Tuesday November 22nd, 2011

The exercise:

Space week continues with two haiku about: decisions.

I've decided to take the challenge and have all my posts this week relate to each other. I'm hoping to wrap the story up on Sunday but I haven't planned this out at all, so we'll see how that turns out.

Today's haiku are meant to portray the responses of two different crew members to the situation that's just begun to develop in yesterday's writing.

Mine:

The math is clear: by
the thirteenth hour one must
die so he may live.

*     *     *

Elsewhere a mother
holds her son and contemplates
one last sacrifice

12 Comments:

Greg said...

I guess describing what the haiku represent is the only way to get things to stay linked; I think you've done a very neat job of it.
I like the second haiku better this week, because I think the emotion in it relates better to your previous piece. Though I can see how both of these might play out.

Decisions
Leaving orbit now
Was never our decision
We're going to die.

-------

Shall we spend our time
Celebrating our lives, or
Screaming in terror?

Jordan Jack Rockerbie said...

aaand i think mine shall be a continuation as well. 'cause i'm up for the challenge. who knows, i might just post the result to Ptag. whee!


Why have you reached out?
Your signals are primitive,
Will you fly to us?

We will wait for you,
Come join us in the cosmos.
All is said in peace.

Cathryn Leigh said...

Alright time to pull out my haiku ability... I don’t think I’ve written one since sixth grade, seriously... But I started this, so I’m going to continue, but perhaps slightly differently from everyone else, just because my characters are who they are (glad you like the Feline, they detest being called cats and have yet to tell me what they call themselves). – 5, 7, 5 – right.

Contact continued
“In... Intelligent life?” Lolita stared at the cat.
Your eyes I see there,
Incredulous disbelief,
My intelligence
.”
The cat grinned at her again as Lolita tried to possess what he said.
“Was that... Poetry?”
A Hiaku, if you must know. It’s a very ancient form of poetry from your world.” The cat sat down upon its haunches and began to groom itself.
Perhaps my theory,
On human intelligence,
Has now been proved wrong.

“Now wait a minute, you can’t judge our intelligence based on me!” Lolita found anger rising. “I’m like one, one of a gazillion! And we’re all different.” She looked into his eyes which gazed amusingly at her. “Aren’t, aren’t you all different?” Her confidence was fading.
On the contrary we are very much all the same.

g2 (la pianista irlandesa) said...

I think I might copy Elo's approach.... because I can. -jazz hands-

It looked into my eyes, clutching my hand, and I couldn't help but reciprocate. I think I would've torn a hole in the universe, right over our watermelon patch, if I didn't. Not that I minded: you could almost see the cosmos dance in those eyes.

But there was something else, too.

It gently squeezed my hand, and I could feel the distance between his home and here settle in my chest, and something that my brain took as words resonated in my head:

I... I need your help.
You're probably scared, I know,
but I'm scared too.
Please.


"What do you need?" I asked, then felt very stupid for saying anything. It couldn't understand me...

Could it?

I came to explore,
but I need help to understand.
Please, can you help me?


Apparently it could.

As much as I wanted to, something told me to slow down. Helping a creature from somewhere out there could either be the adventure of a lifetime, or could be the anihilation of the human race.

Should I be willing to risk the latter to gain the former?

I squeezed its hand back. "It'll be hard," I said, "but I can try to help." Its eyes bubbled in thanks. "I'm Sara."

Something warm vibrated in my brain. It was probably the creature's name, and it was lovely, but any sort of vocalization I was capable of certainly wasn't adequate. It stooped to trace a few symbols in the dirt. It was hard to make out, but it looked like a permutation of IME.

"Can I call you Ime? Your given name," I pointed to my head, "sounds lovely, but I can't say it, and I want to call you something."

It smiled and clasped my hand with both hands.

"I'll take that as a yes."
- - - - -
They're not the best haikus, but they fit, and I still feel a bit rusty. So that's what I got.

Cathryn Leigh said...

He he I'm glad to see g2 embrace my style. Eloo said he like the feline, well it was the Feline's idea to do the Haiku in line with the story. Trust me, he had that in his head the moment Two haiku Tuesday was mentioned along with continued theme writing. :}

I'm definitely glad I came along and started following and participating in this blog. Now I know I'll be writing once daily. :}

writebite said...

Anna was intrigued by all she was told by the woman from across the universe, but she thirsted for real experience. Being human, she had to start at the start, no jumping the queue in the space race. So...

If Europa has
water, life could be sustained,
So she was told.

She boarded the craft
with a crew and equipment,
her mission began.

Marc said...

Greg - as much as I'd like to think I'd choose the first option in your second haiku, I'm pretty sure I'd end up screaming myself hoarse :P

JorJack - woo hoo, go continuations!

I'm also thinking mine might end up on Protag - I'll have to see how it looks when the week is over.

Ooh, an invitation to come visit. I like it :)

Elor - sweet, I love making people write stuff they haven't tried in ages (or never at all).

And I fully approve of the altered take on the prompt. As long as there are haiku in there I'm happy :)

Great final line. Can't wait to see where things go next!

g2 - I like the subtle insertion of doubt, that this creature might be up to no good. And the description of its name was excellent :D

Elor - I'm glad too :D

Writebite - oh man, it's just Tuesday and this is getting exciting already!

All you guys better stick with this till Sunday or I will be terribly disappointed :P

Brittany said...

I went a little overboard this time and ended up writing four! The first two are connected, but the last two are not connected at all.


You don't know what you're
doing. You're too young and I
want the best for you.

I made it. Don't ask
me what. I decided and
I have no regrets.

Dave, reconsider.
I've loved you for a long time
now. Decide. Choose me.

A moment it takes
to decide. Every choice has
its repercussions.

ATTITUDEINABUNDANCE said...

I love this, following.

Marc said...

Brittany - I'm not one to discourage going overboard with writing :)

They're all quite good, I'm struggling to pick a favorite. Maybe the last one?

Attitude - glad to have you aboard! Awesome pen name, by the way :)

Aaron said...

I will get this done!
Decisions

Fear is just a choice
All feelings are perspective
Why cower in choice?

And if they are evil?
Let us be as we are meant
Curious and Brave

Marc said...

Aaron - yes you will! :D

Love that second haiku. Really, really great stuff there.