Wednesday June 28th, 2017

The exercise:

Write something that has to do with: watch out!

Spent most of the day with the boys so that Kat could get some work done. Miles hardly napped (maybe five minutes?) so it was a bit of a long one, but at least that meant he was out for the night fairly early.

Took them for a walk this afternoon by the beach. Would have been a lot nicer if the wind wasn't howling quite so much. They both liked it, up until we got a face full of blown dirt as we headed back up to Main Street. Then Miles was less entertained by the whole thing.

Back to work tomorrow. Not at all looking forward to the next four days, as Canada Day is this Saturday and things are going to be busy with a capital everything.

I will be happy to have it behind me on Sunday night though.


This morning I was in a pharmacy in town with the boys. We needed a couple things for the house, including some razors for Kat.

So there we were in the razors aisle. Miles was in his stroller with Max beside him to my left. I was bent over trying to figure out which brand Kat wanted. There was a lady to my right, also looking at the razors.

She quickly stepped in front of me with a quiet Sorry and ended up between me and the boys. Max's immediate response?

"Woaaah, watch out! There's a baby here!"

My immediate reaction? A startled laugh before burying my face in my hands and muttering Oh my God.

After collecting what she wanted she crossed in front of me again, while turning to give Max an amused Sorry. I managed to tell her something along the lines of That's quite all right.

Oh, the things kids will say in public that will make you want to disappear...

And yes, I am very much aware that much, much worse than that is in store for me in the coming years.

Tuesday June 27th, 2017

The exercise:

Write two haiku about: closing time.

Had our final strawberry U-pick of the year this afternoon. Had enough people show up to make it worth doing. And now we can shift our focus to other things, as a good portion of our week has just been freed up.

We'll still be doing local orders for fruit and berries but it'll be just one day each week and there will be no U-picking involved. Our customer email list has definitely grown a lot as a result of doing this, so I guess we'll see how many of those people stick around for things like apricots and peaches and apples.

Going to try to catch up on some comments in the next few days so that we can get to the yearlong prompt before this month slips out the back door.


It's closing time, gents!
One last call for alcohol...
you sorry bastards.

*     *     *

Lock the doors, shut the
blinds. Work is done for today...
Don't look so happy.

Monday June 26th, 2017

The exercise:

Write about: hide and seek.

Family trip to the beach this morning. Visit with friends this afternoon. BBQ salmon and potatoes for dinner.

Good day off.


"All right buddy, I've got a few minutes before work. What do you want to do?"

"Hide and seek!"

"Sure, we can play a quick game of hide and seek. I'll count and you hide, okay?"


"No? You want to count and I'll hide?"


"... then how are we going to play?"

"We're already playing, Dada."

"We are?"

"Uh huh. I already hid your car keys - now you have to seek them!"

Sunday June 25th, 2017

The exercise:

Write about something that is: burning.

U-Pick went pretty well today. Plus we had some pre-picked cherries for sale, which a lot of people were happy to see. And buy. And eat.

You get the idea.

I think I've been out in the sun too much the last few days, as I wasn't feeling particularly good this afternoon. A little nap seemed to help, along with lots of water.

It's after midnight as I type this and the house is still hot.

I guess summer has arrived.


"What's that smell?"

"I don't smell anything."

"Is something burning in the kitchen?"


"You're sure about that?"

"Uh huh."

"I'm going to check anyway."

"Knock yourself out."

"Damn it, John! All I asked you to do was boil some water!"

Saturday June 24th, 2017

The exercise:

Write a four line poem about: a scholar and a gentleman.

Yup, fourth night of working seems to be sleepy night. I should really get my act together and start scheduling posts for those days.

Anyway. Today was a much better day than yesterday. Hot, though. And without an air conditioned office to clean at the end of my shift because it's the weekend, I was starting to suffer pretty good toward the end.

But I survived. Now to get through tomorrow morning's U-Pick (in more hot weather) and then I can hide in the shade for the next three and a half days.


The scholar sent an invitation to his seminar
On Strange Words and How They Were Defined.
The gentleman, who was terribly flattered,
Thanked him kindly and then, politely, declined.

Friday June 23rd, 2017

The exercise:

Write four lines of prose about: cleaning up.

I'm not quite sure what I want to share about my morning at work. I'd rather not get into the details, both because they're gross and because I'd rather not think about them. So I'll just say this: cleaning the men's washroom at the main beach took me an hour and fifteen minutes this morning.

Usually? That's a thirty minute job, tops.

Here's hoping tomorrow morning sees a better start to the day.

