Monday July 31st, 2017

The exercise:

Write something that takes place in: the flower shop.

Pretty good first day back at work. Other than the smoke that arrived around 9 this morning and hung around for the rest of the day. More wildfire smoke from south of the border, apparently.

Today is my seventh wedding anniversary, so I grabbed some flowers for my lovely wife on the way home from work. Going to try to have a proper date with Kat during my next set of days off.

It's going to be a hot week. Not thrilled about that, but at least I'll have air conditioned offices to clean every day. I walked into Town Hall this afternoon and was like... yeah, I'm just going to stand here for a minute and enjoy this.


"I need a bouquet of flowers, fast."

"What's the occasion?"

"What? What does it matter?"

"Well, we carry different arrangements for different circumstances. You know, birthdays, anniversaries, promotions, funerals. That sort of thing."

"Don't care. Just pick one and I'll take it. Quickly, please."

"I'm... I can't... I'm not really comfortable with that! What if it's completely inappropriate?"

"That's not your concern! Come on, man! Flowers! Pronto!"

"Fine, fine. I just don't understand why you can't tell me what they're for..."

"You really want to know?"

"... have I not made that clear?"

"Fine. Just remember that you asked for it."

"I'd say I very nearly demanded it!"

"They're for my girlfriend..."

"Aw, that's sweet!"

"... to apologize for getting her mother pregnant."

Sunday July 30th, 2017

The exercise:

Write about: a break from technology.

Camping was generally good. Did a beautiful hike to a waterfall, swam in the lake, ate good food, and... had a horrible night's sleep.

So, you know, camping.



After dinner last night Papa took Max and Natalie (who ended up staying the night, sharing a tent with Max and Papa) down to the lake to do some fishing. He said they'd go for about 45 minutes (which I knew wasn't going to be accurate with those two).

When it started getting dark I took out my phone to check the time and... hmm. Blank grey and black screen. Couldn't get past it. Couldn't turn it off. Ended up setting it aside overnight and by the time I got up this morning the battery was dead.

Great. It's been showing signs that it's nearing the end of its life but this was definitely the most dramatic yet.

This morning Max and Natalie were riding their bikes around the road that goes through the campsites and Miles was chasing after them. I thought I'd get a couple pictures with my camera. Took one. Took another. Wanted to have a look at the second, so I hit the display button and... nothing. Well, not nothing. It said busy. For a very long time.

So I shut it off. Tried turning it back on again. Couldn't view the picture, couldn't take any more pictures.


The good news is that after we got home I got both of them working again. Charged my phone and got it mostly working (had to power it off and then on again in order to get the timer/alarm/ringer sounds to work again... which is not at all worrying for tomorrow morning). I don't trust it anymore though so I'll be going to purchase a new phone on my next day off.

I also charged the battery on my camera (which wasn't dead but I didn't know what else to do). When I put it back in the photo I was trying to look at this morning showed up as a corrupted file. Deleted it and everything seems to be fine now. Kinda forced to trust it as I'm not going to be buying another camera again anytime soon.

Anyway. If someone had asked me if I was looking forward to taking a break from technology this weekend I would have said yes.

... and this would not have been what I meant at all.

Saturday July 29th, 2017

The exercise:

Write a four line poem about: the camping trip.

Writing this after we got back makes this a bit odd to write. But let us pretend for a few moments that I wrote this before I left, okay?

Spent last night packing up most of the things we'll need for our one night stay. I don't think it would take much more stuff to stay for a week, but here we are.

Kat and I will be driving up with Miles while Max is catching a ride with Papa. Becky, Adam, Natalie, and Emerysn will be meeting us there.

Here's hoping for a good day (and a bit).

Okay, done pretending now. Will get Sunday's post written and posted as soon as I can.


We went out to the woods today,
To see what we could see.
We found dragonflies, clear blue skies,
And a clear thought or three...

Friday July 28th, 2017

The exercise:

Write four lines of prose about: ready, set, go.

All right, finally caught up with posting again. And I can say with complete confidence that... tomorrow's post will be going up a day late.

Because tomorrow night we'll be camping at Conkle Lake.

Adam, Becky, and their girls will be joining us for the day before heading home for the night, and Kat's dad will be camping overnight with us.

Should be fun. Fingers crossed, anyway.


We're at the starting line now, all lined up nice and neat. Everyone is ready to race, but they all know I'm the one to beat. The audience is out of their seats and are in for a treat.

