Saturday May 23rd, 2015

The exercise:

Write a four line poem about: giving up.

Got some more work done in the strawberries this morning, despite coming down with the cold Max picked up in the last couple days. It's fun working in 30 degree heat while suffering from a cold.

Wait, did I say fun? I meant... something I'm not going to say here.

Anyway. I think the end is in sight with the strawberry patch. Just in time for the harvest to begin in earnest.

Mine:

Promises broken, lies kept hidden,
All those times you just couldn't be true;
I've forgiven too many wrongs - now
It's time for me to give up on you.

3 comments:

ivybennet said...

Marc, I hope you're not planning on giving up on those strawberries if you're so close! I'm rooting for you!

Your poem is beautiful. The sentiments are so realistic and raw; I can connect so easily.

Giving Up:

I’ve endured so long, trying to save face,
To keep a glass smile plastered in its place.
But lately I’ve grow exhausted of this farce,
And wish nevermore to inflate confidences so sparse.

Greg said...

@Ivy: I like the idea of that glass smile, it's a great image! I feel like your last line has a few too many syllables in it, it rather breaks up the poem for me. But overall the effect is moving.

@Marc: It seems odd to have a cold in 30 degree heat... but I guess that's because colds aren't really dependent on the cold to appear :) Still, I hope it doesn't hold you back too much, and that Max gets over his habit of picking up every cold going soon!
There's a lovely flow in your verse today and even though the content is sombre, there's a definite pleasure to be had from reading it out loud. Great work!

Giving up
The earth gives up its bounty,
A thousand tomatoes strong.
So is throwing them at passing children
Really all that wrong?

Marc said...

Ivy - nah, I'm too stubborn to give up on... most anything :P

Thank you for the kind words on mine.

I agree with Greg's observations, especially the bit about the glass smile. I'm not sure what I'd do with the final line... maybe switch out 'And wish nevermore to' with something like 'No more will I'.

*shrug* Just tossing ideas out there.

Greg - yes, I'm rather looking forward to Max giving up his fascination with other kids' colds.

Thank you as well for the kind words on mine.

I'm not going to answer the question posed by your poem, instead I choose to appreciate it's opening two lines. I like that imagery a lot.