If nothing else, at least it will be my Friday.


The beard is gone, the clothes are new. A tidy, respectable haircut. Subtle hints of cologne waft through the air.

Yeah, he cleans up pretty nicely.

Thursday June 22nd, 2017

The exercise:

Write about: the rescue.

Max had his final day of playschool this morning. They celebrated the end of the year by having a get together at the splash park and I managed to drop by for a bit - mostly to visit but also to check on the washrooms there.

With parents invited, and many of the kids having younger siblings, it was a busy scene. Kinda glad I had work as an excuse to not stay longer. The boys had fun though, so that's good. Plus plans are in the works for play dates with Max's classmates, which is exciting news.


I don't know what you're doing here. What do you hope to accomplish? Looks like a right proper waste of time to me - yours and mine.

Fine, go on then. Speak your piece. And then you'll be welcome to shut the hell up or leave me the hell alone. Whichever you prefer, yeah?

Hey, miss? Yeah, we'll have another pitcher. Thanks. No need for a second glass - she won't be staying long. I don't think she'd like this stuff anyway. Not an appreciator of fine beverages like myself, know what I'm saying?

What's that? Oh, you're still talking. Bloody hell, you're right full of hot air tonight, aren't ya? Well of course I wasn't listening! You're just here to hear yourself talk, ain't ya? Surely you weren't expecting me to listen to whatever garbage you're spewing?

Go on home, then. There's still time for you to salvage your night. Go catch a movie or chat with one of your girlfriends or whatever it is you do that ain't drinking. Just go, all right?

You should know better by now - you can't save me from myself.

Wednesday June 21st, 2017

The exercise:

Write about: expansion.

The NHL is welcoming a new team next season, based out of Las Vegas, and they held their expansion draft this evening where the Golden Knights were able to select one player from each of the other thirty teams in order to fill out their roster.

Work today went fairly well. Hot and busy but got through it.

I know the yearlong prompt is looming once again. No promises on when, but we will get back to it before the end of the month.


"We need to get bigger."

"Bigger isn't always better."

"Bigger...? What?"

"We shouldn't be increasing the size of the company just for the sake of getting bigger."

"I don't understand a single word you're saying right now."

"I just think we should be wary of a bigger is better mentality. Sometimes a company needs to establish itself at a certain size - maybe even shrink a bit - in order to thrive later on."

"Is that right? Well then, I've got an idea that you should like."

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

"Let's shrink the company a bit, shall we?"

"Sure. Wait, I mean... hold on... what are y-"

"You're fired."

Tuesday June 20th, 2017

The exercise:

Write two haiku about: the motorcycle gang.

U-Pick today went okay. I think most people have the strawberries they want now. Plus it was very hot out, so I imagine that kept a few people away. We'll do it again this Sunday (so that I can be there, as Kat's parents will be picking cherries Saturday morning and won't be able to help) and see how it goes. I suspect next Tuesday will be our last go for the season though.

Heading back to (my other) work tomorrow. Not feeling especially rested after the last four days, but hopefully it ends up being manageable.


Their arrival in
town is announced by roaring
engines and locked doors

*     *     *

Black leather, ink all
over - they're here because they
just want to make friends...

Monday June 19th, 2017

The exercise:

Our writing word of the day is: stay.

Kat surprised me with a booking for a massage this afternoon as a Father's Day gift. It was awesome and much appreciated and lead to the below conversation with my sister and brother-in-law after I got home.

Speaking of whom, they left us shortly after I got back from said massage. They are missed by all of us already.


Me: One day I'm going to book a massage where I can just stay on the table and sleep instead of having to get up right after it's done.

Sue: You could get one done at a hotel and then just have them wheel you back to your room.

Me: No. I don't want to move. I don't want to be moved. I just want to stay on the massage table and sleep.

Jake: You could get in done in your hotel room and then just roll off an-

Me: No. I want to stay on the table. I think next time I'll book a two hour session. The first hour will be the massage, the second hour will be for sleep.

Sue: Ooh, that's a good idea...

Sunday June 18th, 2017

The exercise:

Write about something that is: slippery.

Happy Father's Day to all the other dads out there. Hope yours was a good one - mine certainly was.

We had a big farm family dinner on our deck this evening, barbecuing salmon (three of them, actually) to go with potato salad, a green salad, and strawberry cake for dessert. Was a lot of fun.

Sue and Jake will be heading out tomorrow, but not until the afternoon so we still have a little more time left with them. I think both Max and Miles are going to miss them a lot when they go.


