It's weird: I think I'm working longer hours again and there's definitely a lot more to do before I think I've got things properly under control and balanced... but it feels like it's not as hard as when I was working shorter hours and worrying that I wasn't doing anything worthwhile. Clearly I've got something backwards here....
For today we're going to Sesame Street. Just because.
Clueless "Why is this called Sesame Street? That's a stupid name for a road. It should be called 'Murder-hobo alley' or 'Freakshow Boulevard'. Just look around, both of those are more descriptive than 'Sesame Street'." Ernie sighed and put the tyre-iron down so he could put his head in his hands. "Bert." he said, a note of finality in his voice. "Bert, Bert. We had this conversation already. Think before you speak. Or it's the ball-gag for you again." Bert cringed. "Please, no, Ernie." "That's better Bert. Now, since you've brought up the awkward questions.... It was originally called 'Open Sesame Street' because it was home to a den of thieves and robbers, which you're so crudely calling murder-hobos. And it still is, for the most part." "So why are there all these children here too?" Ernie picked the tyre-iron back up. "Basically, poor parenting." he said. "Someone made it to the WSJ Best-seller list with a book claiming that kids learn best from interactive environments and meeting people from all walks of life. You get just about everyone here, and... well, the things they do are not the kinds of things that kids talk about afterwards. So parents drop their kids off here thinking they're learning things, which they definitely are, and never realise quite what they're learning." Two young girls, probably six or less, ran past. "Was she carrying a switchblade?" asked Bert. His voice betrayed his nervousness. "Part of the Faginettes," said Ernie. "Street gang, maximum age is 12, after which they have to move up to the Roquettes. They run a protection racket in SoHo and BoHo and mug anyone stupid enough to try using the cross-streets downtown. Big Bird over there," he gestured to a heavyset latino man leaning against a wall and chewing on cigarettes, "keeps them in line." "Why's he called Big Bird?" "Jesus, Bert, you're clueless, aren't you?" asked Ernie. His fingers tightened on the tyre iron. "We've been here for three weeks now and you still haven't figured it out?" "You said we were picking up a Mother's Day gift," said Bert sulkily. "Yeah, for my mother," said Ernie. "She always said I was a disappointment to her and how she wanted a nice child to raise. And I think I've found the perfect one." "How about my mother?" "Bert. Your mother fell into the printing presses at Fenech&Co two years ago. She was basically turned into 160 editions of a Batman comic." "You pushed her." "You asked me to."
Greg - hmm, perhaps that whole 'doing something worthwhile' thing might have something to do with it? :)
Hah, well, this is definitely your version of Sesame Street. I like the dynamic you've established between Bert and Ernie, and I look forward to hearing more of this :)
Morganna - heh, I've felt this way. Many a time. Nicely summed up :)
3 comments:
It's weird: I think I'm working longer hours again and there's definitely a lot more to do before I think I've got things properly under control and balanced... but it feels like it's not as hard as when I was working shorter hours and worrying that I wasn't doing anything worthwhile. Clearly I've got something backwards here....
For today we're going to Sesame Street. Just because.
Clueless
"Why is this called Sesame Street? That's a stupid name for a road. It should be called 'Murder-hobo alley' or 'Freakshow Boulevard'. Just look around, both of those are more descriptive than 'Sesame Street'."
Ernie sighed and put the tyre-iron down so he could put his head in his hands. "Bert." he said, a note of finality in his voice. "Bert, Bert. We had this conversation already. Think before you speak. Or it's the ball-gag for you again."
Bert cringed. "Please, no, Ernie."
"That's better Bert. Now, since you've brought up the awkward questions.... It was originally called 'Open Sesame Street' because it was home to a den of thieves and robbers, which you're so crudely calling murder-hobos. And it still is, for the most part."
"So why are there all these children here too?"
Ernie picked the tyre-iron back up. "Basically, poor parenting." he said. "Someone made it to the WSJ Best-seller list with a book claiming that kids learn best from interactive environments and meeting people from all walks of life. You get just about everyone here, and... well, the things they do are not the kinds of things that kids talk about afterwards. So parents drop their kids off here thinking they're learning things, which they definitely are, and never realise quite what they're learning."
Two young girls, probably six or less, ran past.
"Was she carrying a switchblade?" asked Bert. His voice betrayed his nervousness.
"Part of the Faginettes," said Ernie. "Street gang, maximum age is 12, after which they have to move up to the Roquettes. They run a protection racket in SoHo and BoHo and mug anyone stupid enough to try using the cross-streets downtown. Big Bird over there," he gestured to a heavyset latino man leaning against a wall and chewing on cigarettes, "keeps them in line."
"Why's he called Big Bird?"
"Jesus, Bert, you're clueless, aren't you?" asked Ernie. His fingers tightened on the tyre iron. "We've been here for three weeks now and you still haven't figured it out?"
"You said we were picking up a Mother's Day gift," said Bert sulkily.
"Yeah, for my mother," said Ernie. "She always said I was a disappointment to her and how she wanted a nice child to raise. And I think I've found the perfect one."
"How about my mother?"
"Bert. Your mother fell into the printing presses at Fenech&Co two years ago. She was basically turned into 160 editions of a Batman comic."
"You pushed her."
"You asked me to."
No idea
About anything
I never know a thing
Very much the last person to know
Every day brings new surprises.
Greg - hmm, perhaps that whole 'doing something worthwhile' thing might have something to do with it? :)
Hah, well, this is definitely your version of Sesame Street. I like the dynamic you've established between Bert and Ernie, and I look forward to hearing more of this :)
Morganna - heh, I've felt this way. Many a time. Nicely summed up :)
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