Hey, Charlie's running already... that sneaky little cheat!

Thursday July 27th, 2017

The exercise:

Write about: the no-show.

Picked blackberries for local orders this morning. We managed to get 41 pints, which is pretty good. We had orders for 43 though, so not quite good enough. Kat did get a pint of raspberry to make up for one customer being shorted, and the other customer ended up getting extra peaches to make up for it anyway.

Not exactly a restful day, but part of me appreciated getting to be out on the farm doing a different sort of work.

And the rest of me just wanted to nap.


No-shows are my least favorite part of doing local orders. By. Far.

On our first one this year, the last customer to show up arrived at 5pm. I waited until 6pm for the final customer to arrive and... he never did.

On our second one the last customer came at 5:30, which left me waiting for another half hour for... someone who never came.

Today, on my insistence, we shortened the pickup window from 4-6 to 4-5:30. If I'd fully had my way, it would've been 4:30-5:30, but whatever.

I didn't notice when the last customer arrived, but it doesn't really matter. Because this time there were *two* different customers who never came to collect the produce they had ordered.

Produce that we had taken the time to pick and prepare for them. And now have to spend time making additional arrangements for them to get.

Or, you know, forget them and their order and never take orders from people who no-show on us (without good reason) ever again.

I will let you guess which option I currently prefer.

Wednesday July 26th, 2017

The exercise:

Write about: litter.

Very busy in town today - had to drive by Lions Park three times before I could find a parking spot so that I could restock the washroom this afternoon. Happy to be taking a break from all the traffic for the next four days.

Sorry for all the late postings. Sleepiness combined with lack of inspiration.

Hoping to get back to catching up on comments tomorrow.

Edit: sigh, never mind.


What's that lurking in the shade of that maple tree? Ah, just another kiss between you and me. I remember how young I felt then, how happy and free.

And this piece of paper, crumpled up in the grass? Just one of many love notes I wrote for you in class. No wonder it took three tries at History for me to pass.

Look, over there - two empty bottles of wine. One was yours and one was mine. I can still feel the tingle that ran down my spine as we crossed a line that no one had bothered to define.

Not for me at least. But then I was never very good at listening to my priest.

Memories of us litter the landscape of my dreams. All the whispers, all the stutters, all the screams. But nothing here is really as it seems.

For you are not here, just what you left behind. Trust me, I've looked all over the hills and valleys and forests and beaches of my mind. Just bits and pieces scattered about, fragments that only serve to remind me of ties that no longer bind.

Tuesday July 25th, 2017

The exercise:

Write two haiku about: the lifeguard.

Had a brief visit with a high school friend who was passing through Osoyoos today. Wonderful to see her and her daughter (who is about a year older than Max) again, and it's always a treat to share our produce (in this case, blackberries, apricots, and peaches) with an old friend.

One more day until my weekend.

During which there will be much hiding in the shade.


I watch people swim
and, sometimes, drown - I'm not a
very good lifeguard

*     *     *

I get bored some days.
That's when I like to yell 'Shark!'
and watch them scatter...

Monday July 24th, 2017

The exercise:

Write about: passing through.

Another day in the books as summer keeps on keeping on.

Now down to only five more Town Hall cleans before the end of my contract. Not that I'm counting or anything...


Time's gone by
In a big hurry
It seems,
While you've been
Out there just chasing
Your dreams.

Dad's dying
And our Mama is
Long gone;
Who knows if
I'll get to see one
More dawn.

But you're here
And it's so good to
See you,
Even though
You say you're just
Passing through...

Sunday July 23rd, 2017

The exercise:

Slightly earlier in the month than in June, we return to The Dream Kingdom today.

And chaos ensues...

Work was good today. Hot but good. Big wind blowing tonight should mean cooler temperatures tomorrow.



"Dylan!" Olivia shrieked.

"Hold on!" Josh yelled.

"Help me!" Dylan screamed.

"Everyone calm down!" Nystor shouted.

"Grab my hand!" Josh said as he reached for Dylan from the opposite side of the carpet. But just as their fingertips brushed another transformation took hold, sending Dylan wailing out of reach. "Damn it, Olivia! Hold this thing together!"

"I'm doing my b-"

"No." Nystor's voice brought with it a momentary calm, as if through the force of his will alone - or perhaps it was the strength of his imagination. "Olivia, focus on flying. The carpet will hold on its own - in some form or another. Just get us down safely."