Not an easy thing to grasp,
At least not for long.
For some it's too tall a task -
Soon it's all gone wrong.

For those in the public eye
Truth is elusive prey;
And usually, as time goes by,
Black and white turns grey.

I would never choose that life,
It's just not for me.
Some lies are too sharp a knife
To not wield with glee...

Saturday June 17th, 2017

The exercise:

Write a four line poem about: familiar faces.

Sorry about yesterday's prompt being so delayed. It seems like staying awake the night of my fourth day on at work is especially difficult.

U-Pick went pretty well today. Total sales were up from last Saturday but didn't quite reach Tuesday's numbers.

Looking forward to spending Father's Day with family tomorrow.


I don't know your name,
Probably never will.
But it's nice to see
Your smiling face still

Friday June 16th, 2017

The exercise:

Write four lines of prose about: the troubadour.

Cooler weather for most of the day again meant another fairly quiet shift for me. I'm not expecting to have another four day shift like this one until September or maybe even October.

My sister Sue and brother-in-law Jake arrived just a few minutes after I got home from work. Excited to hang out with them for the next two days, and to get their help with picking strawberries for customers who'd rather not U-Pick, for whatever reason.

Speaking of... I should get some sleep. Need to get up early again to get setup and to make sure we've got a reasonable amount of pre-picked berries for those customers looking for them.

So... good night!


"Where is my song? You promised me a song about my beloved wife."

"It is coming, sire, I assure you! It's just that... you see, I'm having a touch of trouble finding enough... appropriate words to rhyme with Queen Brit..."

Thursday June 15th, 2017

The exercise:

Write about: the hooligans.

With a strong wind blowing and dark clouds overhead, there were not a lot of people out and about at the parks and beaches today.

I don't imagine I'll have too many more days like that, so I'll take 'em when I can get 'em.


"Okay, so what's on the agenda this evening?"

"You and me and the boys, we're gonna have some pints, right?"


"Then we'll grab some food, yeah?"


"Then we'll get ourselves some more pints, right?"


"Then we'll get ourselves to the stadium for the match, am I right?"

"You're right."

"Then we'll get ourselves some more pints."

"Sure. Then what?"

"Oh, we don't need to figure that out now. It won't be up to us anyway, yeah?"

"What do you mean?"

"The beers will be making all the decisions by that point, right?"

"Oh... right, right."

Wednesday June 14th, 2017

The exercise:

Write about: the vendetta.

Another fairly uneventful day at work. That's a good thing, just to be clear.

Very excited that my sister and brother-in-law are coming for a visit this weekend from Calgary. Feels like it has been too long and I know the time will go by too quickly.


"Reports out of Alabama this evening indicate that three more school teachers have been shot and killed, this time in Tuscaloosa. This brings the total number of teachers murdered in the state in recent weeks to twenty-five."

"While police have been reluctant to blame this apparent killing spree on a single suspect - or even a group of suspects - there is growing concern that a serial killer is on the loose and targeting the educators of our children."

"Possible motivation for such a violent rampage is purely speculative at this juncture, however Channel 5 News spoke with Tyson Lawrie, a psychological professor at Auburn University, who shared his thoughts on the person - or persons - perpetrating this horrific series of crimes."

"This individual likely suffered some sort of trauma or abuse at the hands of one of his or her own teach-"

I shut the TV off and drop the remote on the couch beside me. I don't like listening to them smart folks talk about me like they know me. They ain't so smart - least not as smart as they think they is.

They don't know me.

They don't know why all them teachers have to die.

Tuesday June 13th, 2017

The exercise:

Write two haiku about: the barbarian.

Work went pretty well today. No big bathroom disasters and, more importantly, no dead fish.

I missed out on all the fun at the farm this afternoon though. Kat said there was a throng of customers at opening for the U-Pick and then it was steady for pretty much the rest of the... shift? Session? Whatever you want to call it.

Basically we sold more than double what we did on Saturday.

Fingers crossed the momentum continues to build this coming Saturday.


He thinks savage thoughts.
He does savage things. He is
not my president.

*     *     *

Mama always told
me: Talk loudly and carry
a really big sword.

Monday June 12th, 2017

The exercise:

Write about: a fear of heights.

Another busy day, filled with selling the strawberries we picked yesterday (found them all good homes, so hurray for that) and taking care of the boys while Kat got some work done.

U-Pick day number two is tomorrow afternoon from 3 to 6. I'll be at work, so Kat, her dad, and Max will be running the show.

Fingers crossed everything goes smoothly and a whole lotta berries get picked.


"You doing okay?"

"I'm fine."

