Friday February 1st, 2013

The exercise:

Write four lines of prose about: the valet.

January is behind us once more, hurray! The sun came out to welcome February back to the party, so I went out this afternoon to take some pictures. Here's one from partway up the mountain just east of town:


Tomorrow morning Max will meet my sister and brother-in-law from Calgary for the first time. So very, very excited about that.

They're only here for the weekend, but I figure that's more than enough time for Max to convince them they need to move here.

Mine:

Randall moved through the empty hallways of the lower decks, a freshly laundered suit over his shoulder. Above him he could just make out the shouts of panic as passengers stampeded aimlessly, desperate for an authority figure to tell them what to do.

He shook his head and smiled sadly before dragging his attention back to the task at hand.

He didn't know what he'd discover inside Room 792, but the key he'd found inside the suit would show him soon enough.

3 Comments:

Greg said...

That is a beautiful picture with great composition; you should show your visitors from Calgary that, as that should be enough to persuade anyone to stay! Though Max surely has his charms as well ;-)
Your valet seems to have an interesting job and an unnerving amount of confidence. I think you ought to theme a week around him – maybe a 'secret agent' week so that we're not all fighting over him. Oh, and since it's a new month, we get a shared-world post soon don't we? :-D

The valet
Robert Herrington-Garsnide tapped the metallic skin of the valet and peered into its violet-lensed light sensors – its 'eyes'.
"You bought me an electronic valet?" he asked his mother, his plummy tones conveying the unsurety of a man who didn't even touch the screen of his own iPhone.
"Yes, it's the top-range model that that Electronic Surveillance Company produce," said his mother, though to less cultured ears it might have sounded like she was braying.
"..and on whose behalf am I being surveilled?" asked Robert slowly.

Yolanda said...

Hi, I've been meaning to write something for ahwile now. Stumbled across your blog not too long ago by accident. I am happy the sun came out for you, Okanagan winters have this habit of offering day after day of low lying cloud. I suppose it makes for good writing weather though because you don't really want to be outside.

Here is my 4 lines of prose:
No where did a sign read "Valet Parking", yet the way she stepped out of the car with her 9inch heels and $500 short dress normally worn by 20 year olds on a Saturday night, displaying long legs with tight freckled sun baked skin, dropping the keys to her BMW SUV into the dark hands of an International student from India, you would have thought there was one.

She walked towards the shop doors with her head held high, and her prada handbag tight under her arm, muttering that she'd be back in 25 minutes.

The boy from Mumbai studying engineering had a look of disinterest on his face whilst he checked out her swaying bottom walking away. He got in the car after she had gone, parked it next to a hose, and proceeded to lazily wash her car as she shopped, not caring much as not even the rich tip at the KMart budget parking lot car wash where he earned minimum wage.

Marc said...

Greg - thanks!

Hmm, a secret agent week. I shall have to write that one down, as that has heaps of potential.

And thank you for the reminder :)

Ah, the ESC. I had forgotten about that. Good to be reminded of it.

Yolanda - hello! I'm glad you've found the time to write something and share it with us :)

And yes, there has been much more than enough of low lying cloud lately. The sun was much appreciated.

Great details in your piece. Your international student definitely has my sympathies.