Wednesday April 4th, 2018

The exercise:

Write about: the pub crawl.

3 comments:

morganna said...

Down the street with a
Roar, onto the next bar!
Under the table or over it
No one will out-drink me, if it
Kills me!

Greg said...

@Morganna: another great acrostic poem from you! I can picture the scene, and the Roar works perfectly for me... as well as that grim determination at the end :)

The pub crawl
"Um, I don't mean to be awkward–" said the woman with the pink butterfly glasses and a sad brown cardigan that looked as though it had been a duster in a previous life.
"Then don't," said Miss Snippet. She looked at the children lined up at the end of the swimming pool, sighed, and took a starter's pistol from her pocket. It was probably coincidental that it looked like she was aiming at the parents sat watching when she pulled the trigger and the race started.
"I say! You can't do that, you're not an official!"
"If we wait for you to do it they'll all be disqualified for being too old," said Miss Snippet.
"Look, I don't understand what events your schoolchildren are supposed to be in! And where did you get that gun? Is it one of ours?"
"The stroke, the happy-slap and the pub crawl," said Miss Snippet promptly. "I can see them written down on your form there. Aren't you old enough to be embarrassed that you can't read?"
"I can read! And what 'stroke' do you mean -- butterfly or breast?"
"Neither," said Miss Snippet in the tone of voice that made people sit down and start writing wills. "I meant stroke. The child in that event will induce strokes in his or her competitors. It's a last-man-standing event."
There was an incoherent splutter as the woman tried to complain three different at once. She ended up sitting down heavily on a chair already occupied by a parent. Behind them the children reached the first turn and dived under the water to flip and resurface. Only five actually came up again and the parents craned their necks nervously, trying to see whose children were missing.
"The happy-slap...." The woman was pushed off the parent's lap and pulled herself back to her feet.
"And the pub-crawl," said Miss Snippet. "Obviously no actual pubs at their age, but the drinking is easy enough. It started fifteen minutes ago, we should have the winner announced soon."
"Oh no, no no no...."
"Really," said Miss Snippet, taking out the starter's pistol again. "It's a competition. There have to be winners and losers, no prizes for taking-part or attendance." She pointed the pistol at the woman. "Get in the pool."
"W-Why?"
"Because we need to release the sharks for the last two laps," said Miss Snippet. "And that means we need a pacemaker."

Marc said...

Morganna - that sounds like a helluva pub crawl. Not sure I'd want to participate, but I'd definitely watch from a safe distance :)

Greg - I knew we were headed for trouble when I saw that this prompt inspired you to bring Miss Snippet into things :)