Heh, when I saw the first line I wondered what had happened at work in such a short space of time! Ah yes, 2021 is another year that might not have happened at all, thanks to the pandemic :) The link is the second thing that came to mind when I saw the prompt.
Unbelievable The things you say "What about them? I say a lot of things, and I am your queen. You ought to be listening to them, and then acting on them. Faster, in fact. I don't like how slow you are to do things. Yesterday I ordered you to bring me bacon for breakfast and you only brought it this morning." Franz sighed, something only permitted in the queen's presence to him alone because he was her jester, and therefore had the job of reminding her that she, too, was only human. "There was no bacon in the castle yesterday, Queen-ish," he said. "It took the better part of the day to find some and buy it and bring it back here, by which point you'd decided you wanted stuffed swan for your tea." The Queen, swaddled in rose-pink intended to give her a childish look, glared at him. She reminded him of Barbara Cartland not long before she died. "I didn't get that either." "There are three porters and a blacksmith with broken arms who tried to subdue the swan for long enough for one of us to behead it," said Franz. "You made them royalty, remember? So we can't just net one and chuck it in the oven, we have to detain it and behead it. It's nearly impossible." "Swans are refulgent and pristinely isoplastic," said the Queen. "Failure to recognise the diaphrastic principle here excoriates the soul and invectivates the narrow-minded."
Your purple prose just gives you away "I have no idea what most of those words mean," said Franz. "They sound like excuses. Instead of making things up you could just declare that the swans aren't royalty, at least for as long as it takes for us to get one cooking." The queen stood up and the blankets fell away, revealing that she was wearing a rose-pink gown decorated with bows and tiny yellow topazes. She glittered in the late afternoon sunlight and Franz lifted a hand to protect his eyes from the glare. "It doesn't matter," she said. "Though I did enjoy 'beans on toast' I did not think it was suitable for one of my station." "You're a class-four steam train now?" The queen ignored him. "And the bacon was sufficient for breakfast this morning. I have a difficult morning ahead of me--" "They're trying to teach you how to read again?" "--as I have a number of subjects to try and probably behead. For lunch then, I shall besport myself with a delectation of scallops, prawns and wildebeest. Try to deliver it on time." "Wildebeest aren't native," said Franz immediately. "And we're landlocked. If you want seafood, we need three days notice, and you're going to have to not notice that it's not very fresh when it arrives, too." The Queen gazed at him. "Come with me," she said, almost gently. "I've been meaning to find out how hard it is to actually behead someone."
3 comments:
Heh, when I saw the first line I wondered what had happened at work in such a short space of time! Ah yes, 2021 is another year that might not have happened at all, thanks to the pandemic :)
The link is the second thing that came to mind when I saw the prompt.
Unbelievable
The things you say
"What about them? I say a lot of things, and I am your queen. You ought to be listening to them, and then acting on them. Faster, in fact. I don't like how slow you are to do things. Yesterday I ordered you to bring me bacon for breakfast and you only brought it this morning."
Franz sighed, something only permitted in the queen's presence to him alone because he was her jester, and therefore had the job of reminding her that she, too, was only human. "There was no bacon in the castle yesterday, Queen-ish," he said. "It took the better part of the day to find some and buy it and bring it back here, by which point you'd decided you wanted stuffed swan for your tea."
The Queen, swaddled in rose-pink intended to give her a childish look, glared at him. She reminded him of Barbara Cartland not long before she died. "I didn't get that either."
"There are three porters and a blacksmith with broken arms who tried to subdue the swan for long enough for one of us to behead it," said Franz. "You made them royalty, remember? So we can't just net one and chuck it in the oven, we have to detain it and behead it. It's nearly impossible."
"Swans are refulgent and pristinely isoplastic," said the Queen. "Failure to recognise the diaphrastic principle here excoriates the soul and invectivates the narrow-minded."
Your purple prose just gives you away
"I have no idea what most of those words mean," said Franz. "They sound like excuses. Instead of making things up you could just declare that the swans aren't royalty, at least for as long as it takes for us to get one cooking."
The queen stood up and the blankets fell away, revealing that she was wearing a rose-pink gown decorated with bows and tiny yellow topazes. She glittered in the late afternoon sunlight and Franz lifted a hand to protect his eyes from the glare.
"It doesn't matter," she said. "Though I did enjoy 'beans on toast' I did not think it was suitable for one of my station."
"You're a class-four steam train now?"
The queen ignored him. "And the bacon was sufficient for breakfast this morning. I have a difficult morning ahead of me--"
"They're trying to teach you how to read again?"
"--as I have a number of subjects to try and probably behead. For lunch then, I shall besport myself with a delectation of scallops, prawns and wildebeest. Try to deliver it on time."
"Wildebeest aren't native," said Franz immediately. "And we're landlocked. If you want seafood, we need three days notice, and you're going to have to not notice that it's not very fresh when it arrives, too."
The Queen gazed at him. "Come with me," she said, almost gently. "I've been meaning to find out how hard it is to actually behead someone."
The things you say
You're unbelieveable
Out of the mug pops
A rabbit -- who knew magicians
Worked in seedy bars?
Greg - hah, as soon as I saw that opening line I knew what you'd linked. Great use of the lyrics and a delightful back and forth throughout.
I hope she fails in her attempt, or doesn't get around to it at all actually, because I quite like this jester.
Morganna - hah, well, can't say it would surprise me entirely. Depends on the magician, I suppose...
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