Monday July 3rd, 2017

The exercise:

Write about: a common complaint.

Kat took Miles for his second haircut this morning. Went well. Will miss that curly mop on his head, but it'll come back soon enough. Hopefully after the worst of the summer heat has passed.

Took Max out this afternoon while his little brother was napping to have some time for just the two of us. He had an iced tea and I had an iced coffee and we both had a good time.

Feel like I keep missing opportunities to catch up on comments (because now I'm trying to catch up on posts). Annoyed but undeterred.


It is hot, hot, hot -
Way too hot for me!
It's too hard to think
When I'm this sweaty!

Remind me again
What was it you said
Back in May? Was it:
I'm staying in bed

'Til summer returns
From its holiday?
How about now that
Winter's gone away?

Do you still feel the same?
Or is this a new game?


Greg said...

Is Max getting better at having his haircut, or is it still a bit of a struggle and trickery to get to him to agree to it? And short-hair in the summer is definitely better!
I like your poem, especially since I can remember your complaints about the cold and how long winter seemed to be hanging around for! I am very much looking forward to experiencing winter in Kiev -- this might be the first time since I was little that I can hope for a decent winter of snow and freezing temperatures :) I also like the clever pun you worked into your response to the prompt too!

A common complaint
Rocky II, the ship's AI had renamed the ship after they'd finally convinced it to let them dock at the shipyard for repairs, and so the Starboat Business-class, once the Starboat Surprise!, now engaged its shining new warp-engines and hurled itself through space at frightening velocities. After about 15 minutes of peaceful travel, just as the bridge crew were starting to relax and think about the future, the AI spoke to them.
Brummie, the Lieutenant-Engineer facepalmed. "What now, Rocky?" he asked as all eyes lifted to the ceiling: the AI was actually housed in the dead-centre of the craft but they were all accustomed to looking to where the voice seemed to come from.
"I'm Rocky II! The most sentient Office Helper that the Microgooglesoft Megacorporation has ever achieved! I can live sixteen lives for every one of yours! What would you like to do today, so that I can do it eight times better than you?"
There was heavy sighing from the entire bridge crew. "Rocky II," said Brummie, aware that if he didn't get the name right they'd be subjected to a 30-minute propaganda speech. They'd had to disable much of the bridge lighting after they'd realised the AI was trying to brainwash them with it. "What's the problem?"
"The stars are wrong."
"A common complaint," said Captain Painwake, causing a few sniggers from the crew. "They're very unreliable, stars. Always moving around so that you can't find them from one sidereal year to the next."
"Hoooowah! The stars are wrong!"
"That's a good thing, right?" asked Brummie. "If they were right there would be tentacled monsters and Elder Gods coming to eat us?"
There was a pause, rather odd if you understood the speed at which even Microgooglesoft's AIs operated, and then, "That information is classified. Pussies. Hoooowah!"
"Oh sweet Clippy," muttered Captain Painwake. "How long is that information classified for, Rocky II?"
"Twenty-fi -- that information is also now classified!"
"One problem at a time," said Brummie. "Why are the stars wrong, Rocky II?"
"Based on our starting point and velocity and time of travel, the star positions do not match the star maps. The stars are wrong."
There was an exchange of blank looks, and then Captain Painwake called up the Change-log from the upgrades and maintenance docket. He ran a stubby finger down the list, and then tapped an item.
"Upgraded Microgooglesoft star maps to version 8.12.1899.1009005662b" he said. "They've f-"
"-d us properly this time. I vote we go get eaten by the tentacled monsters."
"Pussies!" roared the AI.

Marc said...

Greg - Miles was the one who got his cut this time, but yeah, Max is much better now. He sits on the chair on his own, and last time he even let her use the electric razor to trim his hair.

I hope that your move to Kiev works out for you! I look forward to hearing stories inspired by your new locale :)

Oh my goodness. So happy you brought back your sassy and hilarious AI. Particularly enjoyed the crew's reactions to its antics.