The exercise:
Happy Valentine's Day! Write two haiku about: heaven.
Hey, I warned you I'd probably forget.
Mine:
All around I see
smiling faces, just for me...
except Val. That bitch.
* * *
Where is that music
coming from? It's like angels
singing! Right... that's us.
Surely you mean Happy Hallmark-cards day?
ReplyDeleteI like your first haiku better, mostly because this idea of most people going to heaven has to mean that most people are going to be miserable there. The second one is great for its subtlety though!
(As it goes, Constantine and Dogma both get a lot closer to my personal view of angels.)
Heaven
Left behind; I'm glad,
The rapture took you all off
And left me in charge!
-----
Angels playing games?
Frisbee with their halos? God
is quick to anger.
Heaven - haiku
ReplyDeletesome may think but I
know there’s a type of heaven
I see dead people
they fade in and out
of this - my reality
it’s peaceful to know
@Marc - replying to your comment from yesterday - yes there is death and destruction in Sarah's furture. You already got a sneek peek behind the scenes of it... Quiet a while ago, so you might not even remember when you get to the part it applies to. *grin*
ReplyDeleteFor today I like Haiku Two best.
@Greg - No halmark cards this valintine Day, though the hubby and I did get out for a Dinner Date. My treat. *grin*
I also like your Haiku Two better too.
@Writebite - Did you write those to flow together, because they do, and I like it.
Heaven
Playing harps all day
Sining in heavenly choirs
Please don't kill me now
*****
Playing in the clouds
Diving, weaving in and out
Angels holiday
Bonus Poetry
Because something Greg said reminded me of this gem I worte a while ago
Faries are Angels with unfeatherd wings.
Fliting about doing unangelic things.
CL, yes i do, seems that one haiku doesn't tell the whole story to me so i use the two to complete it. like the fairy def. btw :)
ReplyDeleteHeaven, on Earth
ReplyDeleteSun warming my face
Wet sand under shoeless feet
Waves roll up on shore
Colored shells abound
Shiny sun kissed bodies, Scents
hints of coconut
Sorry guys, still feeling under the weather. (Love your first Haiku Marc.)
ReplyDeleteFor what its worth, here is my attempt.
I open my eyes
and what do I see? Heaven.
A freshly made bed.
***
My legs are achy
my back is tired and sore.
Clean sheets smell awesome.
Fluffy clouds abound
ReplyDeleteBut don't kid yourself buddy,
This is the 'carrot'.
Angels strum their harps,
While eternity ticks by?
Sounds like a sentence.
Greg - happy Hallmark cards day was implied :P
ReplyDeleteTough to pick a favorite this week. I'll go with your first, as I've wished variations of that at some points in my life.
Writebite - I enjoy it when two haiku fit together like that. And I fully understand the trouble with squeezing everything into just 3 lines :)
Cathryn - haha, I very much like the idea of angels on holiday. Hmm, there's a story in there...
Anyway. Love the bonus poetry :D
Krystin - mmm, I could go for that kind of heaven right about now. The scent of coconut was a great touch, by the way.
Iron Bess - ugh, no fun. Hope you feel better soon.
It's the simple things in life that can make a world of difference sometime, hey? I like it.
GZ - I suspect we'd need to be gifted with an appreciation for harp music when we walk through the gates :P
The thing is, I quite like Harp music (it helps to have talented a friend who happen to be a Harpist)...but...eternity of *anything* is not how we're made. How long before all those people in 'Heaven' are trying to off themselves in creative ways just to escape it. I'll take the one shot we get and try not to screw it up too badly.
ReplyDeleteYup, anything that stretches into eternity would eventually become hell.
ReplyDeleteGZ & Iron Bess - agreed. Variety, spice, life, yadda yadda yadda...
ReplyDelete