Are you going to a concert, coming back from one, or assassinating someone at one? Oh no... someone hired you to assassinate Lady Gaga and you offered to do it for free...?
In concert "This is nice," said Tigger. He looked around at the crowd; hundreds of people gathered together at the edge of Hundred Acre Wood to drink, dance and listen to the concert artists perform. "Why have we never done this before?" On stage Counting Crows started into The Rain King. Kanga waved her arms in the air and Roo, perched in her pouch, joined in. "Well, there were always issues before," she said in between singing along to the lyrics. Tigger found himself admiring how tuneful she was. "Owl would never grant permission for anyone to set up here for one, and there were questions about where people would camp and go to the toilet and... well, all those kinds of things that have to be dealt with but that people forget about until the mess is made." "That's all sorted out now?" Kanga nodded and started jumping up and down. Her tail swept out behind her to keep her balance, and she knocked a whole row of concert-goers into the bushes. "Sort of," she said. "Well, no, in fact. But Owl has realised what Pooh was up to before he disappeared and he wants a scapegoat." "A what?" Tigger's ideas of goat all involved curry. "Well," said Kanga, still bouncing. Roo was starting to to turn green and look travel-sick. "Owl's pretty certain now that Pooh killed Eyeore and Piglet and ate at least one of them. He's also been saying he thinks that Pooh might have forced Piglet to invite his family to the Wood too, so that Pooh could maximise how much bacon he got. He also thinks that Pooh probably killed and ate Lenny Leveret and probably murdered about eighteen humans. Including Christopher Robin." "Pooh?" Tigger's eyes were huge with surprise. "But Pooh was always so gentle! He ate honey!" "Honey bacon, and probably honey-donkey," said Kanga. "Owl was saying that he thinks Pooh will eat anything provided it bleeds the right colour." Roo threw up just as the song came to an end. "So Owl is covering all this up?" Kanga waited to see what the next song would be -- August and everything after -- before sighing and shaking her head, then starting bouncing again. "Someone's helped Pooh cover this up," she said. "He's in a witness protection programme somewhere, which is not the recommended way to deal with prolific serial killers. So Owl is worried that Pooh and his friends have done this to frame someone else, so Owl's trying to cover all the tracks up as much as possible before that happens. Hence the concert." "So is Owl here too?" Tigger craned his neck to look around. "Owl's murdering a handful of concert-goers," said Kanga. "With honey-pots. Just to confuse the issue even further."
Greg - listen, I thought we'd agreed I've come around on the good Lady of Gaga. As to what actually inspired the prompt... um... maybe something I watched on YouTube? A video of a live concert, perhaps.
Ah, another obviously factual visit to the Wood. I appreciate Kanga's matter of factness in the face of all this casual horror.
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Are you going to a concert, coming back from one, or assassinating someone at one? Oh no... someone hired you to assassinate Lady Gaga and you offered to do it for free...?
In concert
"This is nice," said Tigger. He looked around at the crowd; hundreds of people gathered together at the edge of Hundred Acre Wood to drink, dance and listen to the concert artists perform. "Why have we never done this before?"
On stage Counting Crows started into The Rain King.
Kanga waved her arms in the air and Roo, perched in her pouch, joined in. "Well, there were always issues before," she said in between singing along to the lyrics. Tigger found himself admiring how tuneful she was. "Owl would never grant permission for anyone to set up here for one, and there were questions about where people would camp and go to the toilet and... well, all those kinds of things that have to be dealt with but that people forget about until the mess is made."
"That's all sorted out now?"
Kanga nodded and started jumping up and down. Her tail swept out behind her to keep her balance, and she knocked a whole row of concert-goers into the bushes.
"Sort of," she said. "Well, no, in fact. But Owl has realised what Pooh was up to before he disappeared and he wants a scapegoat."
"A what?" Tigger's ideas of goat all involved curry.
"Well," said Kanga, still bouncing. Roo was starting to to turn green and look travel-sick. "Owl's pretty certain now that Pooh killed Eyeore and Piglet and ate at least one of them. He's also been saying he thinks that Pooh might have forced Piglet to invite his family to the Wood too, so that Pooh could maximise how much bacon he got. He also thinks that Pooh probably killed and ate Lenny Leveret and probably murdered about eighteen humans. Including Christopher Robin."
"Pooh?" Tigger's eyes were huge with surprise. "But Pooh was always so gentle! He ate honey!"
"Honey bacon, and probably honey-donkey," said Kanga. "Owl was saying that he thinks Pooh will eat anything provided it bleeds the right colour."
Roo threw up just as the song came to an end.
"So Owl is covering all this up?"
Kanga waited to see what the next song would be -- August and everything after -- before sighing and shaking her head, then starting bouncing again. "Someone's helped Pooh cover this up," she said. "He's in a witness protection programme somewhere, which is not the recommended way to deal with prolific serial killers. So Owl is worried that Pooh and his friends have done this to frame someone else, so Owl's trying to cover all the tracks up as much as possible before that happens. Hence the concert."
"So is Owl here too?" Tigger craned his neck to look around.
"Owl's murdering a handful of concert-goers," said Kanga. "With honey-pots. Just to confuse the issue even further."
Greg - listen, I thought we'd agreed I've come around on the good Lady of Gaga. As to what actually inspired the prompt... um... maybe something I watched on YouTube? A video of a live concert, perhaps.
Ah, another obviously factual visit to the Wood. I appreciate Kanga's matter of factness in the face of all this casual horror.
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