Well, mostly inspired by what's in the news at the moment (though hopefully it will be history by the time you get round to commenting on it), let me present:
The Policy "Rising costs, due to inflation, and economic hardship have become a bleak reality for many people today," said the Minister. He was stood in the Hall of Equals, as was traditional, at the Chancellor's Podium. It was a tall, ebony thing with a wide top for the three-ring binder he was looking at to be laid out flat on top. Behind him were a series of three large screens, arranged as a triptych, onto which were currently projected the budget figures he was proposing, the budget figures for the previous year, and two pie charts which showed a change of some kind. No-one in the audience had been able to figure out what the change was supposed to be though, and the charts were -- so far -- unlabelled. "As you can see, we are proposing to subsidise some business -- specifically the funeral care sector, hospices of all kinds, and crematoria -- and we will find the money from that by taxing charities, raising the cost of entering into a managed-care facility, and requiring payment for all hospital and medical services." A smattering of applause for this policy started and then died out quickly as what he'd said actually reached the brains of his listeners. A momentary resurgence in applause happened from some of the dimmer ones, but that died away too as their neighbours glared at them, and in some cases forcibly set their hands down. "The subsidy of previous years on basic food items will be cut entirely," said the Minister. "Redistributing the pain through taxation so that everyone shares in it equally is not a good policy for an election year." No applause at all now, though everyone was listening intently. Where was the Minister taking this? "Instead, we shall let the free market and the invisible hands take their course and have free rein," he said. "There will be deaths. There will be suffering. But those whose survive will be battle-hardened. Just like those of our ancestors who survived privation and starvation, the fittest will come through and the needs of evolution will be served. And, importantly, the weak and the feeble; those most likely to object to these policies, will have starved to death by the time the election is called." Applause started up again, though it was hesitant. The audience thought that perhaps this was a good end, even if the means seemed drastic. "And so," and finally labels appeared on the pie chart, "the expected impact of these policies on the demographics of the country are shown here, on these pie charts. You will note that we will emerge from this a leaner, fitter, younger country. And since we are the only country willing to enact this policy, we will be the only country in a position to expand our territory and ease our suffering through conquest!"
2 comments:
Well, mostly inspired by what's in the news at the moment (though hopefully it will be history by the time you get round to commenting on it), let me present:
The Policy
"Rising costs, due to inflation, and economic hardship have become a bleak reality for many people today," said the Minister. He was stood in the Hall of Equals, as was traditional, at the Chancellor's Podium. It was a tall, ebony thing with a wide top for the three-ring binder he was looking at to be laid out flat on top. Behind him were a series of three large screens, arranged as a triptych, onto which were currently projected the budget figures he was proposing, the budget figures for the previous year, and two pie charts which showed a change of some kind. No-one in the audience had been able to figure out what the change was supposed to be though, and the charts were -- so far -- unlabelled.
"As you can see, we are proposing to subsidise some business -- specifically the funeral care sector, hospices of all kinds, and crematoria -- and we will find the money from that by taxing charities, raising the cost of entering into a managed-care facility, and requiring payment for all hospital and medical services."
A smattering of applause for this policy started and then died out quickly as what he'd said actually reached the brains of his listeners. A momentary resurgence in applause happened from some of the dimmer ones, but that died away too as their neighbours glared at them, and in some cases forcibly set their hands down.
"The subsidy of previous years on basic food items will be cut entirely," said the Minister. "Redistributing the pain through taxation so that everyone shares in it equally is not a good policy for an election year."
No applause at all now, though everyone was listening intently. Where was the Minister taking this?
"Instead, we shall let the free market and the invisible hands take their course and have free rein," he said. "There will be deaths. There will be suffering. But those whose survive will be battle-hardened. Just like those of our ancestors who survived privation and starvation, the fittest will come through and the needs of evolution will be served. And, importantly, the weak and the feeble; those most likely to object to these policies, will have starved to death by the time the election is called."
Applause started up again, though it was hesitant. The audience thought that perhaps this was a good end, even if the means seemed drastic.
"And so," and finally labels appeared on the pie chart, "the expected impact of these policies on the demographics of the country are shown here, on these pie charts. You will note that we will emerge from this a leaner, fitter, younger country. And since we are the only country willing to enact this policy, we will be the only country in a position to expand our territory and ease our suffering through conquest!"
Greg - yeah, distant history. All solved now.
Annoyed that I find this both horrific and sensible. Or at least that I can see why this would work, for the survivors at any rate.
I should go to bed before I incriminate myself further...
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