"You sure? We can go back down if you w-"

"I said I'm fine."

"Okay. You want to wait here for a bit or go up another step?"

"Let's just keep moving. The less time I have to think about this the better."

"Sounds good. Okay, here we go..."

"Oh god... why am I doing this to myself?"

"Because you really want to overcome your fear of heights? Because you've been telling me for years that it holds you back from doing things you want to do and going places you want to go?"

"Right... right. That was stupid talk. Why did you listen to me?"

"Actually, we're doing this because I was quite tired of listening to you. Come on, let's keep moving."

"I hate you."

"Uh huh. Here we go..."

Sunday June 11th, 2017

The exercise:

Write about: the butterfly catcher.

Busy day. Helped put the nets on the cherry trees this morning. Picked strawberries that went unpicked at yesterday's U-Pick this afternoon. Mowed the lawn this evening.

Ready for rest now.


Catcher? I am no mere butterfly catcher.

I am a butterfly hunter.

No fluttering, paint-splattered winged insect can escape my net. I am as accurate with my tool of choice as any of those so called big game hunters are with theirs.

And I have the collection to prove it.

Only I don't settle for heads or tusks or teeth like they do. I bring my prey home whole. Alive, even, in most cases. Let's see them do that with their elephants or lions or gorillas or whatevers. I think not.

And they take themselves so seriously. Act as though they are better than me. How many of their targets have they managed to land in their lifetimes? One? Maybe two or three? I certainly haven't met any that have surpassed ten.

Me? I count them by the hundreds. I have filled mansions with my butterflies. Mansions. Let me see any of them accomplish that.

I think not.

Saturday June 10th, 2017

The exercise:

Write a four line poem about: dancing the night away.

We went up to Oliver this evening to watch Natalie's dance recital. It was quite the show, with all the dance students performing routines they've been practicing this year. We only stayed for the first half, as the whole thing was scheduled for three hours and Miles needed to get to bed.

Max didn't want to leave, so he stayed for the whole show and got a ride home with Kat's parents. He got home after ten (his bedtime is usually around eight, by the way). Once I finally got him to bed it did not take long for him to fall asleep.

The strawberry U-Pick this morning went okay. The weather was cool but didn't rain, and those customers who came seemed to enjoy themselves and appreciate the berries they picked. Unfortunately there were lots of berries that went unpicked, as I think we overdid it with warning people that the plants were just starting to produce and that it would be better to come in a week or two if they wanted to pick lots. Plus the plants are already producing more berries than we were expecting.

Ah well, lessons learned. And there will be no more low production warnings until the plants start to slow down. Hopefully Tuesday afternoon hosts a better turnout.


My feet are aching,
My legs have turned to lead...
But I'm not stopping -
You can't make me go to bed.

Friday June 9th, 2017

The exercise:

Write four lines of prose about: in the garden after dark.

Happy blogiversary to Daily Writing Practice - it all began nine years ago today.

We're all set for our first U-Pick tomorrow. We'll be open from 9 until noon. Hopefully the weather cooperates and we get just the right amount of people showing up to collect their strawberries - not too many, not few. Just right would be lovely.

Fingers crossed.


"Hi honey, I'm home!"

"You were out there late tonight - how could you even see anything?"

"Yeah, I was just trying to get as many strawberries picked as possible for customers who can't/won't do it themselves."

"Those are cucumbers..."

Thursday June 8th, 2017

The exercise:

Write about something that is: up in the air.

One last dead fish first thing this morning to finish my week off, this time at Lions Park. Didn't smell especially terrible, so it must have been relatively fresh.

To clear up any confusion, dead fish wash up on the beaches fairly often. Some get hit by boats, others are leftovers from ospreys, and others... who knows. Old age?

And with lake levels going down the last few days I guess some fish are getting stranded on the beaches as well.

Anyway. Four days off have arrived, so you get at least a temporary reprieve from fish stories.


"Look! It's a bird!"

"Why are you so excited about a bird?"

"No! It's a plane!"

"Hold on, I'm not letting you get away with that quite so easily. You have seen a bird before, right?"

"No! It's Superman!"

"... you don't get out much, do you?"

Wednesday June 7th, 2017

The exercise:

Write about: alterations.

This morning was cooler than I was expecting, but the afternoon made up for that. Was definitely wilting towards the end there, and was feeling very grateful for the air conditioning at the office I was cleaning for the last hour of my shift.

One more day before my weekend commences.



"Yes, BH28?"

"The alterations are complete."

"I don't feel any different."

"There will be an adjustment period. There always is with this sort of procedure."

