A loophole "Why am I here?" Archibald Vergnood, Solicitor, looked around him. He was wearing a pin-striped suit and carrying a matching umbrella and briefcase -- getting a pin-striped briefcase had required a trip to Jermyn Street and a surprising sum of money, but the cases he was getting these days afforded that -- and looking slightly bewildered.
But only slightly, noted Titania, Queen of the Fairies, the Fey, and the Changelings. In fact, when she paid close attention she noted that he was also paying close attention, and the bewilderment was superficial at best.
"I am hiring your services," she said, smiling. Around her tiny firefly sized fairies darted through the air glowing brightly, illuminating patches of her woodland grove -- her court for the moment -- and startling butterflies into flight. There was a smell of red fruit -- red currants, raspberries and the like -- on the air, and a gentle breeze moved it around tantalizingly. The sun was shining, but the broad leaves on the trees above dappled it into something warming and comforting. It was, in short, seductive. And appeared to have little effect on Archibald.
"You need to make an appointment," he said, tapping the point of his umbrella on a nearby log. A frog croaked behind it, sounding disappointed. Titania raised an eyebrow fractionally, more in surprise that the frog had responded to him than at his incautious effrontery. "My secretary handles them, and then we can meet in... more salubrious surroundings."
Titania sighed and waved a hand. Faerie magic streamed about her in a blaze of blue and white and gold and the forest wavered for a moment and then crystallised somehow. Trees became tall, marble clad pillars; the gaps between them became glass-paned windows looking over a cityscape; the moss became hotel-quality carpet and the log became an expensive mahogany desk with two leather chairs, one either side, at it.
"Better?" she said. "I mean, I'm the client, I'm sure I should have some say in where we meet and how it looks. But if this makes you feel more comfortable...." There was a hint of acid in her words.
Archibald sat down opposite Titania and smiled thinly. "You're not a client until I have accepted you," he said. "And generally that's only after the first deposit has cleared, and since you are clearly Titania, Queen of the Faeries, there will certainly be a checking of any such funds in the morning light. Dry leaves are... less valuable than you may apprise them yourself."
"I see." There was tension rising between them. "But I can make a deposit, whatever suits you."
"There are background checks," said Archibald. "I have a reputation...." Titania snarled. "But let me see, what is you want first? I may not be the right person to consult, after all."
"You are."
"I don't handle divorces or family matters."
"I don't need a divorce." Now she had him, the look on his face betrayed, just for two seconds, that he'd thought this was all about her idiot husband Oberon. "What I want is a new contract for when I'm dealing with mortals. They keep finding loopholes in the existing ones."
Archibald smiled, and all the tension dropped away.
Greg - if you are familiar with the work of Garfunkel and Oates, then you will know where the prompt came from. That's all I'm going to say about that.
This is a fun one. I enjoyed the back and forth and the force of both personalities making themselves known. Plus I appreciate the need for Archibald's services as humans are quite well known for finding contractual loopholes...
2 comments:
Hmm, loopholes....
A loophole
"Why am I here?" Archibald Vergnood, Solicitor, looked around him. He was wearing a pin-striped suit and carrying a matching umbrella and briefcase -- getting a pin-striped briefcase had required a trip to Jermyn Street and a surprising sum of money, but the cases he was getting these days afforded that -- and looking slightly bewildered.
But only slightly, noted Titania, Queen of the Fairies, the Fey, and the Changelings. In fact, when she paid close attention she noted that he was also paying close attention, and the bewilderment was superficial at best.
"I am hiring your services," she said, smiling. Around her tiny firefly sized fairies darted through the air glowing brightly, illuminating patches of her woodland grove -- her court for the moment -- and startling butterflies into flight. There was a smell of red fruit -- red currants, raspberries and the like -- on the air, and a gentle breeze moved it around tantalizingly. The sun was shining, but the broad leaves on the trees above dappled it into something warming and comforting. It was, in short, seductive. And appeared to have little effect on Archibald.
"You need to make an appointment," he said, tapping the point of his umbrella on a nearby log. A frog croaked behind it, sounding disappointed. Titania raised an eyebrow fractionally, more in surprise that the frog had responded to him than at his incautious effrontery. "My secretary handles them, and then we can meet in... more salubrious surroundings."
Titania sighed and waved a hand. Faerie magic streamed about her in a blaze of blue and white and gold and the forest wavered for a moment and then crystallised somehow. Trees became tall, marble clad pillars; the gaps between them became glass-paned windows looking over a cityscape; the moss became hotel-quality carpet and the log became an expensive mahogany desk with two leather chairs, one either side, at it.
"Better?" she said. "I mean, I'm the client, I'm sure I should have some say in where we meet and how it looks. But if this makes you feel more comfortable...." There was a hint of acid in her words.
Archibald sat down opposite Titania and smiled thinly. "You're not a client until I have accepted you," he said. "And generally that's only after the first deposit has cleared, and since you are clearly Titania, Queen of the Faeries, there will certainly be a checking of any such funds in the morning light. Dry leaves are... less valuable than you may apprise them yourself."
"I see." There was tension rising between them. "But I can make a deposit, whatever suits you."
"There are background checks," said Archibald. "I have a reputation...." Titania snarled. "But let me see, what is you want first? I may not be the right person to consult, after all."
"You are."
"I don't handle divorces or family matters."
"I don't need a divorce." Now she had him, the look on his face betrayed, just for two seconds, that he'd thought this was all about her idiot husband Oberon. "What I want is a new contract for when I'm dealing with mortals. They keep finding loopholes in the existing ones."
Archibald smiled, and all the tension dropped away.
Greg - if you are familiar with the work of Garfunkel and Oates, then you will know where the prompt came from. That's all I'm going to say about that.
This is a fun one. I enjoyed the back and forth and the force of both personalities making themselves known. Plus I appreciate the need for Archibald's services as humans are quite well known for finding contractual loopholes...
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