The exercise:
The yearlong prompts began eight (!) years ago with Mejaran. Vancouver Irrealis followed in 2014, with The Colony hot on its heels. Then came House of Mercy in 2016, The Dream Kingdom in 2017, and Empires in 2018.
I switched things up in 2019 with The Yearlong Poem before being utterly unable to avoid the yearlong pun of Hindsight in 2020.
Now that 2021 has arrived, Greg is bringing us back to something that began on the site where we first met, the now defunct Protagonize. Below he's provided a synopsis of what we're in for and he'll follow that with the first entry.
Though, to be fair, I've given him no warning whatsoever that I'm posting this tonight, so I hope he's got an article ready to go!
Also: I'm quite looking forward to joining in on this, as I never contributed to the original story.
Anyway. Without further ado, allow Greg to introduce those of you who may be unfamiliar with it to: The East Wallingford Gazette.
Synopsis:
The East Wallingford Gazette was the inspiration of its Chief, and only, Editor Archi_Teuthis and launched itself on Protagonize during the site's heydey. Many of the regulars on Protagonize took the opportunity to volunteer as journalists for the paper and the small town of East Wallingford, its competitiveness with West Wallingford, and its somewhat dysfunctional political system were explored through an expanding series of articles.
The Gazette championed East Wallingford at every opportunity, remarking on how its fire service rescued cats, reporting on sporting events with West Wallingford, and charting the dismal progress of Mayoral candidate Milton Stilton and his ongoing court case against his parents for his name. There was nothing too small or insignificant for the Gazette to send out a reporter and find more details of, and it was a veritable journalistic light in the modern media darkness.
When approached for comment, Editor in Command Archi_Teuthis said only that she felt that passing control over to Eloosive placed the paper into secure hands and that she expected the high journalistic standards to be maintained, and that labour relations were no longer her problem and she would continue not paying contributors for as long as she lived.
2 comments:
I think it will be fascinating to see what affects East Wallingford this year, especially since the paper has been quite quiet for a while!
COVID crisis for West Wallingford!
East Wallingford today announced the re-closure of the border between it and West Wallingford due to the spike in COVID-19 cases. This affects many residents as the official border is Wallingford High Street, as established in 1978. Prior to that the official border was the Wallingford River, but as that does not flow in a straight, north-south, line, then leaders of East and West Wallingford council agreed to move the border to Wallingford High Street.
A trumpian 'border wall' was erected down the middle of the high-street last June as part of COVID-containment efforts, which is a nine-metre tall metal lattice fence with two gates located at either end of the High Street. The gates were re-opened in October when East Wallingford announced that it was winning the war on COVID with only two active cases found. Today's news means that the gates will be closed and locked again, and East Wallingford's gate guards (Tony and Angie) will resume their duties.
"We've been told to shoot to kill," said Angie, 37 and a mother-of-two-and-a-half, "because West Wallingford have eight confirmed cases and clearly aren't doing enough to control the situation. It's life or death!" She waved her gun -- a Civil War flintlock rifle that has been handed down through seven generations of her family -- to make her point.
Wallingford Hospital has also been the subject of heated debate as it straddles the official border but 85% of it lies in East Wallingford. Mayoral candidate Milton Stilton spoke to the newspaper of behalf of the East Wallingford council:
"It's not that we don't want West Wallingford to have necessary medical treatment," he explained, "but if we make an exception for one place on the border, then we'll have to make exceptions for all of them. Most of the grocery stores are on the East side of Wallingford High Street and we can't expect god-fearing, respectable East Wallingfordians to let West Wallingfordians, masked or not, into their shops when we're in crisis. We're all in this together. The swimming pool and the cinema are both in West Wallingford and they've been very clear that East Wallingford is not welcome in either of those places -- they've been closed since May! -- so this is just respecting their wishes as much as it protecting us."
The Gazette spoke to Dr. Anthea Trachea at Wallingford Hospital about the situation.
"Well," she said, showing reluctance to talk to us, "the part of the hospital that's in West Wallingford is the morgue and the incinerator." When we pressed her about what that meant, she said further, "If the West Wallingfordians want to manage their cases then they can," and refused to say more.
Current council-leader for East Wallingford, Maria Anchovy, said that this situation would only persist until West Wallingford showed that it could get its COVID cases under control again. "We're all human," she said. "We all have weaknesses, some more than others as we can see in West Wallingford. Hopefully we shall soon see smoke rising from the chimneys of the incinerator and we shall be able to re-unite."
Okay, time to dive in.
East Wallingford Tourism Board Urges Return To Normal
At a press conference held in the lobby of The East Wallingford Inn last night, members of the East Wallingford Tourism Board (EWTB) spoke about the need for a return to "normal" before it's too late and businesses throughout town are forced to shutter permanently.
"Listen. We're not trying to say this panda thing isn't serious," Donna D'Aoust, owner of the town's best - and only - inn, told gathered reporters. "But it will end one day and it matters what's left when it does. East Wallingford - and its citizens, obviously - must survive this crisis!"
"And it's not like we're talking about opening up the border with disease-ridden West Wallingford," Dale Tapster, owner of the EW Pub and the other member of the Tourism Board, clarified. "We want to do this safely! Open East Wallingford back up to its residents and only to locations that have proven that their ability to control the spread of this virus or disease or whatever is equal to that of ours."
"Like Mexico!" Ms. D'Aoust was quick to add. It is of course a well-known fact that Manuel, her loyal and dedicated pool boy of several years, has been unable to return to East Wallingford since he left to visit his family in Cancun last November. "And other Town Council approved locations. Obviously."
The press conference was sparsely attended due to social distancing requirements limiting the number of people who could be allowed into the inn's less than spacious reception area. Maggie, the inn's front desk attendant, could be seen playing solitaire when she wasn't staring longingly at the inn's phone, which did not ring while The Gazette was present.
"It's been real quiet," Maggie lamented when asked for her thoughts. "This is the most people I've seen in here since this Prada Mickey thing started."
The EWTB announced that they would be starting a petition to present to Council at their next meeting and that they would be gathering signatures by going door to door.
"One hundred percent safely," Mr. Tapster said, holding up a clear plastic bag of pens. "Everyone will get their own pen to sign with and they even get to keep it."
"How can you say no to that?" Ms. D'Aoust beamed. "Save the town's economy and get a free pen with The East Wallingford Inn's logo on it! Though saving our economy is the most important part." Then she added after a lengthy pause, "Obviously."
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