What? What is being cut? Or who? Is this a cryptic reference to your assassin double-life? ;-)
A cut Sixticton's premier learning centre was WrongStart (originally called StrongStart until a law-suit and lack of budget for reprinting promotional materials and branded items required a slight name change. Even now the school-building had a tarpaulin with the letter W on it tied over the initial St of the original name). The staff were adept at explaining to parents that the name was about the dangers of getting the Wrong Start in life and not a suggestion that this might not be a good place to send children, and equally adept at deflecting questions like 'what happened to all those children feared drowned?' and 'wasn't there a headmaster found dead in his car with bacon all over his unmentionables?' and 'did you do the school play with the castration?'. Thankfully the 'bring your pet to day' affair seemed to have avoided making the headlines. Emma and Steve were setting up the main hall for the Arts and Crafts Fair. The local schools all competed in a Science Fair every year and the Headmaster had had the brilliant idea of having a compensatory Arts and Crafts Fair 'for the thick kids' as he put it. The teachers had welcomed the idea of not having to admire any more baking-soda volcanoes and had worked on the Headmaster's phrasing before publicising it. "I think we might have a couple of strong entries," said Emma, hauling a table across the hall by herself. Her arms ached and she was slightly sweatier than she would have liked in front of Steve, but it was nice to be out of the classroom and talking to an adult for a change. "Nicole's done some very nice origami work and her poster is stunning." "She's talented," said Steve who was arranging chairs and hoping Emma didn't notice she was doing all the heavy lifting. He'd strained his groin during a particularly competitive pickle-ball game at the weekend. "I think her sister's got a nice effort too, the one with all the scissors." "Death by a thousand cuts," said Emma. "I do hope that's just poetic licence and not sibling rivalry, you know." Steve sat down and tried to massage his aches when Emma wasn't looking. "That wouldn't do us any good," he said thoughtfully. "Headlines of 'student found stabbed to death at Arts and Crafts Fair' would definitely reduce enrollment." "Not the worst we've have," said Emma. "Remember when we lost that kid on the factory tour?" "Was he really turned into a pair of boots and a handbag?" "I hope we never find out," said Emma with feeling. "What are you doing?" "Nothing," said Steve, getting quickly to his feet and wincing. "Did you know that someone in Miss Snippet's class has knitted a volcano?" Emma paused in the act of lifting another table. "I'll find as asbestos tablecloth," she said quietly. "Miss Snippet's class don't do things by halves." "Do we have such a thing?" Steve sounded startled. "Oh yes," said Emma with just a hint of bitterness. "They used to sell them as souvenirs at Asbestos park and when they closed that down the Headmaster bought the surplus stock because it was cheap. Just don't let any of the kids breathe too much near it, ok?"
Greg - uh, only if I'm trying to kill myself. I managed to cut the tip of a finger with an exacto knife at work while opening a box of office supplies that I'd ordered. Also, I had ordered the exacto knife itself because I'd gotten annoyed with not having one to open deliveries.
So, you know, points all around for Marc on that one.
Hah, this was a particularly enjoyable visit to WrongStart. Perhaps because the fair itself is yet to begin...
2 comments:
What? What is being cut? Or who? Is this a cryptic reference to your assassin double-life? ;-)
A cut
Sixticton's premier learning centre was WrongStart (originally called StrongStart until a law-suit and lack of budget for reprinting promotional materials and branded items required a slight name change. Even now the school-building had a tarpaulin with the letter W on it tied over the initial St of the original name). The staff were adept at explaining to parents that the name was about the dangers of getting the Wrong Start in life and not a suggestion that this might not be a good place to send children, and equally adept at deflecting questions like 'what happened to all those children feared drowned?' and 'wasn't there a headmaster found dead in his car with bacon all over his unmentionables?' and 'did you do the school play with the castration?'. Thankfully the 'bring your pet to day' affair seemed to have avoided making the headlines.
Emma and Steve were setting up the main hall for the Arts and Crafts Fair. The local schools all competed in a Science Fair every year and the Headmaster had had the brilliant idea of having a compensatory Arts and Crafts Fair 'for the thick kids' as he put it. The teachers had welcomed the idea of not having to admire any more baking-soda volcanoes and had worked on the Headmaster's phrasing before publicising it.
"I think we might have a couple of strong entries," said Emma, hauling a table across the hall by herself. Her arms ached and she was slightly sweatier than she would have liked in front of Steve, but it was nice to be out of the classroom and talking to an adult for a change. "Nicole's done some very nice origami work and her poster is stunning."
"She's talented," said Steve who was arranging chairs and hoping Emma didn't notice she was doing all the heavy lifting. He'd strained his groin during a particularly competitive pickle-ball game at the weekend. "I think her sister's got a nice effort too, the one with all the scissors."
"Death by a thousand cuts," said Emma. "I do hope that's just poetic licence and not sibling rivalry, you know."
Steve sat down and tried to massage his aches when Emma wasn't looking. "That wouldn't do us any good," he said thoughtfully. "Headlines of 'student found stabbed to death at Arts and Crafts Fair' would definitely reduce enrollment."
"Not the worst we've have," said Emma. "Remember when we lost that kid on the factory tour?"
"Was he really turned into a pair of boots and a handbag?"
"I hope we never find out," said Emma with feeling. "What are you doing?"
"Nothing," said Steve, getting quickly to his feet and wincing. "Did you know that someone in Miss Snippet's class has knitted a volcano?"
Emma paused in the act of lifting another table. "I'll find as asbestos tablecloth," she said quietly. "Miss Snippet's class don't do things by halves."
"Do we have such a thing?" Steve sounded startled.
"Oh yes," said Emma with just a hint of bitterness. "They used to sell them as souvenirs at Asbestos park and when they closed that down the Headmaster bought the surplus stock because it was cheap. Just don't let any of the kids breathe too much near it, ok?"
Greg - uh, only if I'm trying to kill myself. I managed to cut the tip of a finger with an exacto knife at work while opening a box of office supplies that I'd ordered. Also, I had ordered the exacto knife itself because I'd gotten annoyed with not having one to open deliveries.
So, you know, points all around for Marc on that one.
Hah, this was a particularly enjoyable visit to WrongStart. Perhaps because the fair itself is yet to begin...
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