"Which island should I aim for?"

"The nearest, child. Don't overthink this. The power of the meteor shards is greater than I expected at this distance. Put everything you have into landing this thing and then we shall go from there."

"You okay dude?" Josh asked, his hands having returned to his sides where they were gripping the carpet. Hard.

"I'm all right," Dylan replied. "Just trying to imagine having really strong ar-aaaahhhh!"

The carpet had morphed once more, but this time the edges had gone from a soft fringe to razor sharp spikes. Dylan let go, a trail of blood tracing his descent.

"Nooo!" Olivia screamed.

"Dylan - parachute!" Josh shouted.

"Focus, child!" Nystor said sternly. "Focus on f-"

"Hold on!" Olivia yelled. "I've lost control... we're going down!"

The carpet dipped, soared, dipped again. It briefly leveled off before entering a steep nosedive. Nystor began muttering a spell but only moments later they crash landed in a grove of towering trees.

Saturday July 22nd, 2017

The exercise:

Write a four line poem about: hiking in the mountains.

Took the family for a drive up Mount Kobau this morning. Bumpy gravel road for the last twenty or thirty minutes, but totally worth it once we got to the parking lot near the top. From there we did a 3 km loop trail that took us to a lookout and through fields of wildflowers and butterflies.

Absolutely beautiful up there.

Miles rode on Kat's back for the whole hike (other than a brief escape at the lookout for a water and snack break) and Max hiked the whole thing himself. Here's a shot of the boys at the lookout:

Hoping my legs will feel okay at work tomorrow after all the ups and downs of the trail.


Butterflies drift
Through pine-scented air,
While wildflowers
Help distract the bears...

Friday July 21st, 2017

The exercise:

Write four lines of prose which take place on: the construction site.

Good day with the boys. Miles had a rough sleep last night, so he napped early, and while he did that I took Max for a walk around Haynes Point. Haven't been out there for a while and we both enjoyed it.

After we got back everybody had a late lunch (because Miles and Kat had just woken up) and then I took the boys for a wander around the farm. Ended up at Natalie's house for a bit, then Kat's parents.

Had a yummy slow cooker meal for dinner (beef stew) and now the boys are asleep and Kat is over at her brother's house for a visit.

And I am once again working on the comment backlog...


Whenever the question was bellowed by the foreman, the entire site seemed to fall deathly silent. Everyone knew what the words meant as they echoed and echoed and echoed. It was a tool to be used not on steel or concrete, but on human flesh and bone.

"Where's my damned sledgehammer?"

Thursday July 20th, 2017

The exercise:

Write a country acrostic. Any country you like.

I will not make any comments about how impressed I would be by anyone who managed The Democratic Republic of the Congo, because that would be mean and I wouldn't want anyone to feel obligated to do it just because I mentioned it here.

So. Moving on.

Delivered apricots to the bakery with the boys this morning before taking them to the park. At one point Miles (who is walking now, by the way - pretty sure I haven't mentioned that yet!) just got up and wandered off on his own, about halfway across the park. Me and Max just watched him go since there's a fence that runs all the way around it.

We had to go get him eventually though.

Because he was not coming back on his own.


Ruining the trust of the
United States in their
Supposedly strong democracy.
Secrets spilled by an
Idiot's idiot son
And yet... still stands his presidency.

Wednesday July 19th, 2017

The exercise:

Write about: the trajectory.

Had some time to rest and catch up on comments this morning before taking over with the kids for the afternoon. Natalie came over to play with Max (and Miles) for a bit, which was a nice break for me as well.

Got the boys for most of the day tomorrow, so I best get some sleep.


I was a rising star in this company, once. They said I seemed destined for the top and I believed them. Why wouldn't I? They already held the riches and power I desired. Their wisdom came from experience and lives of luxury.

So I sacrificed. I put in the extra hours, I skipped holidays and birthdays and weekends. Gave up friends who were more distraction than motivation. It would all be worth it in the end - that's what I kept telling myself. Every morning and every night.

But then something... happened. Things took a turn. I'm not sure when, exactly. I have no idea how. But suddenly I was no longer the favored son. I was not the heir apparent. Doors no longer opened at my approach.

Sometimes... sometimes they were slammed shut.

I do not understand the how or the why or the when. But I do know the who.

Elliot Gordon.

