Hmm, something that needs upgrading? I'm not sure where to go with that, but maybe... maybe Sixticton? There must be something there that's in need of improvement, surely :)
Upgrade "Snakes can swim. We want to upgrade them so that they can fly as well. Let's give them access to places that are otherwise hard to reach." Evan Bolton was a short, squat, hairy man. Hair sprouted from his ears in tufts, and his eyebrows looked like a cornfield gone to seed. His beard reached down to mid-chest and even his ankles, peeping out between the bottom of his frayed trousers and his battered shoes, were wreathed in ginger hair. He also looked faintly nauseated at the idea of upgrading snakes so that they could fly. "This seems like a bad idea," he said. He waved a hand at the window, through which rolling grassland could be seen. The sky was blue, with a few white clouds dotted here and there, and it looked warm. "There's not much in the way of natural predators for snakes out there anyway. Adding to their abilities is going to make them expand their population. They'll become a dominant species in the local food chain. Why would you want that?" Graham looked at his twin brother, Gavin, who nodded back. "Sixticton has an overpopulation problem," he said. "Normally we'd just arrange for a natural disaster like an asbestos explosion, or a volcanic eruption. But people are getting suspicious about this; even the last eruption of Old Faithless triggered an investigation by geologists. The schoolchildren that got lost in the caves and set up a pre-feudal society have mostly died of various cave-borne illnesses now, so we can't set them loose on the town. And Geraldinium Holmes is... unavailable this winter." Evan looked perplexed. "You... you're responsible for the volcano?" he said. "How?" "Does it matter?" asked Gavin. "But basically we just upgraded the standard science project a touch." "Right. I don't understand that at all," said Evan. "So... you want me to find you a flying snake?" "No," said Graham patiently. "We want you to upgrade snakes in general so that they can fly. You're the best microbiologist around here." "I'm the only one," said Evan bluntly. "And I wouldn't be here if Vancouver University were so small-minded and provincial." "Yes," said Gavin. "There was that incident with the student and the horses, wasn't there? You were -- successfully! -- breeding centaurs." "Ah," said Evan realising he was in a corner. "So flying snakes should be easy," said Gavin. "Ah. Well, attaching wings to snakes is not easy," said Evan, wriggling. "In fact, getting enough muscle of the right kind in there for wings is going to be tricky. We'll probably need to put them all along the length of the snake--" "No wings," said Graham. "Upgrade the snake to have some kind of rocket propulsion. So it can just launch itself from the ground, or tree-branch, or water, and fly like an arrow to its target." "Oh that's much easier," said Evan, his mind running with the idea. "I've got a good starting point for that." Graham and Gavin grinned at each other.
2 comments:
Hmm, something that needs upgrading? I'm not sure where to go with that, but maybe... maybe Sixticton? There must be something there that's in need of improvement, surely :)
Upgrade
"Snakes can swim. We want to upgrade them so that they can fly as well. Let's give them access to places that are otherwise hard to reach."
Evan Bolton was a short, squat, hairy man. Hair sprouted from his ears in tufts, and his eyebrows looked like a cornfield gone to seed. His beard reached down to mid-chest and even his ankles, peeping out between the bottom of his frayed trousers and his battered shoes, were wreathed in ginger hair. He also looked faintly nauseated at the idea of upgrading snakes so that they could fly.
"This seems like a bad idea," he said. He waved a hand at the window, through which rolling grassland could be seen. The sky was blue, with a few white clouds dotted here and there, and it looked warm. "There's not much in the way of natural predators for snakes out there anyway. Adding to their abilities is going to make them expand their population. They'll become a dominant species in the local food chain. Why would you want that?"
Graham looked at his twin brother, Gavin, who nodded back. "Sixticton has an overpopulation problem," he said. "Normally we'd just arrange for a natural disaster like an asbestos explosion, or a volcanic eruption. But people are getting suspicious about this; even the last eruption of Old Faithless triggered an investigation by geologists. The schoolchildren that got lost in the caves and set up a pre-feudal society have mostly died of various cave-borne illnesses now, so we can't set them loose on the town. And Geraldinium Holmes is... unavailable this winter."
Evan looked perplexed. "You... you're responsible for the volcano?" he said. "How?"
"Does it matter?" asked Gavin. "But basically we just upgraded the standard science project a touch."
"Right. I don't understand that at all," said Evan. "So... you want me to find you a flying snake?"
"No," said Graham patiently. "We want you to upgrade snakes in general so that they can fly. You're the best microbiologist around here."
"I'm the only one," said Evan bluntly. "And I wouldn't be here if Vancouver University were so small-minded and provincial."
"Yes," said Gavin. "There was that incident with the student and the horses, wasn't there? You were -- successfully! -- breeding centaurs."
"Ah," said Evan realising he was in a corner.
"So flying snakes should be easy," said Gavin.
"Ah. Well, attaching wings to snakes is not easy," said Evan, wriggling. "In fact, getting enough muscle of the right kind in there for wings is going to be tricky. We'll probably need to put them all along the length of the snake--"
"No wings," said Graham. "Upgrade the snake to have some kind of rocket propulsion. So it can just launch itself from the ground, or tree-branch, or water, and fly like an arrow to its target."
"Oh that's much easier," said Evan, his mind running with the idea. "I've got a good starting point for that."
Graham and Gavin grinned at each other.
Greg - surely just about everything.
Nope. Just read the first paragraph and nothing that follows will convince me that opening has even the smallest hint of merit.
Yup, still nope.
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