"How long?"

"It varies for each person, sir."

"How. Long."

"It is impossible to predict with any ac-"

"Give me a proper answer or I will launch you out of the escape hatch - without the pod."

"This is extremely unfair, sir."

"No, what this is, BH28, is your last chance."

"... the alterations to your body will be accessible to you when you wake tomorrow morning."

"Excellent. See? That wasn't so hard."

"Indeed, sir. Sleep long and sleep well, sir."

"I shall!"

"I will be here when you wake."

"... why wouldn't you be?"

"Indeed, sir. Good night."

Tuesday June 6th, 2017

The exercise:

Write two haiku as written by: a prisoner.

More dead fish today, but at least they were in the water/near the shoreline where they're meant to be. Still stink like death took a poop though.

Ready for day three tomorrow. Going to be a hot one.


I didn't do it.
Can't you see? Why would I do
that to your daughter?

*     *     *

Six feet by eight feet.
I am an animal and
this is my steel cage.

Monday June 5th, 2017

The exercise:

Write about: something fishy.

Quite the welcome back to work.

In addition to the tale below, Town Hall was a bit of a rush at the end of the day, as Tammy was so busy on Sunday cleaning up after the car show that she wasn't able to get the washrooms done for me. I managed to do a reasonable job of it in the time I had, and I'm glad that it won't be my turn to clean that office for another four weeks.

Now, on with the fish business.


I start my day, as I may have previously mentioned, by driving around to unlock all the public washrooms (other than the three that are on timed auto lock/unlock). My second to last stop on my rounds is Legion Beach. The washrooms there are extremely basic (one stall on each side, no sinks) and are going to be demolished and replaced at some point in the near future.

This washroom has been the site of many adventures already, but this morning went above and beyond anything I've had to deal with previously.

When I unlocked the men's side I could smell it right away. Fish. Delightful.

I went in to have a look and found a dead fish in the toilet bowl. Dee. Light. Full.

I turned around and re-locked the door, as I didn't have any supplies with me. I got my cleaning supplies from the shop, cleaned the washrooms at the main beach (which were surprisingly not too bad), then returned to Legion to deal with the fish.

Turns out? I was mistaken in my initial assessment. There wasn't a dead fish in the toilet bowl.

There were two. One bigger one, one smaller one.

Got them out into a garbage bag, cleaned the bowl, headed to the Public Works yard for coffee break. Dumped the garbage bag with the fish in it in our dumpster there before returning to work.

I have no idea why someone (or someones - I'd hate to credit one person when two or more may have been involved) would do that. I suspect alcohol may have been an influence in the decision making process.

Or, you know, maybe he/she/they were just a-holes.

Either way! You guys get another bathroom story that doesn't involve human excrement! So I guess we all win.

Wait. Pretty sure there was no winning in this story for me.

Um, at least they weren't alive?

There we go, win for me too.


Good night.

Sunday June 4th, 2017

The exercise:

Write something that has to do with: no, you do it.

Kat and I went out for brunch this morning, our first date since... probably my birthday. The boys hung out with Grandma and Papa on the farm and had a great time.

Shall try to do this a little more often, me thinks.

Here's a couple shots from the car show, as I managed to get the pictures off my phone already and I figured I'd better run with the momentum:

That one inspired a series of shots of only car engines, as Max thought taking pictures of the cars that had their hoods up was suddenly a great idea.

I think that was my favorite one, as I thought the old school luggage up top was a nice touch.

All right. Back to work with me tomorrow, so I should get this done.


With Kat's parents planting another section of strawberries (without consulting us beforehand) - which basically doubled our production from last year - we always knew picking them all was going to be a challenge. Then I got my four days on, four days off job and one of the two weekly picks became more or less impossible.

The hope at first was that my schedule would allow me to attend the Penticton farmers market when the berries came ready. But then the cold spring delayed the plants and now even that much is out of the question.

Talks of doing a U-Pick started around Christmas, with Kat's mom surprisingly on board (she likes her privacy and quiet). It was pretty much the only choice though as we don't have the manpower or cooler/fridge space to pick and store all those berries whenever they peak. I mean, we just got around 25 pounds and there are hardly any ripe out there.

So we're doing it. Our very first day will likely be this coming Saturday. And we've already got plenty of interest. It'll be a learning experience for sure, but I'm hopeful that it'll work for everyone.

Customers get their berries and we get our berries picked. We'll have to do some picking ourselves, for trades and friends and whatever, and I expect there will be days when not enough people show up to pick the whole crop.