He's getting the special treatment now. They're grooming him, stroking his ego. Telling him the same lies they told me.

Because he is the new me.

I wonder if there was a me before me, as it were. That seems rather likely, now that I think about it. I wonder what became of him? Or her, I suppose. Doesn't seem likely in this company, but I guess you can never be too sure of anything around here.

I've learned that lesson, all right.

Just a bit too late in the game to do anything about it.

... or is it?

Tuesday July 18th, 2017

The exercise:

Write two haiku about: the traffic jam.

While today didn't go exactly to plan at work, it still ended up being a reasonably good day. And now... four days off.

Trying really hard to catch up on comments enough to get to the yearlong prompt before I have to go back to work on Sunday. Fingers crossed I'll get there.


Bumper to bumper
as far as the eye can see...
time to start drinking.

*     *     *

Honk the horn. Honk the
horn. Honk the horn. It has to
work eventually...

Monday July 17th, 2017

The exercise:

Let us do some more continuations today. I think you know the drill by now.

Smoke from the nearest forest fire was bad again today. At least it helped keep things cooler. But I would have appreciated better air quality to go along with a lack of wilting heat.

Beggars, choosers, blah blah blah.

One more day and then my weekend arrives.


The smoke burns my eyes but I am too captivated to blink the pain away. I do not want to miss even a moment.

All the books and audio interviews I have consumed in recent years as I prepared for this night were an utter waste of time. I am wholly unprepared for this.

My nerve endings are tingling. The intermingling aromas are overwhelming my ability to process them. The rhythm of the drums have become my heartbeat. Colors whirl and blur and separate until everything before me becomes one.

I can hardly breathe.

The ritual has begun.

Sunday July 16th, 2017

The exercise:

Write about: the pinata.

Kat and I met for the first time 12 years ago today. Apparently.

Because I totally forgot about it until she reminded me at lunch today. Oops.

Work was generally uneventful again today. I think temperatures peaked in the high twenties today, which was a nice followup to yesterday's high thirties. More of the same tomorrow it looks like.


"I don't know about this."

"What's your problem now?"

"The pinata."

"Oh come on. I filled it up with healthy snacks, not just cheap candy and dollar store toys."

"It's not that."

"What then? Are you worried one of the kids will take somebody's eye out? I can find a stick that isn't quite so sharp."

"It's not that either."

"Right, spit it out then. I haven't got all day, you know. The party is starting in less than an hour."

"I just don't think the kids should be trying to crack open a stuffed figure of your ex-wife..."

Saturday July 15th, 2017

The exercise:

Write a four line poem about something that is: inescapable.

Pretty smooth first day back at work. Hot again, but it's supposed to be much cooler tomorrow (relatively speaking). There's a strong wind blowing tonight to make sure that'll be the case.

Funniest (to me) thing that happened today: I was restocking the women's washroom at the main beach this afternoon in preparation for going home and as I was finishing up a lady stuck her head in to tell me that there was 'a huge lineup out here - can we use the washrooms yet?'.

Because, you know, the size of the lineup is a major factor in how long it takes me to take care of the facilities.

But! That wasn't even the best part.

No, that was when I said to go ahead, since I'd finished with the toilets and was working on the sink/counter/garbage bags by the door, and... five ladies came in.


I think there were like fifty ladies waiting for me on Canada Day long weekend...


Sure, fight me if you will -
It entertains me still.
I'll still take your last breath -
For no one escapes Death.

Friday July 14th, 2017

The exercise:

Write four lines of prose about: ripples.

Had a nice time at Kettle River this morning. Only about a 40 minute drive away but it somehow seems to be a big effort to get out there. Planning on getting out into the woods a few more times this summer, as the boys love it and Kat and I need it too.

Sat with Miles by the river's edge for quite a while, just watching him throw rocks into the water. Started out with little pebbles then gradually got bigger. By the end I was quite certain he was going to crush his toes with one of those big rocks he was picking up but he managed not to.

The water was cold and refreshing but still moving fast after this spring's flooding extravaganza, so we stuck close to shore.

Back to work tomorrow. Really want to say already as I'm not at all sure where the last four days went.


Spinning slowly as it arches through the air, it peaks and then begins its descent. There is no stopping it now, no taking it back. It will land with great force, enough to shake the foundations of all that we believe in.

And we will feel the ripple effects for decades to come.

