Wednesday July 13th, 2016

The exercise:

Write something that has to do with: the suggestion box.

There were about a dozen people lined up at the door of the bakery at opening this morning. Things were pretty steadily hectic for the first hour or so and then settled down for the remainder of my time there. Actually was able to leave at noon, instead of working until one like I did last week.

Hoping for more of the same tomorrow, as I've oh so wisely accepted an evening shift at the community centre on top of my bakery duties. So I'll likely be doing 8 to 12 at the bakery and then 4 to 8 at the community centre.

I'm sure that will end up being a good idea. Maybe I can tell Max I'm working on the moon as well, just to make sure he thinks that I work everywhere.

Mine:

Needs more salt.

"What does?"

"Everything, probably. Bloody peasants."

"Trash it. Next."

Waitresses should put their phone numbers on the bill.

"Is that written in spilled cologne? Trash it."

Portion sizes need to be bigger. Especially dessert. Especially the cheesecake.

"I can smell the obesity from here. Trash it."

The music is too loud.

"Tell Granny to take out her hearing aid. Toss it. Next?"

The music is too quiet.

"Of course. Bin it."

Waitresses should address customers with more compliments. Like 'Good evening hot stuff', or 'Has anyone ever told you that you look like Brad Pitt?', or 'Hubba hubba, lucky me!', or 'Would y-"

"Good. God. This is the worst idea ever."

"Shall I take the suggestion box outside and drop a match in it?"

"That's the best idea I've heard all day."