The exercise:
Write about: the balm.
Bit of a mixed bag at the bakery today. End results weren't too bad, but I think the rain put a bit of a damper on things.
Thankfully it finally let off mid-afternoon and the sun came out shortly afterward, as Max had his first outdoor soccer practice at 5:30.
Kat won a gift certificate for his registration costs as a door prize a while back and he's been pretty excited to get started. We'd already picked up some cleats for him and today he got a uniform to go with it.
And, since I was worried he'd need some extra help, what with being one of the youngest kids there, I offered to be one of the assistant coaches. Also because I needed some training before I could become a professional cat herder?
Anyway, it was pretty fun. Seems like a good group of kids, and I'm looking forward to getting to know them better and enjoying some time running around outside as the weather gets nicer and nicer over the next few months.
Mine:
In the swirling, turning, burning
Chaos of my life
You are a grounding, soothing,
Calming balm.
As required as air,
As necessary as food,
You are a protecting,
Sheltering oasis,
Like water in this
Desert of a city
Thank you, my darling,
For all of it.
The years have been kind
Because of you;
I can't imagine what
I would've done
If I had been one
All along
Instead of two.
3 comments:
Beeswax and
Aloe a soothing
Lotion
Make.
@Morganna: you beat me to it! I was also intending to write an acrostic of Balm -- and you've done a lot better than my effort too. Still, I'll put mine up since I do the practice :) I really like the way the poem slows down towards the end, as though the soothing action has started already.
@Marc: I guess it's better for the rain to stop before soccer than it would be for a sunny day while you're inside the bakery and then raining during soccer! It sounds like you've definitely got a job there, but it should be a rewarding one, and maybe you'll train some of the next national team players :)
That's a very sweet poem, and the first and third verses work really well, but for me the second one feels a bit off. I think it's because you mention an oasis three lines from the end, and the next two lines really just repeat it, but with many more words. I wonder if it might work better if you just dropped those two lines?
Balm
Balm, not embalming fluid!
A metaphorical fire consumes my skin,
Licking at my nerve endings.
Most painfully, I'm not dead yet!
Morganna - it always amazes me how few words you require to pull off meaningful acrostics. This is no exception, clearly.
Greg - yeah, I'm still disappointed that my new job has taken me away from so many soccer sessions. Another sacrifice that needed to be made right now I suppose.
I think dropping those lines improves the poem, so thank you yet again for the suggestion.
Hah, that's a fine acrostic as well. You guys are making me want to write one myself! And it is Saturday... hmm. Perhaps it's time to take a break from replying to all these backlogged comments and go write today's post.
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