I have noted your complaint about the leprechauns, though I feel I ought to point out that it's not my fault if they have a problem with spiders impersonating them simply by putting on suits and hats :) I have also noted your doubt that I can write something bright and cheerful -- I would have thought that the theme of resurrection, and Piglet's safety from being eaten by a hungry bear were quite cheerful though :-p And while we might revisit MacArthur's new world again this week, for now, I think our Clerk of Records has the stage....
A disappearance "Is it a good idea to electrify the deer gate?" asked Emma, casting a meaningful glance back at the house where the children were sleeping. "The boys know it's safer not to touch it," said the Clerk with a faint smile. "Though when we were teaching them about it we used a very low current and they thought it was hilarious to push each other onto it and get a mild shock. There was a lot of laughter, some tears, and no real deterrent, so we had to turn it up a little until they didn't want to touch it any more. Then we turned it all the rest of the way up." "That still doesn't sound very safe," said Emma, but she sounded distracted. The Headmaster was oddly progressive in some ways and she thought she might be able to persuade him to let her electrify things if the class was being taught about the dangers of electricity. Maybe they could take a field-trip out to this deer gate.... Another thought nagged at her, and finally dragged her back to the present. "Aren't you going to find out who it is?" she said. "No," said the Clerk. "Anyone who wanted to see me that I wanted to see would have texted or called first. Everyone else can disappear." "How much electricity are you putting through the gate?" Emma realised too late that she sounded curious instead of shocked. The Clerk winked, and tapped his chin with a finger. "Enough," he said. "Enough." "Well, being twinned with an IKEA must have some benefits," said Emma, deciding to steer the conversation back to safer topics. She tried to sip her beer again, but the bottle was empty. The Clerk, noting this, reached into the cooler behind his chair and passed her another which she gratefully acknowledged. "We get the free furniture," said the Clerk, sighing, "as you've already noted, and we're free to go and tour their memorial Asbestos garden whenever we like. Though I will say that Hopping Toad, Indiana seems to be in the middle of nowhere so I'm not sure why we'd ever end up anywhere near that store." "The Willoughbys like touring retail outlets," said Emma. She taught their son and was of the opinion that the entire family contributed negatively to the human gene pool. "Mrs Willoughby has that electric shopping cart with the go-faster stripes and Mr Willoughby will do anything that involves driving his RV places." "You're proposing the Willoughbys as ambassadors for Sixticton?" The Clerk choked on his beer. "You can give me that beer back now, and go and tell the Mayor-in-waiting. She'll love you, and you're banned from all civic properties from now on." Emma clutched her beer possessively. "Don't be so... unCanadian," she said tersely. "Of course I'm not proposing them as ambassadors. But we could send them as a gift, and tell IKEA we don't accept returns. They could... disappear?" Laughter filled the night air, and the night-bird lifted up from their roosts and flittered across the moon again.
Ahahaha, I love the attitude about the electrified gate, and how the children were taught about it, and how it inspires Emma, and... yeah, this is just all around great :D
2 comments:
I have noted your complaint about the leprechauns, though I feel I ought to point out that it's not my fault if they have a problem with spiders impersonating them simply by putting on suits and hats :) I have also noted your doubt that I can write something bright and cheerful -- I would have thought that the theme of resurrection, and Piglet's safety from being eaten by a hungry bear were quite cheerful though :-p And while we might revisit MacArthur's new world again this week, for now, I think our Clerk of Records has the stage....
A disappearance
"Is it a good idea to electrify the deer gate?" asked Emma, casting a meaningful glance back at the house where the children were sleeping.
"The boys know it's safer not to touch it," said the Clerk with a faint smile. "Though when we were teaching them about it we used a very low current and they thought it was hilarious to push each other onto it and get a mild shock. There was a lot of laughter, some tears, and no real deterrent, so we had to turn it up a little until they didn't want to touch it any more. Then we turned it all the rest of the way up."
"That still doesn't sound very safe," said Emma, but she sounded distracted. The Headmaster was oddly progressive in some ways and she thought she might be able to persuade him to let her electrify things if the class was being taught about the dangers of electricity. Maybe they could take a field-trip out to this deer gate.... Another thought nagged at her, and finally dragged her back to the present. "Aren't you going to find out who it is?" she said.
"No," said the Clerk. "Anyone who wanted to see me that I wanted to see would have texted or called first. Everyone else can disappear."
"How much electricity are you putting through the gate?" Emma realised too late that she sounded curious instead of shocked. The Clerk winked, and tapped his chin with a finger. "Enough," he said. "Enough."
"Well, being twinned with an IKEA must have some benefits," said Emma, deciding to steer the conversation back to safer topics. She tried to sip her beer again, but the bottle was empty. The Clerk, noting this, reached into the cooler behind his chair and passed her another which she gratefully acknowledged.
"We get the free furniture," said the Clerk, sighing, "as you've already noted, and we're free to go and tour their memorial Asbestos garden whenever we like. Though I will say that Hopping Toad, Indiana seems to be in the middle of nowhere so I'm not sure why we'd ever end up anywhere near that store."
"The Willoughbys like touring retail outlets," said Emma. She taught their son and was of the opinion that the entire family contributed negatively to the human gene pool. "Mrs Willoughby has that electric shopping cart with the go-faster stripes and Mr Willoughby will do anything that involves driving his RV places."
"You're proposing the Willoughbys as ambassadors for Sixticton?" The Clerk choked on his beer. "You can give me that beer back now, and go and tell the Mayor-in-waiting. She'll love you, and you're banned from all civic properties from now on."
Emma clutched her beer possessively. "Don't be so... unCanadian," she said tersely. "Of course I'm not proposing them as ambassadors. But we could send them as a gift, and tell IKEA we don't accept returns. They could... disappear?"
Laughter filled the night air, and the night-bird lifted up from their roosts and flittered across the moon again.
Greg - yes, clearly not your fault. At all.
Ahahaha, I love the attitude about the electrified gate, and how the children were taught about it, and how it inspires Emma, and... yeah, this is just all around great :D
Post a Comment