Thursday July 13th, 2017

The exercise:

Write about: suckers.

Delivered apricots with the boys this morning to the bakery and to our hairstylist, then spent some time at a park. Tried to stay in the shade as much as possible but those boys love their swings, so had to do that for a bit in the heat before coming home for lunch.

Planning a morning trip to Kettle River tomorrow to escape the heat by getting into the mountains and enjoying some nature exploration with the family. Max is so excited I almost needed a tranquilizer to get him to sleep tonight.



They say there's one born every minute.

That's crazy though, right? I mean, how is that possible? Where are they all coming from?

Well, I mean, of course I know where they're coming from. What I mean is, who are these people that keep pumping out the suckers who are threatening to overpopulate our planet?

More suckers, I reckon. Put two of them together and they're bound to produce another sucker or five. Just makes sense to me. Wouldn't you agree?

I mean, if I put some time in I'm sure I could find out for certain. You know, do some research, have some focus groups or whatever, poll some scientists and junk like that. Come up with a definite answer in, what, two years or so?

Yeah, I could do that.

Don't believe me?

Well then... care to place a wager on it?

Wednesday July 12th, 2017

The exercise:

Write about: trepidation.

We limited customers to one pint of raspberries each when our email went out this week in order to make sure everybody who wanted them could get at least one, since the berries are not doing very well in this recent heat. So of course of the nine people who ordered, seven said they'd take a second if there was one available.

We managed to get fourteen pints between last night and this morning, so only a couple customers had to settle for one. Better than we expected.

Miles fell asleep super early this evening, which was nice because it gave Kat and I some extra time for just the two of us.

It will be less nice when he wakes up super early tomorrow morning.


He approaches warily. We can see that he has been hurt before. Badly, perhaps. So we let him take his time, trying to appear as harmless and friendly as possible.

He's not buying it. I'm not sure I can blame him. We must look huge to him.

I offer him a treat and, to my great dismay, he becomes even more nervous. Has someone tried this trick before, but with less honorable intentions? Disgusting. Heartbreaking.

We retreat a ways, leaving the treat behind. He hesitates for a few moments, unsure of his next move. But I can see that he really wants that treat. It is difficult not to hold my breath. I can feel my sister beside me fighting that same battle.

Finally, with many a backward glance, he comes forward a few steps. We coo encouraging words. A few more steps. Big smiles, tiny welcoming waves. Here he comes. Almost there. Almost.

And at long last the pool boy takes the bait.

I mean treat.

Tuesday July 11th, 2017

The exercise:

Write two haiku about: the halfway point.

Realized today that I've worked eleven four day shifts with the town and that I've got eleven more to go before my contract is done.

Had some time to myself this morning to recover from the last four days. Got caught up on a few more comments and rested and generally appreciated the opportunity to relax.

This afternoon I had my first chiropractor appointment in two weeks (they were closed last week). Much needed, feel much better now.

Tomorrow we've got our next customer pickup day, featuring raspberries and apricots.


The halfway point, where
it's just as easy to move
forward or retreat

*     *     *

Unless you're climbing
a mountain. Then falling down
would be much quicker...

Monday July 10th, 2017

The exercise:

Write about: the trap.

And the weekend has arrived at last. For me at least.

Today wasn't too bad. Didn't especially enjoy having to clean Town Hall again, but I got through it in a reasonable amount of time. At least I'm done with the Fire Hall for the next four weeks.

I am determined to get this posted tonight, just so that I can break the string of posts being excessively late on my fourth day of work.

Of course it is already well past midnight, but I haven't fallen asleep yet so... here I go.


The bait is set,
So now we wait
To see who comes
To seal their fate...

And still we wait.
Does the trap work?
Let me just check...
*SNAP*... don't you smirk!

Just get me out
Of here right now!
What do you mean
You don't know how...?

Sunday July 9th, 2017

The exercise:

Write about: the lost years.

Another relatively quiet day at work. Hot again, but not as bad as yesterday.

Stuck trying to catch up on posts again...


Sun soaked days spent building sand castles at the water's edge. Ice cream in the shade. Running through sprinklers until baths before bed.

Collecting rainbow leaves, chasing them through the woods as fingers ache from the coming cold. Blanketed evenings in the company of books. Sleepovers with late night buttered popcorn and cheesy movies.

Hot chocolate breath fogging the air. Snowmen armies in the yard. Snowball fights creating both laughter and tears. Endless soup dinners with family and friends. Playing cards by candle light.

