Hmm, I guess I don't need to continue anything then, since I have explicit instructions to write about Sir Norris :) Overall I'm pleased though -- it feels like I've spent nearly half a year picking up old stories and providing a little more detail to them. Not always -- but then even taking old characters and seeing what they're up to now has been fun. That said, I did think to check what a noble knight should be like on Wikipedia. Without further ado, then, let me introduce:
Sir Norris The castle was a traditional motte-and-bailey structure and had originally been relatively modest. That was before Sir Norris had arrived though: fresh from the bloody battles of the crusades and leading nine wagons of plunder through the gates. Baron de Quimpey, who had held the castle prior to that, attempted resistance but was no match to Sir Norris's adroit bribery and the intimidating fact that his men had all been proven in battle with the Infidel. In less than a day the Baron's head was removed from his shoulders, pushed firmly up his posterior, and the body dangled from a pike on the battlements. Then the rebuilding had begun. The motte had been extended out by nearly two hundred feet in all directions and the bailey expanded similarly. Previously it had had three stories and a commanding view of the surrounding countryside; now it had eight stories and cast ominous shadows. Peasants had been press-ganged from all over to work his lands, and agriculture had taken two significant leaps forward in productivity and husbandry. In many ways it was a model, and the King was known to roundly praise Sir Norris as the most noble of his knights.
"Sire," said Richard de Griefny. He dropped a bag of wheat and straightened, rubbing his aching back. "There are empty storerooms still, Sire." Sir Norris was pissing in the font of the small chapel: before the renovations this had been a lovely little room in the castle; now it was the size of store cupboard and Sir Norris had decided to use it as such. "And?" he said, buttoning his pants. "What of it?" "Sire, you promised the Bishop that you'd improve the chapel for him." "And I have." Sir Norris smiled wolfishly, the impression only aided by his blonde moustache that merged into a neatly trimmed beard. "The chapel is now a bounteous place." "Sire-" "Richard! I still need somewhere to store the cow dung. It could have been here. It could still be your chambers." "Sire, this is hardly noble!" "If I'm doing it, Richard, it's noble. Don't you forget that." The silence was oppressive, but Sir Norris was oblivious to it. "Now, where's that useless mother of mine?" "You're having her tortured, Sire. You said that she's been worshipping the Whore of Babylon." "Oh yes." "Sire, Mary is not the Who-" "Oh shut up, Richard. I'm well aware of that, but Colin needs to keep his skills up. Anyway, you can go fetch her, I have another use for her. Get her cleaned up and put her in a nice dress." "Thank-you Sire!" "I'm selling her to Jama'al bin-Khalid. It will open up some excellent trade opportunities." "The Infidel?!" "Yes, Richard, the Infidel. The rich and wealthy Infidel."
Greg - I was unaware of the 10 commandments of chivalry before now. I fell like there's a lot to work with there...
And yes, it's been an impressive run, and one that I've very much enjoyed.
Your Sir Norris reminds me a little of Henri, who I should really bring around for another visit soon. Perhaps this is what he would have been like had he been around in the time of knights and castles and such?
Anyway, I can tell you had a lot of fun writing this and I quite enjoyed reading it :)
2 comments:
Hmm, I guess I don't need to continue anything then, since I have explicit instructions to write about Sir Norris :) Overall I'm pleased though -- it feels like I've spent nearly half a year picking up old stories and providing a little more detail to them. Not always -- but then even taking old characters and seeing what they're up to now has been fun.
That said, I did think to check what a noble knight should be like on Wikipedia. Without further ado, then, let me introduce:
Sir Norris
The castle was a traditional motte-and-bailey structure and had originally been relatively modest. That was before Sir Norris had arrived though: fresh from the bloody battles of the crusades and leading nine wagons of plunder through the gates. Baron de Quimpey, who had held the castle prior to that, attempted resistance but was no match to Sir Norris's adroit bribery and the intimidating fact that his men had all been proven in battle with the Infidel. In less than a day the Baron's head was removed from his shoulders, pushed firmly up his posterior, and the body dangled from a pike on the battlements. Then the rebuilding had begun.
The motte had been extended out by nearly two hundred feet in all directions and the bailey expanded similarly. Previously it had had three stories and a commanding view of the surrounding countryside; now it had eight stories and cast ominous shadows. Peasants had been press-ganged from all over to work his lands, and agriculture had taken two significant leaps forward in productivity and husbandry. In many ways it was a model, and the King was known to roundly praise Sir Norris as the most noble of his knights.
"Sire," said Richard de Griefny. He dropped a bag of wheat and straightened, rubbing his aching back. "There are empty storerooms still, Sire."
Sir Norris was pissing in the font of the small chapel: before the renovations this had been a lovely little room in the castle; now it was the size of store cupboard and Sir Norris had decided to use it as such.
"And?" he said, buttoning his pants. "What of it?"
"Sire, you promised the Bishop that you'd improve the chapel for him."
"And I have." Sir Norris smiled wolfishly, the impression only aided by his blonde moustache that merged into a neatly trimmed beard. "The chapel is now a bounteous place."
"Sire-"
"Richard! I still need somewhere to store the cow dung. It could have been here. It could still be your chambers."
"Sire, this is hardly noble!"
"If I'm doing it, Richard, it's noble. Don't you forget that."
The silence was oppressive, but Sir Norris was oblivious to it. "Now, where's that useless mother of mine?"
"You're having her tortured, Sire. You said that she's been worshipping the Whore of Babylon."
"Oh yes."
"Sire, Mary is not the Who-"
"Oh shut up, Richard. I'm well aware of that, but Colin needs to keep his skills up. Anyway, you can go fetch her, I have another use for her. Get her cleaned up and put her in a nice dress."
"Thank-you Sire!"
"I'm selling her to Jama'al bin-Khalid. It will open up some excellent trade opportunities."
"The Infidel?!"
"Yes, Richard, the Infidel. The rich and wealthy Infidel."
Greg - I was unaware of the 10 commandments of chivalry before now. I fell like there's a lot to work with there...
And yes, it's been an impressive run, and one that I've very much enjoyed.
Your Sir Norris reminds me a little of Henri, who I should really bring around for another visit soon. Perhaps this is what he would have been like had he been around in the time of knights and castles and such?
Anyway, I can tell you had a lot of fun writing this and I quite enjoyed reading it :)
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