Oh dear, this sounds like you decided to complete the report in unconventional and dramatic fashion and discovered too late that everything was fireproof....
Fireproof Fabian reached his office with two cardboard boxes; one containing his figurines and the other containing the Museum's. The Maestro had considered for a surprisingly long time and had eventually suggested that Fabian take the Museum's figurines for 'appraisal' and depending on the outcome of that, he would then consider again whether or not to bring an outside expert in. Cass was standing outside his door, tapping her foot. "Where were you?" she said. "It's rude not to be available when people need to talk to you." "Do we have a meeting now?" Fabian was sure that he had no meetings planned for today; his calendar was blocked out with placeholders to allow him time to catch up on reports and document signing. There was a stack of paperwork on his desk that was starting to accumulate dust and he felt embarrassed every time he looked at it. "No, but I need to talk to you." Fabian unlocked his office and his tablet pinged. That set off his memory and as he opened the door he said, "Actually, Cass, I have something for you as well. Did we ever get the final report from the Assessors regarding the audit? Only we have to show that at the next audit, and I'm sure I haven't signed it off." He set the boxes down on his desk and turned round, wondering why Cass wasn't speaking. She was still standing in the doorway, one foot just lifted off the ground, and he wondered for a moment if she'd been struck by a stasis spell. "No," she said slowly. "No, I have a process for those reports. We haven't received it yet." "Can you chase it up, please? If it's gone missing then let's make sure everyone knows that it wasn't our fault." "Yes," said Cass thoughtfully. Then, a little more forcefully, "yes, absolutely." She smiled and Fabian felt a little frisson of dread; Cass had clearly thought of a way to leverage this to get something else she wanted, and he sincerely hoped it wasn't still about a tour of the Halls of Sunset. "Now," said Cass and she came into the room and closed the door behind her with an ominous click. "Let's talk about what you promised the Fire Official."
As Fabian left the Museum that evening he found himself wishing fervently that the entire place was fireproof so that fire drills were unnecessary. Although it would be better if that could be retroactively applied and thus undo four hours sitting with Cass and discussing unwritten hiring policies and why they were a Very Bad Thing. The ping of his tablet was a welcome diversion from his spiraling thoughts, and he looked down to see that it was a message from Dread. He smiled and tapped the icon to call Dread rather than write a reply to him. "Hello?" "Is there any magic that could make the entire Museum fireproof?" asked Fabian, turning left from the Museum's main gate and heading towards the river. "You don't need magic for that," said Dread. "Just a lot of inert gas. Were you planning on using the Museum for anything afterwards though?" "Hah. I just want to avoid having Cass explain to me in detail that hiring policies are her remit and I'm not allowed to interfere in them." "Ah, sounds like you've had a tough day then!" "You could say that. I'm heading home now." There was a note of hope in Fabian's voice as he said that. "Sorry old friend," said Dread. "I'm currently on board the Harvester and won't be back until Friday. There have been sightings of large spoor... and when I think about it, you shouldn't know about that, so forget I just said it. I've gone sightseeing, for the good of my health." Fabian laughed. "Well, it would have been nice to have a shoulder to cry on," he said, "but then maybe I shouldn't let Cass drive me to that anyway. Enjoy your sightseeing, and I hope you don't stumble across anything too big to shoot. With your camera, obviously." "Obviously," said Dread. "Before I go though, it's come to my attention that the Assessor's have decided to audit the Geology Bureau. Which is odd, as they only audited it 18 months ago." "That is strange," said Fabian. "But I think you've figured out why, haven't you?" "It's a guess," said Dread, "but that Bureau covers all the mines in the Empire in its remit, and if you were looking for a supply of rare metals to make a certain Staff with, then you might appreciate unrestricted access to the mines."
Greg - I legitimately can't imagine anything more frustrating than getting to the point where you decide to set something on fire rather than continue dealing with it, only to discover it's fireproof. Ugh.
Hah, feel for Fabian. Also the continuing machinations of the Assessors remain both intriguing and entertaining.