And then... nothing. No memories. Just a black gap, a yawning chasm with an unknowable bottom.

And then... working two jobs. Crippling debt. Collection agents. A new city every few months. Sleepless nights. Paranoia a steadfast companion, never leaving my side.

But... those missing years. What happened? Why can't I remember? Someone must know, surely. Someone must be able to shed light on that maddening darkness.

All I have to do is find them.

Saturday July 8th, 2017

The exercise:

Write a four line poem about: a brand new day.

There are forest fires all over the place at the moment, prompting our province to declare a state of emergency. We're not currently under any imminent threat, but the valley certainly filled up with smoke this morning.

While it wasn't much fun to breathe in, the smoke seemed to keep the beaches and parks relatively quiet. Certainly the least stressful day I've had in a while at any rate.

Supposed to be a few more degrees cooler tomorrow, which would be appreciated.


Stop for a moment
And breathe in the morning;
Hear your soul whisper
And heed its grim warning

Friday July 7th, 2017

The exercise:

Write four lines of prose about something that is: a long time coming.

Wasn't quite as hot today as last night's forecast predicted (37 degrees instead of 40) which was... good? I guess?

Still drank about three liters of water today (work provides 500ml bottles and I was starting on my seventh on the way home). Plus an iced coffee.

More of the same expected for tomorrow.


You may recall that a while back I mentioned encountering a couple and their three dogs at Cottonwood Beach, and how unpleasant that meeting was. What you certainly don't know is that I've been keeping an eye out for them ever since, wanting to get a picture of them so that I could show it to the Bylaw enforcement officer - because I'm quite good at holding grudges when I want to be.

Well today, just before quitting time, the Bylaw enforcement officer showed me a picture of the woman (by far the more unpleasant of the two in my experience) and told me that she'd just given her seven tickets and that she'll also be getting an expulsion letter (not allowed in public parks, beaches, or washrooms) and that if I see her again I get to call the cops to have her arrested.

I don't care how petty this sounds: that totally made my day.

Thursday July 6th, 2017

The exercise:

Write something which takes place on: the movie set.

Took a family trip to Penticton this morning for a couple appointments and to get some groceries. Managed to get back home before the heat reached excessive levels.

This afternoon those excessive levels were reached, so I turned on the sprinklers in the yard and hung out in the shade of the walnut tree with the boys. Miles loves playing in the water and it's a great way to keep us all cool.

Back to town work tomorrow. Going to be hooooooot.


"Quiet on the set!"

"What's the old fart yelling about then?"

"Who knows. He's always shouting about something though, isn't he?"

"Right? I don't know how he expects to make any friends here with a disposition like that."

"Probably just needs to relax, hey? Is your nephew still going to school to become a masseuse? You should give him a call, see if he can swing by and work some stress balls out of this guy's shoulders."

"I said quiet on the set!"

"There he goes again. Can you make out what he's upset about?"

"Oh, no. The battery on my hearing aid died on me last week and I haven't had a chance to replace it yet. You?"

"No. But I'm sure if it's important he'll come over here and tell us to our faces. You know, instead of raising his voice like an overtired toddler."

"Oh goodness, you're quite right. Do you remember when Kevin threw that tantrum in the grocery store when he was two?"

"How could I forget? They still won't let me shop in that place. Talk about holding a grudge!"


Wednesday July 5th, 2017

The exercise:

Write about: the big birthday bash.

Had our first non U-pick pickup day this afternoon, with customers coming to collect their pre-ordered raspberries and cherries. I had an extra crate (twenty pounds or so) of cherries on hand for those who might have been enticed into buying more (or trying some if they'd only ordered raspberries) and sold all but three pounds of it.

Not bad at all.

Had a short visit with a very good friend from Vancouver and his girlfriend shortly after lunch. Those sorts of visits are never long enough but it was still great to see him again.


"This party is going to be legendary bro!"

"Ugh. Please, no, little brother."

"What's the problemo?"

"That word is so overused these days."

"Which word? Party?"

"No. Just... no. Legendary. It's the new awesome."

"But your bash is going to be legit legendary - I made sure of it!"

"Dare I ask...?"

"I've got a dragon to light your birthday candles and when the celebration is over? Boom. Two unicorns to pop all the balloons. Legendary, big bro. Legendary."

