Sunday December 3rd, 2017

The exercise:

Write about something that is: ill-suited.

3 comments:

Greg said...

I'm flying back to Kiev today so I may not be able to write to the prompt until tomorrow. I know that the internet will be out when I get back and I don't know how long it will take to get it reinstated, sadly. But I will return and write!

Greg said...

Right, back in Kiev and everything is pretty much where it ought to be :)

Ill-suited
The séance-machine took up nearly two-thirds of the room. It has once been a pleasant solarium: it was at the top of the house and windows opened on all sides to let the sunlight in, as well as whichever wind was dominant at the time. Terracotta pots still stood around the room, filled or half-filled with black, friable soil which was bearing the brittle brown corpses of plants. The floor was flagged; huge stone squares that soaked up the sunlight and gave it back out only with reluctance, and were the only reason that the solarium was usable at night at all. And high up, hanging from the ceiling by jet-black cast-iron artistry, were two chandeliers of off-yellow candles burning smokily.
The machine itself was a long wooden box like a high table, with eight stools that seemed to grow organically out of it. The box was panelled, with each panel being carved with the details of a tarot card. At the top end of the box was the Emperor, and at the bottom was the Tower, and the positions in between seemed randomly chosen. Of course, they weren't.
"Robert, you have been chosen as the Knight Errant," said Lady Helena. Wax dripped from the candles and spattered on the top of the box. Luckily there was no wind this evening. "You may ask the first question."
"Shouldn't the spirit guide be here first?" Agatha was not at all convinced that Lady Helena was a lady. Lady Helena was also apparantly Russian, which seemed just a little bit too coincidental.
"No, that's the whole point of the séance machine," said Valeriy, who also claimed to be Russian, but at least he had an accent. Agatha thought it was a French accent, but her experience with foreign locales was limited to a two-week safari in Milton Keynes where she'd not been allowed to shoot the hired help. "The machine takes the place of the spirit guide. Mechanically replacing them with something deterministic, something that did not have a will of its own when it was alive. It allows us to navigate and explore the spirit world like scientists, instead of animals."
"I say," said Richard sounding upset. "I'm not an animal, thank-you very much. And scientists are... well, I'm sure they're wonderful people, and some of best friends have friends who are scientists, but they're responsible for smog, you know. And killer bees."
"Ahem," said Lady Helena. "Knight Errant. Questions. Please."
"Yes, well," said Richard. "So long as this isn't science...."
"No, no, it's not science. It's... art," said Lady Helena. "Beautiful, spiritual, art. Now ask your bloody question."
Agatha smiled, and Richard set his face in what he thought was the expression of a leader, though it actually made him look short-sighted. "At work today," he said, missing everyone's look of disappointment, "one of the young gels, a secretary I think, made a comment about her birthday suit." Everyone suddely looked much happier. "Should I get my Gloria a birthday suit?"
There was a moment of strained silence and then what might have been a muffled snigger. Lady Helena looked concerned and patted Valeriy on the back. She opened her mouth, but before she could speak the séance machine made a grating noise like corrugated iron being dragged across a cattle grid.
"That would be ill-suited," said a sepulchral voice that seemed to come from all around. "As Gloria has typhoid."
"She's got what now?" asked Richard as the other guests backed away as far as they could.

Marc said...

Greg - I'm glad you were on the receiving end of some prompt internet service! And I hope Kiev gave you a proper welcome to your new home :)

Fantastic intro to the scene, as usual, and then you went and filled it with interesting characters to boot. And I'm somehow left with the feeling that Richard is getting exactly what he deserves...