Friday February 24th, 2017

The exercise:

Write four lines of prose about: the crocodile.

Sold the last loaf of bread around 2 o'clock today. Locked the doors to finish up the cleaning at 2:30, with only a couple of ciabatta buns and some butter tarts and macaroons left in the shop.

Business appears to be picking up. We shall see what tomorrow holds.

I'm sure the sunshine and above zero temperatures are helping. I get the impression that the town in general is busier these days, with more people out and about.

We're all slowly emerging from our winter hibernation, I suppose.


It will happen one day. It will happen, just as you say. Will you be pleased, or will your skin turn gray?

For when you see this crocodile in a while, you'll see me with a big, big smile.

Thursday February 23rd, 2017

The exercise:

Write about something or someone that is: unwelcome.

Sold the last loaf of bread shortly after noon today. Stayed open until 2:30 and managed to sell everything else but the last baguette and a handful of macaroons. Took the baguette home, left the cookies to sell tomorrow.

Things are very hard to predict this time of year. I have no idea why we had so many more customers today compared to yesterday. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?

Weather was nice enough for Kat to take the boys to the park this afternoon. Still cold enough that they couldn't stay all that long, but it's progress in the right direction (spring, in other words).


"That's not how I would do it."

"You should really be doing it like this."

"Why don't you do it this way? This way would be so much better."

"I'd like it if you did it this way instead."

I get it. I hear you.

I hear what you're really saying.

Make this more convenient for me.

Well guess what?

It's all unwelcome.

Your thoughts.

Your opinion.


So just go ahead and take you and your business elsewhere.

It won't be missed.

And neither will you.

Wednesday February 22nd, 2017

The exercise:

Write about something or someone that is: on standby.

Bakery was mostly steady today, but I was left with 14 loaves on the shelves as closing time approached. Then a woman called at 3:50 asking if I had any bread left. I said yes and that I'd be there until 4:30 cleaning up, so as long as she could get there by then I'd hold some for her. She said she could and asked for 3 loaves.

She got there at 4:05 and brought a friend with her. Who bought 4 loaves herself.

So they managed to halve the number of loaves I had to put in the freezer at pretty much the last possible moment. I was pleased by this, even if it meant staying later because I was selling and slicing bread instead of finishing the clean up.

Back at it at 10 tomorrow morning.


"All operatives remain on standby. This situation could go haywire at any moment. Over."

"This really seems like a highly inappropriate use of resources. Over."

"I ordered radio silence, Gonzalez!"

"Oh, you mean other than you breaking it every five minutes to remind us that we're still on standby? Over."

"This is insubordination, Gonzalez. Resume radio silence immediately. Over."

"This is the most ridiculous assignment I have ever been on."

"Radio. Silence. Now. Over."

"With all due respect, sir, you're the only one who cares what your ex-wife is up to. Or who she might be getting up to it with. So I don't know what the rest of the unit is going to do, but I'm going home now. Please don't call me until you've got a more legitimate assignment for me, okay? Over."


"Good night, sir. Over."

Tuesday February 21st, 2017

The exercise:

Write two haiku about: the pill.

Finally had some time to get back to my writing project this morning. Didn't get all that far, but hopefully it was a step toward getting some momentum back with it.

Also chopped wood (hopefully for the week), did laundry, and got into town this afternoon to get more sinus medication to help me get through the week at the bakery.

Pretty productive day, all in all.


Do it now. Do it
faster. Do it better. Do-
Duuuude. Take a chill pill.

*     *     *

Sleeping pills. Pepto.
Drugs for stress. Booze. Messages
in bottles abound.

Monday February 20th, 2017

The exercise:

Write a: follow-up.

For some reason The Crossing has been on my mind recently, so I'll be following-up with the gang to see what they're up to after their three day adventure back in late May of 2015. Please don't feel like you need to go that far back as well - any follow-up will do just fine.

I was feeling better yesterday, so I stopped taking my sinus medication. It felt like I was regressing today, so now I'm back on the pills.

I won't bother telling you how much this displeases me, as I think you've got the idea by now.


"We are long past your promised two days, Mongrel," Famine called from the rear of the group. They were on a narrow trail through a thickly wooded forest, riding their horses in single file. "I am beginning to fear that you may have lost the scent of our prey."

There was a lengthy delay before War responded. The others suspected that he was struggling to contain his legendary temper.

"Then worry not, Fame," War said at last. "They are simply moving faster than I could have predicted. I believe that they are going without sleep, running both day and night."

"That seems... unsustainable," Death observed.

"Not for us," Pestilence added with the ghost of a laugh.

"Exactly, Pest," War said. "Exactly."

The four horsemen rode on in silence, bored eyes scanning the trees for signs of anything remotely interesting. The pursuit had lasted much longer than any of them had expected when their assignment had begun and they were growing eager to return home.

"Perhaps we should stop for a rest," Death suggested, taking the others completely off guard. "So that we are refreshed and ready for the confrontation when it finally comes."

"Are you feeling okay?" Famine asked before shaking his head as though trying to clear away a fog. "You know what I mean, Dee."

"This voyage continues to get stranger and stranger," Pestilence added, sounding untypically puzzled.

"There's a clearing up ahead," War called back. "Let us stop there for a few moments to gather ourselves." He rode on for a few more steps before adding under his breath, "Before we completely fall apart..."

Sunday February 19th, 2017

The exercise:

Write something which takes place on: the submarine.

Took it pretty easy today. Did get out for a family walk by the lake late morning, but otherwise not a whole lot was accomplished.

I'm good with that.


"Ohhhhh, we all live in a ye-"

"Shhhh! What are you doing?! You know Captain Reynolds hates that song! He caught Jeremy singing it the other day and nearly used him as a torpedo!"

"Yeah, but it's true now."

"What's true?"

"We live in a yellow submarine."

"You've lost your mind. Too long at sea, right? Does it every time."

"No, I'm serious! The sub is really yellow now."

"What? How?"

"You know the last time we got work done in the dry dock? A bunch of us pooled our money together to get the maintenance guys to put a yellow coat on under the black top coat."

"Oh, so it's hidden... that's wise. I guess. I mean, it's a total waste of money for the sake of a stupid joke bu-"

"It's not a stupid joke. And it wasn't a waste. Because we also got them to use a special paint for the top coat that gradually dissolves in salt water."

"Wait... so you can see the yellow now? Captain Reynolds is going to kill you guys!"

"No big deal. He won't know until we reach port."

"And what then?"

"I dunno... I plan on being far, far away before he goes topside."

Saturday February 18th, 2017

The exercise:

Write a four line poem about something that is: bewildering.

The bakery was nuts this morning. I think we'd sold all of the loaves by 11, which is summer style nonsense. We had no idea what was going on.

Eventually one of our customers mentioned that it's a long weekend in Alberta and it all started to make some sense, as Osoyoos tends to get flooded with visitors whenever our neighbouring province has some time off.

I didn't end up closing early, as there were still lots of cinnamon buns left, but at least the afternoon was calmer. Aside from the late arrivals disappointed with the lack of bread.

Looking forward to my weekend.


It's all so baffling and dizzying -
I am bathed in wonderment!
Isn't it just mind-boggling that I
Was elected president?