Welcoming committee makes it sounds like they were all waiting for you when you arrived and insisted on doing everything together as a swarm for the morning. Are you sure this is the job you want? :-D
The welcoming committee "Get your filthy hands off me! Do you even wash them before touching decent people? Your mother was a Wisp-elf and your father lurked in thornbushes spying on her toilet!" Fabian face-palmed reflexively, the slap of his hand hitting his forehead managing to fall between epithets and resounding across the lawn. Cass, who apparently hadn't recognised the voice, though Fabian had, turned to see what the commotion was just as the Fire Officer strode up. He was a short, tubby man in a red-and-white uniform with a shiny helmet adorned with a glittering badge that showcased the fire triangle. "What's all this then? And are you all evacuated now?" he said, his voice deep and authoritarian. He sounded like he spent his days training dogs to behave properly and Fabian noticed that he had a very trim moustache with a separation below his nose so that it was almost like two independent moustaches, one on either side of his face. There was a faint smell of oil and ash lingering around him. "Thief! This... this mind-scrabbler is a thief as well! Just as I suspected!" That was the Maestro and Fabian focused on the Fire Official, offering a silent prayer that Cass would take the hint and deal with the Maestro and the Mage. "Yes," he said without hesitation, though strictly speaking Cass hadn't given him enough information to say that. "This is our... welcoming committee? Perhaps?" "You were slow," said the Fire Official. He produced a tablet from somewhere and Fabian blinked, puzzled that he couldn't work out where it had come from. "Though not so slow that it's an actual problem, just slow enough that I can tell you off about it." He winked. "Make him take his filthy hands off me or I'm calling for help!" The Mage, Framer, as Fabian recalled, was starting to sound hysterical but he stoically refused to look over. "How slow do we have to be for it to be a problem then?" he asked.
"Are you asking because you're planning on being slower?" The Fire Official sounded stern but now Fabian knew what he was looking for he could see a twinkle in his eyes and a twist to his lip that might be a smirk. "So that I can update our hiring policy to make sure we don't hire anyone that slow," said Fabian, risking a smile of his own. The Fire Official tapped the side of his nose and chuckled. "Goes against equality policies, that," he said. "But I'm sure it would never come up in an audit if it were... unwritten, say.--" "Maestro, you can put him down. He's not one of our employees, though if he were--" Cass was sounding like an offended teacher, which was probably a good thing, thought Fabian. "--and I certainly wouldn't score you, say an extra five points higher, if I thought you were going to do that," said the Fire Official, tapping his tablet. "Understood," said Fabian, smiling broadly now. This was the kind of negotiation he liked. Equal minds meeting on matters where they both understood what was important. "Do you have any specific recommendations?" "You have to keep their thumbs apart," said the Maestro, who seemingly wasn't letting go of the mage. "Otherwise they do things to your head." "Less drama," said the Fire Official peering around Fabian. "It's a bit early in the day for all this shouting. But otherwise, the usual. It'll all be in the report; I'll send it over this afternoon." "Thanks," said Fabian. He wondered if there was anything else he could say to keep the Fire Official talking, but the man was already walking away. With a sinking feeling, Fabian realised he'd have to find out what the Maestro and the mage were up to now.
Greg - hah, no. I just felt very welcomed by everyone I met, the team in particular :)
I quite admire Fabian's ability to ignore the bratty children fighting in the background. And I'm pleased that at least he was able to come to an agreement with the Fire Official!
3 comments:
Welcoming committee makes it sounds like they were all waiting for you when you arrived and insisted on doing everything together as a swarm for the morning. Are you sure this is the job you want? :-D
The welcoming committee
"Get your filthy hands off me! Do you even wash them before touching decent people? Your mother was a Wisp-elf and your father lurked in thornbushes spying on her toilet!"
Fabian face-palmed reflexively, the slap of his hand hitting his forehead managing to fall between epithets and resounding across the lawn. Cass, who apparently hadn't recognised the voice, though Fabian had, turned to see what the commotion was just as the Fire Officer strode up. He was a short, tubby man in a red-and-white uniform with a shiny helmet adorned with a glittering badge that showcased the fire triangle.
"What's all this then? And are you all evacuated now?" he said, his voice deep and authoritarian. He sounded like he spent his days training dogs to behave properly and Fabian noticed that he had a very trim moustache with a separation below his nose so that it was almost like two independent moustaches, one on either side of his face. There was a faint smell of oil and ash lingering around him.
"Thief! This... this mind-scrabbler is a thief as well! Just as I suspected!" That was the Maestro and Fabian focused on the Fire Official, offering a silent prayer that Cass would take the hint and deal with the Maestro and the Mage.
"Yes," he said without hesitation, though strictly speaking Cass hadn't given him enough information to say that. "This is our... welcoming committee? Perhaps?"
"You were slow," said the Fire Official. He produced a tablet from somewhere and Fabian blinked, puzzled that he couldn't work out where it had come from. "Though not so slow that it's an actual problem, just slow enough that I can tell you off about it." He winked.
"Make him take his filthy hands off me or I'm calling for help!" The Mage, Framer, as Fabian recalled, was starting to sound hysterical but he stoically refused to look over.
"How slow do we have to be for it to be a problem then?" he asked.
"Are you asking because you're planning on being slower?" The Fire Official sounded stern but now Fabian knew what he was looking for he could see a twinkle in his eyes and a twist to his lip that might be a smirk.
"So that I can update our hiring policy to make sure we don't hire anyone that slow," said Fabian, risking a smile of his own. The Fire Official tapped the side of his nose and chuckled.
"Goes against equality policies, that," he said. "But I'm sure it would never come up in an audit if it were... unwritten, say.--"
"Maestro, you can put him down. He's not one of our employees, though if he were--" Cass was sounding like an offended teacher, which was probably a good thing, thought Fabian.
"--and I certainly wouldn't score you, say an extra five points higher, if I thought you were going to do that," said the Fire Official, tapping his tablet.
"Understood," said Fabian, smiling broadly now. This was the kind of negotiation he liked. Equal minds meeting on matters where they both understood what was important. "Do you have any specific recommendations?"
"You have to keep their thumbs apart," said the Maestro, who seemingly wasn't letting go of the mage. "Otherwise they do things to your head."
"Less drama," said the Fire Official peering around Fabian. "It's a bit early in the day for all this shouting. But otherwise, the usual. It'll all be in the report; I'll send it over this afternoon."
"Thanks," said Fabian. He wondered if there was anything else he could say to keep the Fire Official talking, but the man was already walking away. With a sinking feeling, Fabian realised he'd have to find out what the Maestro and the mage were up to now.
Greg - hah, no. I just felt very welcomed by everyone I met, the team in particular :)
I quite admire Fabian's ability to ignore the bratty children fighting in the background. And I'm pleased that at least he was able to come to an agreement with the Fire Official!
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