But for the most part? We're basically telling people: "Us? No, you pick the strawberries."

Saturday June 3rd, 2017

The exercise:

Write a four line poem about: criminal minds.

Had our first thorough strawberry pick today. Managed to find 24 pounds between Kat, Max, and myself this morning. Kat's dad went through the rest this afternoon and probably got another 3 or 4 pounds.

So it begins.

Took Max to a car show here in town after lunch. He had a blast. Will share some pictures once I get them off my phone.

I will try to do that in a reasonable amount of time.


Take what you can
And give it all you got;
Steal all the money
Until you get caught

Friday June 2nd, 2017

The exercise:

Write four lines of prose about: the ball game.

Drove up to Oliver this evening for a Town of Osoyoos employees vs Town of Oliver employees slo-pitch game. I hadn't played ball in a very long time - in fact I couldn't even find my glove, so I had to borrow one.

It was a lot of fun, hanging out with people I'd worked with at Town Hall and the Community Centre, though I was the only Public Works guy to show up.

Plus we wooped 'em pretty good, so that was a bonus.

It took me a while to get comfortable at the plate but I did manage a few hits with solid contact. Maybe if I played more regularly I'd hit the ball like I wanted to.

Anyway. Gonna be sore tomorrow. Should maybe get some sleep.


"I think I'm going to quit my job and do this full time instead - you can make some serious money playing baseball!"

"Yeah, if you're like, really good at it."

"Yes, exactly!"

"... please don't tell me that you think you're really good at this."

Thursday June 1st, 2017

The exercise:

Write about something that is: rocky.

And we've made it to June! Goodness me.

Spent the day with the boys while Kat got some work done. Max is still having a blast at playschool, now with a new twist.

Class lets out at 11 and for the last couple of weeks the benches in front of the elementary school have become the unofficial meetup spot. The parents get to sit and chat while the kids run around and play outside for a while. It usually starts out with Max and three or four of his classmates (there are only eight kids in his class total) and by the end we have to drag the last two or three out of there.

Today Max was out there for over an hour. It's been really great to see.

I had Miles with me and he was okay for a while just sitting on my lap while I talked to the moms of the other kids. Eventually he wanted down and then he spent the rest of the time either trying to eat grass or crawling after the bigger kids.

Pretty fun.


The road ahead is not clear -
We're in for a fight my dear.
Every step will be a fight
As we try to reach the light
Of another waiting dawn,
Before all our love is gone...

Wednesday May 31st, 2017

The exercise:

I just realized how long it has been since last we worked with the random CD prompt. Just another sign of how busy life has been, I suppose.

At any rate, that's what we're doing on this, the final day of May. Go find a song as randomly as you like and make use of its first line as your own. Giving credit where it's due, let your inspiration and imagination take over from there.

Did a family trip up to Penticton this morning/early afternoon to get some errands done. Went quite well, with Miles falling asleep for a little while in both directions and Max being entertained by videos.

Strange to think that this is only day two of six before I return to work.

Assuming the strawberries don't all ripen up before then. Probably doing a pick on Saturday regardless, just not sure how many we should be expecting to get off the plants at that point.


Sweet Disaster by Whitehorse

Galileo was bluffing.

He had to be. Who would believe anything that crazy old fool said? He was already under house arrest for his crimes against the church and common sense, what more did he have to lose?

His life? He didn't have much of one, it seemed to me. Nothing worth spending too much time or energy on, at any rate. It would have been kinder, I'd often thought, if they'd just put him to death and had that dirty bit of business done with for good.

No, there was utterly no chance that he was telling the truth. He hardly seemed to believe the words he was speaking himself. I think all the fight must have been out of him by then.

At any rate, it made my decision all the easier.

"I call your bet," I told him as I slid two stacks of my chips into the middle of his wobbly kitchen table. After a moment's hesitation (a fairly decent bluff on my part, I should think) I added another stack. "And I raise you by another hundred."

Tuesday May 30th, 2017

The exercise:

Write two haiku about: deceit.

Trying to get Wednesday's post done tonight as well, so on with the haiku!


A ruse. A facade.
Say what you will. I know you're
running from the truth.

*     *     *

Pretty lies slip from
pouting lips and I choose once
more to believe them

Monday May 29th, 2017

The exercise:

Write about: disgust.

Sorry again for the late posting. I'll just get to it.

After pointing out that Tuesday's prompt will be delayed by a day. Hopefully it will go up shortly before Wednesday's prompt and I'll be back on schedule then.


