And curses, for the first time in a while I've run over the character limit. So I guess I'm also testing your patience :-/
Testing "What did you say this play was?" Ben was standing behind the bar in the Royal Opera House peering at the tiny screen situated underneath the bar. It showed the stage and some of the audience and was to give them an indication of when the crowds would flow out during the intermissions and demand alcohol, either to enhance their enjoyment of the plot or wipe away their confusion with it. In some cases the audience just turned up for the alcohol, and Ben felt that given some of the performances, that that was justified. "The Testing of Fiducio," said Bill. "He's an accountant to the Duke of Venice." "Sounds dull," said Ben. "But there's a lot of people on this stage all being agitated." Bill polished a tumbler and held it up to the light to check that it sparkled. He was wearing what he insisted on referring to as his Startender's Uniform. "Yes," he said. "Well, you see the tall guy in the top hat?" "Yes?" "He's not a guy, he's actually a woman, standing on the shoulders of another woman, pretending to be a man." Ben frowned. "Why?" "The woman on top is hiding from the man she thinks is her uncle, who wants to marry her. The woman underneath is her servant, but neither of them know that she's also her twin sister who everyone thinks was lost in a shipwreck when she was seven."
"Wouldn't they notice if they looked the same?" "You'd think," said Bill, "that they'd notice a man who was actually two short women in a trench-coat, wouldn't you? Well, frock-coat I suppose, but the principle's the same. So either they're all blind as bats in Venice, or it was really, really dark there for some reason, or maybe everyone in Venice is actually two people in a coat who haven't figured out how sex works." "Oh ok," said Ben. "Yeah, you're right, it's a bit odd. So who's this woman then?" He pointed to a large woman with a resplendent red wig. "That's not a woman," said Bill. "That's the uncle pretending to be a woman, only under those full hoop skirts he's wearing he's hiding two children that he believes to be the illegitimate sons of the Duke of Venice because they would be taken away and killed if they were discovered." "And are they?" Ben was getting the hang of the plot now, and starting to follow the screen with more interest. "No," said Bill. "They're actually the real sons of the Duke of Venice that have been disguised as other little boys and presented as illegitimate sons so that the Duke can safely propose to and marry Sofia, the Virgin of Rome. Who is currently dressed up as a horse in the background in order to spy on what's going on at the Duke's Palazzio without anyone finding out. Only the Duke's groom has a thing for horses, and if gets his way she's not going to the Virgin of Rome by the time she reveals herself." "I see," Ben was fascinated now and had stopped working altogether. Bill started mixing two cocktails. "Now, the woman who the uncle is pretending to be is being chased by the man that the two women are pretending to be because the Duke has taken an interest in the 'woman' so she started flirting to throw him off and the 'man' felt that a man would respond quite actively." "So the woman doesn't want to marry her uncle, but she's now chasing him to marry her anyway?" "Without knowing it, yes. And he's not actually her uncle, either, he was adopted after the shipwreck where her twin sister got lost and is the brother to Sofia, the Virgin of Rome." "Unbelievable," said Ben, sounded enraptured. He sipped the cocktail Bill had made for him. "So where's the accountant in all of this?" "In the back room. When they sort it all out and everyone declares they're getting married he shoots himself when he realises the cost of it all."
3 comments:
Testing... the secret keepers? ;-)
And curses, for the first time in a while I've run over the character limit. So I guess I'm also testing your patience :-/
Testing
"What did you say this play was?" Ben was standing behind the bar in the Royal Opera House peering at the tiny screen situated underneath the bar. It showed the stage and some of the audience and was to give them an indication of when the crowds would flow out during the intermissions and demand alcohol, either to enhance their enjoyment of the plot or wipe away their confusion with it. In some cases the audience just turned up for the alcohol, and Ben felt that given some of the performances, that that was justified.
"The Testing of Fiducio," said Bill. "He's an accountant to the Duke of Venice."
"Sounds dull," said Ben. "But there's a lot of people on this stage all being agitated."
Bill polished a tumbler and held it up to the light to check that it sparkled. He was wearing what he insisted on referring to as his Startender's Uniform. "Yes," he said. "Well, you see the tall guy in the top hat?"
"Yes?"
"He's not a guy, he's actually a woman, standing on the shoulders of another woman, pretending to be a man."
Ben frowned. "Why?"
"The woman on top is hiding from the man she thinks is her uncle, who wants to marry her. The woman underneath is her servant, but neither of them know that she's also her twin sister who everyone thinks was lost in a shipwreck when she was seven."
"Wouldn't they notice if they looked the same?"
"You'd think," said Bill, "that they'd notice a man who was actually two short women in a trench-coat, wouldn't you? Well, frock-coat I suppose, but the principle's the same. So either they're all blind as bats in Venice, or it was really, really dark there for some reason, or maybe everyone in Venice is actually two people in a coat who haven't figured out how sex works."
"Oh ok," said Ben. "Yeah, you're right, it's a bit odd. So who's this woman then?" He pointed to a large woman with a resplendent red wig.
"That's not a woman," said Bill. "That's the uncle pretending to be a woman, only under those full hoop skirts he's wearing he's hiding two children that he believes to be the illegitimate sons of the Duke of Venice because they would be taken away and killed if they were discovered."
"And are they?" Ben was getting the hang of the plot now, and starting to follow the screen with more interest.
"No," said Bill. "They're actually the real sons of the Duke of Venice that have been disguised as other little boys and presented as illegitimate sons so that the Duke can safely propose to and marry Sofia, the Virgin of Rome. Who is currently dressed up as a horse in the background in order to spy on what's going on at the Duke's Palazzio without anyone finding out. Only the Duke's groom has a thing for horses, and if gets his way she's not going to the Virgin of Rome by the time she reveals herself."
"I see," Ben was fascinated now and had stopped working altogether. Bill started mixing two cocktails.
"Now, the woman who the uncle is pretending to be is being chased by the man that the two women are pretending to be because the Duke has taken an interest in the 'woman' so she started flirting to throw him off and the 'man' felt that a man would respond quite actively."
"So the woman doesn't want to marry her uncle, but she's now chasing him to marry her anyway?"
"Without knowing it, yes. And he's not actually her uncle, either, he was adopted after the shipwreck where her twin sister got lost and is the brother to Sofia, the Virgin of Rome."
"Unbelievable," said Ben, sounded enraptured. He sipped the cocktail Bill had made for him. "So where's the accountant in all of this?"
"In the back room. When they sort it all out and everyone declares they're getting married he shoots himself when he realises the cost of it all."
Greg - hah, it had been a while, hadn't it? And you know I never mind getting extra writing from you.
Oh my goodness. Don't even pretend that you didn't have an absolute blast coming up with the plot of that play. Incredible.
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