I'm pretty certain that you've got some kind of Autumn or Thanksgiving themed week going on here, but I shall wait for you to continue catching up on comments to tell us about it :) I don't think this prompt works with Lord Derby's tale either unless I do a flashback, and that's not really the way that story works. So let's have a look for something else to continue :) Let's try this. That post is a milestone on this blog anyway and deserves to be remembered now and then :)
Setting sail "She's just fat," said Andrew. By an odd fluke of timing all the noise in the bar ebbed just as he shouted that, so everyone heard. Men sniggered and turned away to hide it, and women glared at him. Tony shook his head. "She's says she's not," he said. He nodded, mostly to himself. "I've asked her a couple of times, and she said the kid just doesn't want to come out. And... well, she's tried every diet I've ever heard of and then some. We've got like two shelves of diet books." Andrew frowned, and took a moment to think while he drank his beer. "It's not your kid then?" he asked. It wasn't relevant, but he was sure he couldn't remember any cases of a human being pregnant for longer than 10 months, let alone nearly three years. "No, I met her about four months ago. She was in the pharmacist, being fat-shamed, and I stepped in to defend her. She got a bit tearful about it all, so I suggested we grab a coffee, so we did. And then one thing led to another, and well... I'd like to try and help her not be pregnant anymore." "Lots of diets?" said Andrew, sure that his thoughts were just going round in circles. "Grapefruit diet?" "Tried it." "Cherry-pit diet?" "Tried that. I wasn't there for that, apparently it gets messy in the bathroom after two weeks." "You're only supposed to go on it for a week at a time. Hmm. Glandular fever?" "Is that a diet?" "Sort of, it's very effective for losing weight if you catch it." The barman approached their table, walking as though he expected to be chased away, and set down an entire Black Forest Gateau. "From the two women at the bar," he said quietly. "The butch ones. Er. They wrote this note too." He handed Andrew a piece of line paper, and practically ran back to the bar. "You're not exactly skinny yourself," said Andrew, reading from the paper. He waved at the barman to come back. "I'm actually permanently three kilos underweight through stress, so I'm going to eat all of this. Barman, can I get a couple of forks please?" "Is she going to be pregnant forever?" asked Tony. "Only there's this cruise I want to take her on, it's called Setting sail and it's all about starting a new life together. We'll see the West Indies and bits of the Caribbean, and get a chance to really know each other. Only there's a religious bit too, and I think they might think it's a big odd if she's already pregnant." "Tell them she's fat," said Andrew, just as the noise in the bar ebbed away again. The barman laid the forks down on the table with a sympathetic look. "But diets don't work for her." There was a minute while Andrew dug into the cake and the expressions on the faces of the two women at the bar turned from triumphant to dismayed, and then Andrew paused, licked cream from his upper lip, and his eyes turned sad. "Jesus," he said. "What?" Tony shifted in his seat, realising something wasn't quite right. "Go on the cruise as soon as you can mate," said Andrew. "Ignore the comments." "What? Why?" "Because the only other thing it can be is a tumour."
I am so, so glad that you brought these two back, as I'd forgotten about that scene until I started reading the link. This is fantastic stuff, even with the unexpectedly grim ending.
I think the bar going quiet both times he shouts 'fat' is my favorite part.
2 comments:
I'm pretty certain that you've got some kind of Autumn or Thanksgiving themed week going on here, but I shall wait for you to continue catching up on comments to tell us about it :)
I don't think this prompt works with Lord Derby's tale either unless I do a flashback, and that's not really the way that story works. So let's have a look for something else to continue :)
Let's try this. That post is a milestone on this blog anyway and deserves to be remembered now and then :)
Setting sail
"She's just fat," said Andrew. By an odd fluke of timing all the noise in the bar ebbed just as he shouted that, so everyone heard. Men sniggered and turned away to hide it, and women glared at him. Tony shook his head.
"She's says she's not," he said. He nodded, mostly to himself. "I've asked her a couple of times, and she said the kid just doesn't want to come out. And... well, she's tried every diet I've ever heard of and then some. We've got like two shelves of diet books."
Andrew frowned, and took a moment to think while he drank his beer.
"It's not your kid then?" he asked. It wasn't relevant, but he was sure he couldn't remember any cases of a human being pregnant for longer than 10 months, let alone nearly three years.
"No, I met her about four months ago. She was in the pharmacist, being fat-shamed, and I stepped in to defend her. She got a bit tearful about it all, so I suggested we grab a coffee, so we did. And then one thing led to another, and well... I'd like to try and help her not be pregnant anymore."
"Lots of diets?" said Andrew, sure that his thoughts were just going round in circles. "Grapefruit diet?"
"Tried it."
"Cherry-pit diet?"
"Tried that. I wasn't there for that, apparently it gets messy in the bathroom after two weeks."
"You're only supposed to go on it for a week at a time. Hmm. Glandular fever?"
"Is that a diet?"
"Sort of, it's very effective for losing weight if you catch it."
The barman approached their table, walking as though he expected to be chased away, and set down an entire Black Forest Gateau. "From the two women at the bar," he said quietly. "The butch ones. Er. They wrote this note too." He handed Andrew a piece of line paper, and practically ran back to the bar.
"You're not exactly skinny yourself," said Andrew, reading from the paper. He waved at the barman to come back. "I'm actually permanently three kilos underweight through stress, so I'm going to eat all of this. Barman, can I get a couple of forks please?"
"Is she going to be pregnant forever?" asked Tony. "Only there's this cruise I want to take her on, it's called Setting sail and it's all about starting a new life together. We'll see the West Indies and bits of the Caribbean, and get a chance to really know each other. Only there's a religious bit too, and I think they might think it's a big odd if she's already pregnant."
"Tell them she's fat," said Andrew, just as the noise in the bar ebbed away again. The barman laid the forks down on the table with a sympathetic look.
"But diets don't work for her."
There was a minute while Andrew dug into the cake and the expressions on the faces of the two women at the bar turned from triumphant to dismayed, and then Andrew paused, licked cream from his upper lip, and his eyes turned sad.
"Jesus," he said.
"What?" Tony shifted in his seat, realising something wasn't quite right.
"Go on the cruise as soon as you can mate," said Andrew. "Ignore the comments."
"What? Why?"
"Because the only other thing it can be is a tumour."
Greg - Thanksgiving it is. Well spotted :)
I am so, so glad that you brought these two back, as I'd forgotten about that scene until I started reading the link. This is fantastic stuff, even with the unexpectedly grim ending.
I think the bar going quiet both times he shouts 'fat' is my favorite part.
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