She sniffed as though it pained her
And then said with a sneer,
Watching you work fills me with disgust.
So I told her that's a shame
But it changes nothing,
For I'll continue to do what I must.

Sunday May 28th, 2017

The exercise:

Quick, before the month is over, let us return to The Dream Kingdom.

Edit: well, perhaps not quickly. More like eventually. Blame it on late night sleepiness and a desire to do my yearlong entry right.

Anyway, on with the delayed show.


"Destroy the Dream Kingdom?" Dylan shook his head as though he were trying to clear cobwebs. "Why would they want that? They'd be killing themselves along with the rest of you. Sounds like a weird way of committing suicide to me."

"They are of the belief," Nystor replied with a grimace, "that the Kingdom will not be annihilated, but merely reset. And that when that reset occurs they will return in greater numbers, with greater strength. They have been performing rituals and ceremonies and sacrifices to ensure that this comes to be. Prince Reimar is to be their final sacrifice."

"Maniacs." Josh said quietly. "Wait, you said they believe the reset will happen with the prince's death. Sounds like you don't share that perspective."

"I do not. It is utter foolishness. There is nothing waiting for us on the other side of the end."

"Maybe The Islanders just have better imaginations than you," Olivia observed, her mouth now returned to its rightful place.

"That's enough talking for now, I think," Nystor announced after giving Olivia a lengthy stare. "We must begin our journey now. Your training shall continue en route."

"Woah, woah, woah!" Dylan put both hands up in front of himself, like he was intending to physically stop anyone from leaving the room. "Just hold on here. We've got lots more questions that need to be answered before we decide what comes next."

"So. Many. Questions." Olivia came to stand beside him and Dylan stood a little taller. After a slight hesitation Josh joined their human wall.

"I'm sure you do. So would I, I imagine, were I in your boots. Or shoes, as the case may be. We will have to do something about your attire, won't we?"

"Our clothes? We've got more important things to worry about than what we're wearing!" It was an effort for Dylan not to look down to make sure he was still wearing pants.

"Indeed. Like time. And how much of it you have left to find King Brekstan."

"That sounded like a threat." Olivia crossed her arms and cocked her head to the side.

"A threat? Goodness me child, no! Merely a statement of facts. Look for yourselves." Nystor pointed behind them and they turned to find three hourglasses, all seeming to match their heights, with silvery liquid beads dripping into the bottom chambers. "That is how much time each of you have. As I'm sure you have noticed, Dylan has a little less time remaining to him since he arrived here first."

"What happens when time's up?" Josh asked warily.

"Visitors to the Dream Kingdom can only be here for so long before they must wake and return to their own world. If they stay beyond that point... there is no returning. You will no longer be guests then. You will become permanent residents."

Saturday May 27th, 2017

The exercise:

Write a four line poem about: one last chance.

Heat was manageable for most of the day. Started to wilt a bit toward quitting time. Guess my body is still getting used to the change in weather.

Parks and washrooms were quite reasonable today. Was expecting worse with the warmer temperatures, but I'm certainly not complaining.

Two more days to go, then my six day weekend begins!


You've sung this tune many times but
Let's dance this dance again my friend.
Just know that when the music stops
You and I will have reached our end.

Friday May 26th, 2017

The exercise:

Write four lines of prose about: midnight in a small town.

Kat is at her book club meeting this evening, so I'm home alone with two sleeping boys. Gave me a chance to get caught up some more on comments, which I always appreciate.

Work went well today. Hot though. Going to be even hotter tomorrow.

Might have to jump in the lake at some point.

Or at least make use of the splash park, which is now open until summer is done with us for another year.


It is quiet here, teetering on the edge of nowhere. Nobody's hanging about, nobody's passing through - where would they be going anyway, that would necessitate driving through this little nothing of a town in the dark of night?

No place good, that's for sure.

Though if there was somebody rumbling down the road to somewhere else, I'd be mighty tempted to hitch a ride...

Thursday May 25th, 2017

The exercise:

Write about: the witch hunt.

Feeling okay about heading back to work tomorrow for another round of four days. More hot weather in store though, so we'll see how long that lasts.

Had another chiropractor visit today, my first in about a week due to scheduling issues. My rib was out of alignment again, which explains why my shoulder had been bothering me so much the last few days.

Glad I only have to wait until Tuesday for my next session.


So which witch are we
Looking for today?
What has she done and
Who's agreed to pay?

Our rates are not cheap,
So I like to know
Who's footing the bill,
Who says stop or go?

Glinda... the Good Witch?
Wait. She wants who dead?
Dorothy's no witch!
What's got in her head?

