoo crap isn't getting into my brain that way. I'm also wearing shaded glasses (I designed them myself, thank you very much) that have muted all the colours in the room to white and grey. Just in case he's using flashes of colour in his act, or some kind of hypnotic wheel, or... whatever.

Also? Because it's picking up the audio (his audio, since he's the only one in here talking), transcribing it, and scrolling it across the lenses. This way I can follow along without being affected. I'm the only one in here immune to this shyster and I'm going to take him down.

Now. Slowly, slowly, gentlemen... take out your wallets. Slowly, slowly, ladies... pick up your purses. Take out all of your cash and hold the bills above your heads. I will now move, slowly, slowly, around the room and collect your donations. You are donating to my cause. So generous of you. So kind.

So not happening. You're not getting me like you got my dad. You're busted, you piece of... why is my wallet in my hand?