Happy New Year! Since it's a new year and other people traditionally decide it's time to make a fresh start and have new beginnings I'd thought I'd join in and make some new friends. However, I'm short on organs and limbs, so if you could send me some it would be much appreciated :)
A new year's wish "I don't get why the Lion got a brewery," said the Tin Man. The friends were in a taxi trying to get across the Emerald City on New Year's Eve, traditionally a bad time due to the streets being full of drunken Munchkins. At one point in the past they had also been full of drunken Ozmites, but after Dorothy came to Oz that didn't happen any more. "He asked for Courage," said the Scarecrow. "I've told you this at least six times now. Why don't you ever remember it?" "I do remember it," said the Tin Man. "It just doesn't seem fair, that's all. So Courage is the name of a brewery and alcohol can make you fearless if you drink enough of it, fine. I get that. But then why did I just get a heart that makes me cry when I see puppies widdling on daffodils but no organ transplant service delivering heart and kidneys to needy patients? Huh?" "Excuse me," said Toto huffily, "but no puppies of mine widdle on daffodils thank-you very much." "No," said the Scarecrow with another sigh. "Though you do a pretty good job of pis- widdling on every item of clothing Dorothy had." "Does that make you cry?" asked Toto, pricking his ears up at the Tin Man. "No," said the Tin Man. "Though the smell of her does. I don't think that's got anything to do with having a heart." "Do-ho deserves it," said Toto brusquely. "By the way, does anyone know where she is tonight? She wasn't in the cage when I left, so I figured one of you two idiots let her out." "Professor Scarecrow has an IQ of over 200," said the Tin Man. "He's not an idiot." "He is if he let Do-ho out of the cage." said Toto. "Well, Scruff?" "Don't call me that," said the Scarecrow. "and stop calling Do-ho Dorothy. I mean, Dorothy Do-ho. You're creating a bad atmosphere for the poor girl." There was several seconds silence, and then Toto pricked his ears up at the Scarecrow. "Fine, I suppose 'poor girl' is stretching things a bit. No, I didn't let her out of the cage. I think the Munchkins came and took her to go drinking with them." "Was she sober then?" "Not that I could see." "On their own heads be it then," said Toto. "That seems like a weird way to see in the New Year if you ask me." "They said they were going to celebrate traditionally," said the Tin Man. "They said that they were all going to get their New Year's wish." "Turn this cab around!" Toto's bark was so sharp everyone, the driver included, winced. "What's the matter?" asked the Scarecrow. "Tradition! New year's wishes!" Toto was darting back and forth, his tail wagging in agitation. "Ruff! Oz tradition is that you hang the worst criminal of the year at midnight on New Year's Eve, and the reward for getting rid of evil before the New Year is that your wishes are granted. Ruff! They're going to hang Do-ho!" The Scarecrow leaned forward to the driver. "Turn the cab around, there's a good chap," he said, his face drooping. "Let her hang," said the Tin Man sullenly. "We can't," said the Scarecrow. "You know that she swallowed the Wizard's jewel. If she dies before we get it out of her it'll destroy the whole of Oz!"
2 comments:
Happy New Year! Since it's a new year and other people traditionally decide it's time to make a fresh start and have new beginnings I'd thought I'd join in and make some new friends. However, I'm short on organs and limbs, so if you could send me some it would be much appreciated :)
A new year's wish
"I don't get why the Lion got a brewery," said the Tin Man. The friends were in a taxi trying to get across the Emerald City on New Year's Eve, traditionally a bad time due to the streets being full of drunken Munchkins. At one point in the past they had also been full of drunken Ozmites, but after Dorothy came to Oz that didn't happen any more.
"He asked for Courage," said the Scarecrow. "I've told you this at least six times now. Why don't you ever remember it?"
"I do remember it," said the Tin Man. "It just doesn't seem fair, that's all. So Courage is the name of a brewery and alcohol can make you fearless if you drink enough of it, fine. I get that. But then why did I just get a heart that makes me cry when I see puppies widdling on daffodils but no organ transplant service delivering heart and kidneys to needy patients? Huh?"
"Excuse me," said Toto huffily, "but no puppies of mine widdle on daffodils thank-you very much."
"No," said the Scarecrow with another sigh. "Though you do a pretty good job of pis- widdling on every item of clothing Dorothy had."
"Does that make you cry?" asked Toto, pricking his ears up at the Tin Man.
"No," said the Tin Man. "Though the smell of her does. I don't think that's got anything to do with having a heart."
"Do-ho deserves it," said Toto brusquely. "By the way, does anyone know where she is tonight? She wasn't in the cage when I left, so I figured one of you two idiots let her out."
"Professor Scarecrow has an IQ of over 200," said the Tin Man. "He's not an idiot."
"He is if he let Do-ho out of the cage." said Toto. "Well, Scruff?"
"Don't call me that," said the Scarecrow. "and stop calling Do-ho Dorothy. I mean, Dorothy Do-ho. You're creating a bad atmosphere for the poor girl."
There was several seconds silence, and then Toto pricked his ears up at the Scarecrow.
"Fine, I suppose 'poor girl' is stretching things a bit. No, I didn't let her out of the cage. I think the Munchkins came and took her to go drinking with them."
"Was she sober then?"
"Not that I could see."
"On their own heads be it then," said Toto. "That seems like a weird way to see in the New Year if you ask me."
"They said they were going to celebrate traditionally," said the Tin Man. "They said that they were all going to get their New Year's wish."
"Turn this cab around!" Toto's bark was so sharp everyone, the driver included, winced.
"What's the matter?" asked the Scarecrow.
"Tradition! New year's wishes!" Toto was darting back and forth, his tail wagging in agitation. "Ruff! Oz tradition is that you hang the worst criminal of the year at midnight on New Year's Eve, and the reward for getting rid of evil before the New Year is that your wishes are granted. Ruff! They're going to hang Do-ho!"
The Scarecrow leaned forward to the driver. "Turn the cab around, there's a good chap," he said, his face drooping.
"Let her hang," said the Tin Man sullenly.
"We can't," said the Scarecrow. "You know that she swallowed the Wizard's jewel. If she dies before we get it out of her it'll destroy the whole of Oz!"
Greg - yes, well, if I come across any stray parts I'll be sure to keep you in mind :P
Lion! Well, almost Lion!
And things are certainly getting tense in this land of Oz of yours. And I'm enjoying every word of it, obviously.
Post a Comment