I won't take this job!
No amount of... well.
Looks like I will, since
I'm under her spell...

Wednesday May 24th, 2017

The exercise:

Write about: the infection.

With only two days off this week, the focus for me needs to be on rest. So I stayed home this morning while Kat took the boys to the park and after lunch I let Max watch videos on the tablet for a while during Miles' nap.

Max is enjoying Peppa Pig these days, so it could have been worse.

Also caught up a bit on comments. The backlog is once again miserable, but I'm trying. At least the yearlong prompt is now an option, as I managed to read last month's entries. Maybe expect that on Sunday?


It spread quickly,
Faster than any of us
Could have imagined possible.
Is it too late to halt the onslaught?
Perhaps, but we still cling to hope,
Despite all the lessons he's taught.
We can still turn things around -
This world is not yet dust.
So we wage war on hate,
Our eyes on the prize:
To unseat the D. T.

Tuesday May 23rd, 2017

The exercise:

Write two haiku about: the mascot.

Another hot day. Ready for my two days off now.


Giant panda head
in severe summer heatwave;
he's been dead two days.

*     *     *

Cute friendly tiger
helps sell sugar coated food
to little children

Monday May 22nd, 2017

The exercise:

Write about: acrobatics.

I'm not totally sure that's the best prompt for my story, but I already used Spider-Man as a prompt so... here we are.

Plus I can't imagine there will be too many bathroom stories from my job that aren't the least bit gross, so I figured I'd best share this one.

Feel I should point out before getting to my tale that Max is having a sleepover at Kat's parents house tonight. Our home is... weirdly empty without him here.


After my lunch break today I returned to the washrooms at the main beach here in Osoyoos. Which have been incredibly busy this weekend, needing two cleans each day and multiple restockings on paper towels and toilet paper.

Anyway. I go in to check on the men's washroom and only one of the two stalls was unoccupied. So I go check the women's side and then come back to see if I can have a look at the second stall.

Still someone in there.

Or so I thought.

Eventually I got tired of waiting (plus I was getting suspicious) and ducked down to find... nobody in there. But the door was locked.

Annoyed by the thought of someone purposely locking the door from the inside and then either crawling under the door (no way I was doing that) or climbing out the top, I went back to my work truck to get my litter grabber (since I figured I could reach the lock without having to climb in).

The walls on the stall, by the way, are maybe seven feet tall. Maybe closer to six and a half. I, on the other hand, am five foot eight inches tall.

So I use the top of the urinal next to the stall as a step to get myself up on the wall and grab for the lock. Got it, dropped down. And... nope I didn't. Tried again. Pretty sure I got it to slide all the way across. And completely sure the door still won't open.

Great. The lock is broken.

And now I had a completely different impression of the guy who was in there when it broke. Poor bastard.

Back to the truck. Grab a screwdriver. Climb up. Drop down inside the stall. Unscrew the lock. Try to fix it. Fail miserably. Back to the truck. Get a marker and a piece of paper. Write 'Lock broken Please knock before entering Thank you!". Tape it over the hole where the lock was. Make mental note to report the issue tomorrow morning so that the foreman can get someone to properly fix the lock. Leave to go clean Town Hall.

That, by the way, left out the first time I dropped into the stall, when I realized I couldn't get it unlocked by hand and I would need a screwdriver to open it.

I was pleased that I pulled that off without a) falling, or b) injuring myself in some awkward and impressive fashion. Was disappointed I couldn't fix it.

I think I impressed the two boys who were in there with their father, getting changed and dried off after being at the beach.

Hopefully I didn't give them any ideas of trying that themselves.

Sunday May 21st, 2017

The exercise:

Write about something or someone that is: unique.

Met a lovely couple (and their three dogs) at Cottonwood Beach this morning. They're not the first locals I've come across who don't think our local bylaws apply to them, but there were certainly the most unpleasant I've talked to.

I will only say two things about it. One, I am glad that I am not a bylaw enforcement officer. And two... whatever the enforcement officers get paid, it is not enough.

It was a hot one today. Combined with the long weekend crowds it felt like a summer preview.


I am a beautiful, one of a kind butterfly, to whom the rules clearly do not apply. They are for that lady, and that child, and most definitely that guy. But all these restrictions and limitations are not for I.

I am the exception to the rule, the epitome of cool, the smartest kid in school. Save your legislative guidance for all these other fools.

This life is mine, I am the pearl before these swine. I was created by a divine design, only entering this world when all of the stars were perfectly aligned.

I... you're writing me a ticket?

How much is the fine?!?