Tuesday July 4th, 2017

The exercise:

Write two haiku about: beaches.

I've actually used this as a haiku prompt before, but that was more than six years ago so... here we go again!

We spent a good chunk of the morning at Cottonwood Beach with three of Max's playschool buddies and their families. Was a lot of fun and we're hoping to keep meeting up every week throughout the summer.

Kat took Max for another beach play date in the afternoon while I stayed home with Miles. Sounds like the eldest had a grand time while me and the youngest kept ourselves generally entertained.

He is teething (again? still?) though, so there were a few rough patches.

Getting so stupid drunk when we're finally done with teething.


Sand. Millions of grains.
And at least half of them are
in my bikini.

*     *     *

Pasty white skin hides
beneath umbrellas and hats
and long sleeve shirts and...

Monday July 3rd, 2017

The exercise:

Write about: a common complaint.

Kat took Miles for his second haircut this morning. Went well. Will miss that curly mop on his head, but it'll come back soon enough. Hopefully after the worst of the summer heat has passed.

Took Max out this afternoon while his little brother was napping to have some time for just the two of us. He had an iced tea and I had an iced coffee and we both had a good time.

Feel like I keep missing opportunities to catch up on comments (because now I'm trying to catch up on posts). Annoyed but undeterred.


It is hot, hot, hot -
Way too hot for me!
It's too hard to think
When I'm this sweaty!

Remind me again
What was it you said
Back in May? Was it:
I'm staying in bed

'Til summer returns
From its holiday?
How about now that
Winter's gone away?

Do you still feel the same?
Or is this a new game?

Sunday July 2nd, 2017

The exercise:

Write about: appreciation.

Well, made it through. Was a bit more manageable today, as I actually had time to look at all the washrooms (not just the one at the main beach) and even cleaned up a few parks. Still was a battle to get into the ladies washroom at main beach, but not as ridiculous as yesterday.

I am very much looking forward to my four days off.


Just before lunch today I ventured out to Cottonwood Beach to check the washrooms and do some cleaning up, as I had only unlocked the washrooms there yesterday and today. I knew it would be busy, as it's a good spot to view the fireworks, but it's also on the east side of Osoyoos. Which means you have to go over the bridge to get there. And that bridge is miserable for traffic in the summer, especially on long weekends.

Anyway. The washrooms weren't too bad. The beach had some garbage but nothing excessive. The park itself was okay too.

As I was finishing up the park I met a lady sitting on one of the benches. She thanked me for the job I was doing, which is always nice. And then, while we were still talking, another lady walked up to do the same thing.

I told them I was going to hang out there more often.

And then I came home for lunch, as heading back into town from there probably would have taken 45 minutes (normally it's less than 5 from there).

Thankfully traffic was better after my break, but I still started with Kinsman and Goodman parks (both also on the east side) to give it more time to clear up. I think getting around town this summer is going to prove to be a pretty big time management challenge.

Anyway. Back to the point. It was nice to get some appreciative feedback today. Particularly after dealing with so many people who seemed to be under the impression that either the bathrooms cleaned themselves or that any time they needed to use them was a bad time for them to be cleaned. And also that I took too long to clean them.

ANYWAY. Appreciation is good.

Saturday July 1st, 2017

The exercise:

You've got four lines of poetry. Picture yourself waiting in line for a public washroom and you really, really need to pee. Now imagine me showing up and announcing you have to wait while I clean said washroom. Use your poetry skills to try to convince me to let you use the facilities before I clean.

Just a heads up, though: if it's fifteen minutes before the end of my day and I need to restock toilet paper and paper towel, because the washrooms are going to be open for another *seven* hours, the answer is gonna be no.

Man, did I hear some stuff from the ladies today whenever I was trying to get in to clean their side. Pretty sure I got less and less polite as the day went on.

Anyway. Made it through. Now I just have to deal with the mess that was left after I finished today when I start tomorrow morning and... well, there are still a lot of people in town. I guess we'll see how it goes.

Took Max over to Uncle Adam and Aunt Becky's house tonight to watch the fireworks from their deck. He appreciated it, which was good. Because I would have been happier with getting him to bed at a reasonable time and getting some extra rest this evening.

Whatever. Happy 150th birthday Canada. I think a whole lot of people enjoyed celebrating your milestone.


My pee is a bomb and only
Toilet water can diffuse it.
So let me in already or
I might just lose it!