The exercise:
Write about: the old dog.
A bit of a return to normalcy at the bakery today, as I had about 12 loaves to put in the freezer but no croissants, cinnamon buns, butter tarts, or focaccia.
More of the same tomorrow, please.
Mine:
The years have slowed me
Down.
My limp's no good,
This cough ain't healthy...
But
If you think I'm done,
That I've lost my fun,
Well then soon you'll see
I've still got a few
New tricks up my sleeve.
2 comments:
Do you not count the focaccia as loaves then? For me they're bread, so they're loaves even though they're often a lot flatter than a tin-loaf. Still, it sounds like a good day at the bakery if all the sweet stuff got sold!
I like the fact that there's life in your old dog yet, and that new tricks aren't perhaps that hard to learn! The two short, one-word lines are very effective too, in conveying a certain amount of weariness and an abrupt stop; contrasting that with the lighter, longer sentences that come really bring your dog to life.
The old dog
Sore paws from walking
For a lifetime
In his master's footsteps
Grey hairs from a lifetime
Of experience. Four sets of footsteps
Wear away paths made for walking.
Blind now, his nose follows footsteps
His ankles tremble but he keeps walking
As he has done for a lifetime
Walking takes a lifetime in these footsteps.
Greg - yes, well, I suppose the focaccia are loaves as well. They're displayed in the same case as the croissants and cinnamon buns though, so I tended to think of them differently that the other loaves.
Thanks again for the kind words on mine :)
Oof, this one hits me hard. The emotion here is captured and conveyed with great delicacy. I am impressed.
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