3 comments:
Oh dear, this sounds like you decided to complete the report in unconventional and dramatic fashion and discovered too late that everything was fireproof....
Fireproof
Fabian reached his office with two cardboard boxes; one containing his figurines and the other containing the Museum's. The Maestro had considered for a surprisingly long time and had eventually suggested that Fabian take the Museum's figurines for 'appraisal' and depending on the outcome of that, he would then consider again whether or not to bring an outside expert in. Cass was standing outside his door, tapping her foot.
"Where were you?" she said. "It's rude not to be available when people need to talk to you."
"Do we have a meeting now?" Fabian was sure that he had no meetings planned for today; his calendar was blocked out with placeholders to allow him time to catch up on reports and document signing. There was a stack of paperwork on his desk that was starting to accumulate dust and he felt embarrassed every time he looked at it.
"No, but I need to talk to you."
Fabian unlocked his office and his tablet pinged. That set off his memory and as he opened the door he said, "Actually, Cass, I have something for you as well. Did we ever get the final report from the Assessors regarding the audit? Only we have to show that at the next audit, and I'm sure I haven't signed it off."
He set the boxes down on his desk and turned round, wondering why Cass wasn't speaking. She was still standing in the doorway, one foot just lifted off the ground, and he wondered for a moment if she'd been struck by a stasis spell.
"No," she said slowly. "No, I have a process for those reports. We haven't received it yet."
"Can you chase it up, please? If it's gone missing then let's make sure everyone knows that it wasn't our fault."
"Yes," said Cass thoughtfully. Then, a little more forcefully, "yes, absolutely." She smiled and Fabian felt a little frisson of dread; Cass had clearly thought of a way to leverage this to get something else she wanted, and he sincerely hoped it wasn't still about a tour of the Halls of Sunset. "Now," said Cass and she came into the room and closed the door behind her with an ominous click. "Let's talk about what you promised the Fire Official."
As Fabian left the Museum that evening he found himself wishing fervently that the entire place was fireproof so that fire drills were unnecessary. Although it would be better if that could be retroactively applied and thus undo four hours sitting with Cass and discussing unwritten hiring policies and why they were a Very Bad Thing. The ping of his tablet was a welcome diversion from his spiraling thoughts, and he looked down to see that it was a message from Dread. He smiled and tapped the icon to call Dread rather than write a reply to him.
"Hello?"
"Is there any magic that could make the entire Museum fireproof?" asked Fabian, turning left from the Museum's main gate and heading towards the river.
"You don't need magic for that," said Dread. "Just a lot of inert gas. Were you planning on using the Museum for anything afterwards though?"
"Hah. I just want to avoid having Cass explain to me in detail that hiring policies are her remit and I'm not allowed to interfere in them."
"Ah, sounds like you've had a tough day then!"
"You could say that. I'm heading home now." There was a note of hope in Fabian's voice as he said that.
"Sorry old friend," said Dread. "I'm currently on board the Harvester and won't be back until Friday. There have been sightings of large spoor... and when I think about it, you shouldn't know about that, so forget I just said it. I've gone sightseeing, for the good of my health."
Fabian laughed. "Well, it would have been nice to have a shoulder to cry on," he said, "but then maybe I shouldn't let Cass drive me to that anyway. Enjoy your sightseeing, and I hope you don't stumble across anything too big to shoot. With your camera, obviously."
"Obviously," said Dread. "Before I go though, it's come to my attention that the Assessor's have decided to audit the Geology Bureau. Which is odd, as they only audited it 18 months ago."
"That is strange," said Fabian. "But I think you've figured out why, haven't you?"
"It's a guess," said Dread, "but that Bureau covers all the mines in the Empire in its remit, and if you were looking for a supply of rare metals to make a certain Staff with, then you might appreciate unrestricted access to the mines."
Greg - I legitimately can't imagine anything more frustrating than getting to the point where you decide to set something on fire rather than continue dealing with it, only to discover it's fireproof. Ugh.
Hah, feel for Fabian. Also the continuing machinations of the Assessors remain both intriguing and entertaining.
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